The last time I was in Paris, I was maybe 10? Things looked different back then not
because they've actually changed, more so just because I notice different things.
Last time I was here I remember being whisked away from attraction to attraction.
First the Eiffel Tower then the Louvre, Arc de Triomphe, Sacré-Coeur,
I could go on. This time, I'm doing it a little different. First of all, I'm here for a longer
time so I get to slow down, and second, I know from life experience that I don't have to go
to the top of the Eiffel Tower to feel like I'm living. Anyways, the reason why I'm here is
because I just need a break. I've felt overwhelmed almost every single day back in school working on
my film and thinking about what the hell I wanna do with my career, and I know I'm not the only
one feeling this way. Wherever you are, however you're feeling, I hope that you can take this time
with me to just relax and look at cool things that have been... color corrected and carefully curated
and romanticized, but cool nevertheless. So yeah let me take you around Paris.
Recently, I bought a new sketchbook and some colour pencils and slowly I've been
filling up the pages. Ever since I started thinking about art as a serious career,
I've started to think more in terms of "what can I draw to make my portfolio stand out"
and less in terms of "what are my impulses right now? What do i like to draw?"
I'll say this: focusing on the former has lessened my job anxiety but on the other hand,
art isn't as fun as it used to be. The pressure I feel to make good work has led to a lot of stress.
With this sketchbook, I've been trying to do more of the latter; draw what I want.
If I want to draw pretty flowers with no meaning behind them whatsoever, I will do that. Sometimes,
my perfectionistic tendencies will take over and pages will be more nicely composed,
other times I'll doodle from one place to the next putting down whatever comes to mind.
The best days are when I stumble into a state of flow. Hours will pass and I won't notice.
I grew up around here. Spent a lot of time here, and so when I look at this map filled with an
ungodly number of one-way streets and paths that have no respect for cardinal directions,
I am absolutely thrilled. These maps do tell a bit of a story. One is organic and meandering,
the other is structured and efficient, and while I'm sure individual lifestyles vary wildly,
I do get a strong sense that the cultures follow these patterns. In Paris at least, I feel that the
quality of life is taken more seriously. I can sit in a café for hours and not have to worry
about getting kicked out without buying another drink. Public transportation is decent and streets
prioritize people over cars. There are bookstores everywhere, parks everywhere, cafés spill onto
the streets. I even imagine being a pigeon isn't so bad if you get to feast on leftover brioche.
On Bastille Day I went to the Louvre. When I was 10, I was most excited to see the Mona Lisa.
I wanted to see if her eyes would follow me across the room, and when we finally came face-to-face,
which was hard because there were many bigger, taller people in front of me, I remember thinking:
Wow. She is smaller than I thought. Why is she such a big deal? And this is the only thought
I remember having in the Louvre. Today I am over twice as old and know a lot more about art
history. Having that bit of context has changed the way I look through museums and this time, Mona
wasn't the star of my show. I did see her again though, from a distance. We made eye contact, but
I didn't wait in line to say hi. There was a part of me that felt comforted that 10 years later,
nothing about her had changed, and the next time we'd see each other, maybe in another 10 years,
it would be in the same room, and she'd have the same smile, with the same eyes.
There were a few more museums I visited. Musée Carnavalet, which is dedicated to
Parisian history, and Musée d'Orsay which most famously houses a lot of Impressionist work,
but my favorite by far was the Musée des Arts et Métiers – the museum of technological innovation.
It's definitely a lot quieter than the Louvre with more space to breathe. Arts et Métiers
is divided into several sections: measurement, materials, construction, communication, energy,
mechanics, and transportation. Each room is more or less arranged chronologically with the
earliest inventions at the start and modern life at the end. Here's the reflection I wrote down
later that week: I watched how the phonographs and automatons and hydrometers of their era
shed their gilded ornaments and became instruments of industry the color of coal, then again watched
as they shed their weight to become sleek, ubiquitous, powerful hardware hidden from view.
When I look at my phone, a device with a calculator, camera, and global encyclopedia
all tucked into one, I feel that I am already living far in the future. The modern stuff doesn't
draw nearly as much attention as the older stuff; products nowadays just feel more disposable,
but I like to look at them because it's strange for me to see them in this context:
displayed like priceless possessions behind glass. It makes me wonder: in a hundred years,
how will our lives be understood? What will be left of us? I hope it's not just trash.
As I've gotten older, I've become more wary of big flashy events and more appreciative
of smaller moments, especially when I'm with good company or good food. The Louvre is magnificent,
the Panthéon impressive, but so is a glass of apricot juice on a hot day. Here's a list
of other small things I love: sitting by the window in the mornings. Cobblestone.
This brand of lemon yogurt. 9PM sunsets. Book shops by the Seine. These thrifted clothes that
I got for 5 to 10 euros. The curvature of metro stations. Easy-to-access Asian grocery markets.
Knowing that I can buy the same sauces I use to cook at home is very comforting. And to keep
things balanced, here is a list of things I hate. Heat. Air pollution. Bees landing on my tartine.
Anxiety when speaking a foreign language. The feeling that even if you wanted to live here
you'd never belong. The time I was fined 35 euros for not understanding the transportation system.
When your travels are coming to a close and your days are numbered. Having said all of this,
I've had a pretty good time – more than I could have hoped for. I haven't actually gone to see the
Eiffel Tower yet despite being here for a while, so who knows, maybe I'll do that next. Anyways,
that's it for now. Thank you as always for coming along, it always means a lot.