- That's why I came here. Now I do freestyle rap.
That's rap that you make up; it's improvised.
It's not written or prepared.
We'll get five random topics, then we'll drop a beat,
do a freestyle rap and we'll start over here.
Let's get a suggestion from this corner.
What would you like a rap about?
- [Audience Member 1] The president tripping!
- The president tripping?
Oh, like yesterday he was giving like a commencement thing
and he kind of-- 'Cause it was wonderful wasn't it?
'Cause he didn't even move.
He just turned and collapsed, which was,
(audience laughing)
it was wonderful, really.
Usually you have to take a step to trip. He...
(audience laughing)
imploded in a way.
Cool. Lovely stuff.
The president tripping.
Middle, middle of the room.
What would you like a rap about?
- [Audience Member 2] Jenna!
- Pardon?
- [Audience Member 2] Jenna.
- Jenna? It's a name.
(audience laughing)
Should I know?
Is it, you know, is it like Madonna?
Is it like a famous, one person name?
Who's Jenna? (audience laughing)
- [Audience Member 2] A hot girl.
- Who?
- [Audience Member 2] A hot girl, Jenna. Hot girl.
- Hot girl Jenna?
(audience laughing)
Are you perhaps called Jenna, my friend?
(audience laughing)
I do my own PR, I'm Jenna. Okay!
(audience laughing)
Cool! Jenna, Jenna, the hot girl. Great.
(audience laughing)
Middle, front of the room.
Don't just shout out a Christian name.
What would you like a rap about?
(audience laughing)
- [Audience Member 3] Liquid nitrogen!
- Liquid nitrogen?
Oh, very good.
Have you had any warts or verrucous removed recently?
(audience laughing)
Great.
Liquid nitrogen, Jenna, the president tripping.
This side of the middle and then we'll come to you
for the last.
What do you guys wanna rap about?
- [Audience Member 4] Traveling with your mom.
- Traveling with your mom?
Is your mother here?
Yes, via what means have you traveled recently?
- [Audience Member 4] We're from Canada.
- You're from Canada, oh my gosh.
(audience cheering)
They're just jealous of your healthcare.
That's all that is. (audience laughing)
Traveling with your Canadian mother.
And then this segment, the final suggestion.
Make it the best. (audience member mumbles)
- [Audience Member 5] Marriage! Marriage!
- There were two. I heard marriage bellowed out by a man.
So what, good on you and then someone else said
(audience laughing)
Shrooms?
Was that, did you say shrooms?
- [Audience Member 6] Drunk gynecologist. I think he did
say something... - I think he--
- [Audience Member 7] Gynecologist on shrooms!
- Oh, a gynecologist on shrooms.
Okay. Yes. (audience laughing)
Why not?
So, traveling with your Canadian mother,
a gynecologist on shrooms, Jenna,
the president tripping, liquid nitrogen, maybe marriage.
It was probably slightly bested by gynecologist on shrooms.
I do apologize for that. (audience laughing)
I've got my band here.
They're gonna drop a delicious, delightful beat.
(audience laughing) (piano scale playing)
Why are you laughing?
Were you like, "Oh, this can't actually be real.
It's not really gonna happen."
But they've got, they've got a, they've got music.
Well, Jeremy and Red are gonna play the music.
I'm gonna make up the beats.
The rap be as good as your suggestions.
So, let's go for it.
(rap beat playing)
I hope the raps fun. 10 out of 10 there.
One girl at the back shouting out "Jenna! That's my name."
I imagine how you look.
Probably the long blonde hair looking pretty
cooking like a dime walking down the street.
All the guys slobber when they walk past they say,
"I wanna meet this lady." What's her surname?
We don't know. It's a mystery.
Maybe put that old shaped ring on the finger.
You could be wedded, then before you go to bed
you should be heading to the gynecologist.
Check, please. You gotta make sure there's no
STDs or STIs inside. Man does too.
And then maybe marriage is coming to you.
But wait, step back, rewind there to the room.
The OBGYN is consuming the shrooms.
(audience cheers) Four hours ago.
Yes, I could see she was brewing
up the mushrooms in the pot of the tea.
Psilocybin, slidin' in the cup.
She starts coming up and she's like, "What the fuck?
This is insane." The lady's there.
I feel like I could climb inside her labia.
It's like a big wet cave. The walls all pink.
This is what a shroomy gynecologist thinks.
I know this is slightly forward.
If you are with your mum and you're bringing her for sure
you gotta be careful.
Should or warned, there's a white guy rapping.
Maybe, mum, you could spend this time napping.
Dreaming about things that you like more.
Maple syrup. That's what you guys adore.
And truck protests. Oh yes, bro.
And people goin', "Isn't he dishy, Trudeau?"
The man. When you travel with your mum, I should ask,
do you give her the upgrade and go first class?
You've gotta splash the cash.
She pushed you out from inside.
But her doctor didn't imbibe all the shrooms,
'cause in Canada they're more regulated.
If you've got a wart
then you should be persuaded to get it
- 40 and 50, burn it off quickly.
Kind of liquidy nitrogen.
That's different you might guess.
It's not like fast and the furious with the liquid nitrous
it's the liquid nitrogen.
It looks like dry ice.
A chemist over there is like my eyes are bulging
in the back of my head.
Last one. Yeah, Biden. He's almost dead.
He's like (audience laughing)
in his eighties. Fuckin', fuckin' old.
He needs to have a handrail
which he could hold, but he didn't.
He stood there on stage.
Why are you groanin' at me and getting enraged?
He's like, "There's two years of my tenure.
Then four more." And then he collapsed
fuckin' down onto the floor.
(audience laughing and cheering)
You guys are lovely. My name's Chris Turner.
Thank you very much. Good night. Goodbye.
(audience cheering)
- Yeah! Huh?! What did I say?! What did I say?!