I feel like kids shows are becoming a lost art, I really do.
I mean, when I was a little kid, PBS was seriously one of my favorite things to watch.
Bill Nye, Ghost Writer, Square One, that creepy one, with the mime…like, we had shows that
were both entertaining, and educational.
What do kids have today, Sesame Street?
Uh, no, that was ours, too.
I mean, what’s theirs?
Kim Kardashian?
We had Carmen Sandiego.
And look, I don’t want to sound mean, although I don’t care if I do…but when I talk to
younger people, and they don’t even know where f*cking Russia is…I wonder if they’d
be better off with Carmen Sandiego, too.
Like, stop watching whatever reality show you’re numbing your brain cells with, and
YouTube some Carmen goddamn Sandiego.
Maybe then, American students wouldn’t be ranked 36th in the world, or whatever.
Number one in fashion, though.
Watch some freaking Mathnet.
You little brats.
Anyway, now I’m all upset, I lost my train of thought.
Point is, I’m grateful that I grew up with things Carmen Sandiego.
And I’m grateful for Mark from Rangeville, Australia, for sending us Where In Time Is
Carmen Sandiego?
for the SEGA Genesis.
Australia.
It’s not a type of purse, you little brats.
So look, I’ll be honest, any kind of gaming-type criticism I might’ve had with this game?
I’m throwing right out the window, ‘cause this game’s freaking awesome.
I had so much fun with this, it felt like 1989 all over again.
And hey, know what else?
Guess what was one of the highest-selling, most popular video games of the holiday season,
in 1989?
Yeah, Carmen freaking Sandiego.
‘Cause back then, kids gave a sh*t.
Even if our parents were obsessed with material wealth, and cocaine.
Us kids were like, “Hey, I want to learn from Berlin down to Belize, f*ck yeah.”
Odell Lake, too.
Taught us how to…fish, and survive, off the land.
Basically, just catch the Dolly Varden.
Anyway, if you are a young person, and I haven’t offended you enough that you’ve left a poorly
spelled comment and walked away…let me explain what this is.
Carmen Sandiego was a series of educational games, where you had to track villains around
the world.
Or in this case, through time.
You get a series of clues, and from them, you have to figure out where the bad guy’s
heading.
And Berlin and Belize are not always options, so…
Need to know more than just the theme song.
Point is, it’s a really fun game.
Especially when you’re a kid.
It takes all this things you’re learning in school…and it gives you something to
do with them, you know?
Even though it’s a video game, it’s an awesome application of what you’re learning.
Like, if a witness heard the suspect talking about the Ming dynasty, where might she be
going next?
And when you’re a kid, that sets off a little light bulb, you know?
Like, “Oh, I know where she’s going!
We learned about that last week!”
For a video game to do that is pretty cool.
Of course, going back to it now…the game definitely has that early nineties, green
screen, Apple II-e kind of feel to it?
Like, in terms of the design and the layout.
But I don’t know, maybe it’s the nostalgia talking, but I think it looks okay.
And actually, one of my favorite little touches, was always the animations of the villains.
Like, if you’re on the right track, you get little animations showing that your suspect
has some henchmen nearby.
And again, when I was a kid, that was really exciting to see.
It gave you a feeling of accomplishment.
And it also kept you playing, too.
You felt like you were so close.
So you really wanted to get the next clues right, too.
And remember, back then, we didn’t have Google, you know?
You had to know this stuff or use logic and piece together the stuff you didn’t know.
Or use a research book, like an encyclopedia.
Which, by the way, the PC version came with an encyclopedia.
And believe it or not, that was actually a lot of fun.
You felt like you were really solving a crime, you know?
Doing the research…singing a cappella, just like the pros…
Just don’t forget to get a warrant.
Gotta play by the rules, gumshoe.
I hadn’t played this game since…oh, 1993?
94, maybe?
And I’ve never played it on the Genesis, so I was super excited when I saw this donation.
Thanks again, Mark.
Honestly, I’m usually pretty down on kids games, they’re usually the worst…but seriously,
if you have kids, and they play games…don’t even hesitate, get them this one.
And actually, you know what?
Even if you don’t have kids, get it, anyway.
Square One Television may be off the air, but at the very least…we can still play
Where In Time Is Carmen Sandiego?
Where in time, is Broderbund?
And can they please come back?