We got a WrestleMania 36 rematch!
We got a WrestleMania 37 rematch!
We got a WrestleMania…’s Backlash rematch!
I’m Luke Owen, please do consider giving this channel a subscribe, tap the bell for
notifications, and superkick the thumbs up button - because we’ve got more great video
content coming up this week - like my review of WrestleMania.
I mean my review of WrestleMania Backlash.
I mean my review of Hell in a Cell 2021… in about 10 minutes.
Although there is such little to say about the show I don’t know how I’m going to
fill the time.
The kick off show was the usual hour of people not saying much of anything, and Natalya beat
Mandy Rose in a quick match that I’m sure will set up a rematch on Raw tonight, or most
likely tag team title shot.
But at least we now know why WWE released Braun Strowman a few weeks ago, because with
all that money saved they can buy all of the pyro to open this show!
After an opening video that seemingly was a reference to The Warriors - you know that
brand new movie that came out in checks notes 1979.
WARRIORS COME OUT AND PLAY.
The first match saw a WrestleMania Backlash rematch as Bianca Belair retained her Smackdown
Women’s Championship against Bayley in a really good Hell in a Cell match.
They told a fun story that played out through the entire bout - with Bayley tying Belair’s
hair to the ropes, and then a chair, before Belair tied her own hair to Bayley to whip
her like a government mule.
There was even a nice call back to last year’s Hell in a Cell where Bayley couldn’t tape
together two kendo sticks.
So like SmackDown in 2009, this time her kendo stick came pre-taped!
The finish saw Belair wickedly give the KOD onto a ladder for the win, which should set
her up for a Sasha Banks rematch at Summerslam.
Alexa Bliss cut a spooky promo, then we got a WrestleMania rematch of Seth Rollins vs.
Cesaro.
When this was announced over the weekend, I did give out a bit of a groan.
Nothing against Rollins and Cesaro, but I saw this match at WrestleMania.
I also saw this match on SmackDown.
Both were great, but I’m also ready to not watch a match I’ve seen a multiple times
already.
But like the fickle fan I am, as soon as the bell rang I didn’t really mind because they
had a really good match.
I don’t think it was quite as good as their previous matches, even though Cesaro hit a
Rainmaker.
Okada to WWE confirmed!
And the finish saw Seth Rollins win, so this feud must continue.
We then got an advert for Peacock that featured Ghostbusters so this is the best WWE PPV ever.
I only mention this so I can show off my Ghostbusters game on the ZX Spectrum I got off ebay last
week.
And also, because I don’t really want to talk about the next match.
Right.
So, the Alexa Bliss stuff on Raw has been divisive to say the least.
There are those who are quite willing to get behind it, and will happily look past silly
nonsense like Lily in the mirror because they’re into it so much.
I totally get that, I do it all the time.
But there are those who also think this is the worst stuff on Raw, a show that is filled
with terrible stuff.
And because I fall into the latter category of those two, I was probably pre-dispositioned
not to enjoy Alexa Bliss vs. Shayna Baszler.
But what really boils my piss, however, is that two weeks after being attacked by a puppet
in a mirror that has magical powers, Shayna Baszler just did her regular entrance like
nothing strange was going on.
If Baszler isn’t selling the fear of facing Bliss, why should I buy into the spooky scary
things she does?
From a technical point of view, this was one of the better Bliss matches in a long ass
time, because it was focused on actual wrestling rather than dropping lights from the sky or
changing costume mid match or some other silly nonsense.
The more aggressive Bliss was a lot more fun to watch, as was Baszler who felt like the
Shayna of old before she fell into this awful Nia Jax tag team.
But then…
Baszler failed a wisdom saving throw and therefore broke a hold she had on Bliss because Alexa
used mind powers.
She then used those mind powers on Nia Jax on the outside to make her slap Regionald.
Bliss then escapes the Kirafuda Clutch and hit Twisted Bliss for the win.
Pff, yeah?
I guess?
Look the people who are into this will like this match, and it won’t have done anything
to change the minds of those who weren’t.
It’s just more Bliss spooky stuff, and I feel sorry for Bray Wyatt.
We then had a WrestleMania rematch of Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn, or as one comment put
it in our livestream, WWE’s “break glass in case of emergency” match.
Like Cesaro vs. Rollins, the announcement of a match I’ve seen a bunch in the last
few months didn’t fill me with excitement, but the bell rang and it was a predictably
good match.
But also like Rollins and Cesaro, it didn’t feel like it mattered.
I’ve seen the good guy win, and embarrass the celebrity involvement.
So Sami winning here is just…
I don’t know?
This feud must continue I guess?
It was a good, physical match, but it was just there.
And it hasn’t changed the storyline or dynamic between them.
And now we’ll just get it a bunch more times.
So far this show has just been bland.
Fifty shades of beige.
Thankfully, the next two matches featured terrible finishes to anger fans.
Great!
First up was a WrestleMania 36 rematch and 2/3s of a WrestleMania Backlash rematch between
Charlotte Flair and Rhea Ripley.
I have no idea how, but the fact that these two had the best in-ring match of WrestleMania
last year, and Flair went down to NXT and took that title away from Ripley has no bearing
on their current feud, and the video package beforehand didn’t touch on the Nikki Cross
stuff either.
Which begs the question, what’s the point in anything?
And - predictably - these two had a really good match and it really felt like it could
have gone either way.
Flair escaped the Riptide pin by getting her foot on the ropes, Ripley survived the Figure
Four after being kicked into the steps.
It was all building to a really good conclusion, and then Ripley got herself DQ’d by doing
something loads of people have done in loads of matches throughout WWE history - she hit
Flair with that plastic bit on top of the announcer’s table.
It was all….
Lame.
Like, really lame.
It even made Larson swear, like a lot!
It’s a terrible finish designed to “protect” both of them but actually doesn’t get anyone
over - not helped by Ripley then laying Flair out after the match with the Riptide.
No one got anything from this match.
And because they’ll just do it again next month and maybe even again at Summerslam,
this was a total waste of time.
And the main event was a WrestleMania rematch, a Raw rematch, and a 2/3s of a WrestleMania
Backlash rematch, Bobby Lashley vs. Drew McIntyre.
These two killed each other inside the cell, both battered, bloodied and bruised.
It was well on its way to being easily the match of the night, and then MVP caused a
distraction and Bobby Lashley rolled up Drew and hooked the tights to get the win.
Bobby Lashley - the man WWE have been protecting and calling The Almighty - won by cheating.
It didn’t make sense for Bobby’s character, it made Drew look rubbish, it totally undermines
the point of the Cell, and it’s a terrible way to end a PPV.
This was a bad, bad ending.
And it’s a shame because the match was really good leading up into it.
But really, this PPV was nothing.
There was no emotional significance in many of the matches, most of which were repeats
of matches we’ve seen from the last couple of months.
WWE are just playing it safe right now.
There was a report over the weekend that Vince McMahan knows the product is stale, but they’re
holding off on big things until fans come back.
But as I predicted on the Raw podcast three weeks ago, that means that Raw, Smackdown
and PPVs are just time wasters.
Contractual obligations.
The company is spinning its wheels and nothing is moving forward.
So while the in-ring action was good - and often times it was great - ultimately Hell
in a Cell 2021 meant bugger all.
So I don’t know?
2 out 5?
3 out of 5?
It doesn’t really matter.