How to help a child who is scared of the dark that's the common problem and often crops up when
they're a bit more able to communicate have a few more ideas going on and you know in the preschool
of stage sometimes the toddler stage you start to see that emerging or even the early school years
and yes they could be scared of the dark before that but it's gonna be less likely they can let
you know so I think it's always important to not assume that they are and I think my child must be
scared of the dark because maybe they're not so it tends to show up and later toddlers preschoolers
early school years I'm gonna give you four tips about this today four things that you
can consider to help with a child that is scared of the dark number one discuss it with your child
talk about it let them express how they're feeling because do if you just dismiss it so discuss don't
dismiss because if you dismiss it or don't be silly or you know that's anyway in making out
that it's nonsense you're you're not validating your child's feelings and and even if you think
they're just trying it on even if you don't think it's a genuine fear don't dismiss it they'll just
play on it more because they'll be you know they'll make you want to listen or they'll act
in a way that gets your attention about that so actually listen ask them what is it that you're
afraid of you'll probably get the answer the dark but try and try and pull out don't give them ideas
don't suggest things don't say is it the you know that shadow over there when we sit there you know
please don't give them ideas but just try and draw her out and say well what is it is there something
is there something you can see or you know almost look at grab I know you can't see it but try and
trying to enter explain more specifically what it is they're afraid of if they really can't
then there's probably not so much to it and it probably just is a fear of not being able to see
around the room and that kind things so discuss it reassure them but don't dismiss the concept
of being scared don't tell them necessarily okay it's a valid feeling number two is to reassure
and let them know that whilst you understand that everything's okay and even you can play a
few games with the light and dark and go lick the lights on and the room looks like this the lights
off and look everything's the same and just do little you know make her make a real positive
game out of it almost and show them and let them demonstrate and show how nothing changes it's just
darker but nothing else has changed and so lots of reassurance understanding empathy there as well
and now if you feel like you do need some light in the room and they're actually just a little
bit of light because different rooms are different darkness and I always say to try and have the room
on an 8 out of 10 if anything from 1/8 upwards if 10 was pitch-black couldn't see a hand in front of
your face then you really want to be going no lighter than a 7 to 8 otherwise it's gonna be
too light and that's not conducive to sleep and I always say back out all the natural light because
natural light messes with our circadian rhythm so in terms of artificial light make sure you're
around a seven or eight minimum out of 10 darkness and but if you do need some light in the room and
if your child is genuinely scared but just a little bit of light does make them feel better
then you need a suitable light option and those will be a red or an amber colored light they don't
mess up your night vision and they also don't mess with your your retinas and your receptors that end
up triggering wake up hormones and all kinds of other stuff that goes on in our in our systems
without going into the science to avoid that stuff happening stick with the red or the amber
colored lights and nice and dim I'm yet to find the perfect light I'd like to invent the perfect
light and but I have various bulbs and if you put it in the right kind of lamp you can get it dull
enough and red and it just it's enough of a glow that you can see it's like having night vision and
you can see around the room but it's not lighting everything and it doesn't mess with sleep at all
so you can sleep with that kind of thing all night long and make sure it is nice and damn so having a
suitable light option it might be that actually they don't need to see and have a light on all
night but they just need something they can pick up and have a look around and then put the light
back down and those kind of things exist as well but again try and go for the red or amber because
there's so many fancy lights there are all kinds of lovely colors but that's just gonna mess with
their sleep so keep it right around a third thing I want to give you is whenever you set
up for your child around sleep so if you say you can have this light torch then you can have this
particular light on and whatever your whatever you decide and whatever the rule is stick to it have
a limit don't just have some kind of unlimited okay you can have this all right now tonight
it's this and before you know it there's a light show going on so have a limit to what your allow
and and don't overindulge you know if you think no I've given you this and I know that's enough - you
know distinguish some of that fear and and you you know you've responded and you've acknowledged the
situation don't overcompensate because there's they'll just they won't stop and you give them
a red light and then this they can have this like could I have that light no this is what we have
it's ok you can see everything and stick to it and my fourth and important point on this topic is
don't put your fears on to your child so maybe you have a fear of the dark maybe you feel a little
uncomfortable when you can't see maybe you do that thing where you're walking up the stairs and
darkness and you're like you just stop freaking yourself out and feel the need to run kids do the
same they do you know leggett to your room because they're scared I'm sure loads of people have that
me hear this boom boom boom where they're just you know desperate to get to the way you are without
the humid Alcon their own and so don't put your fears if you have any fears or concerns about the
dark where you feel a little uncomfortable in the dark don't just assume your child does - so many
people say to me arm yeah I'm my 9-month folds really scared of the dark so I've put a light
in it how do you know you're 9 months old scared of the dark they probably aren't and if you're so
concerned that they might be or because you are that you're putting a light in there then there
will be so when you just when you do decide the light it's causing a problem you need to take it
away they're not going to like it so if you can go with darkness for sleep right from the beginning
and what you're more likely to avoid fears of the dark they crop up here and there and sometimes
people go yeah I have these pretty stars on your ceiling or have this little thing and that's okay
don't have flashing light shows changing colors and things that are making them lip
and watch because that's not conducive to sleep one steady light red or amber is fine bill yeah
don't put your face on to your child I hope that helps and gives you some four really good things
to think about and that you can address when trying to help a child who's scared of the dark