- If you have a child who's always looking
for another book to read, that can be encouraging,
and challenging.
Let's talk about it.
(upbeat music)
Welcome to the Simply Charlotte Mason Podcast,
I'm Sonya Shafer.
I think almost all of us who use the Charlotte Mason Method
have a desire to see our children love to read.
We know how much richness good books can add
to our thoughts and our lives,
and we want our children to experience that, too.
So on one hand, when we see one of our children
eager to read and always looking for another book
to get his hands on, we rejoice.
But on the other hand,
having a voracious reader can present some challenges.
Let's discuss those challenges and some ideas to help.
I've asked my friends, Laura Pitney and Jenn Faas,
to add their thoughts to this discussion.
Welcome you guys, thanks for joining me.
- Thanks for having us.
- Here is the question, as one mom described it,
here's her challenge.
She said, what about when a child reads voraciously
on his own at a rate that I can no longer pre-screen
or skim everything before he devours it?
So far, not a problem.
He likes to tell me excerpts,
and if we run into anything questionable, we chat about it,
but unless he brings it to me,
I may not know the idea he's encountered
that he innocently thinks is normal,
because he read it in a book.
- That's a great question. - It is, it is.
We don't know how old this child is,
so we might need to kind of discuss in general terms,
but how have you handled making sure
the books that your children get their hands on are good?
- The first thing that comes to my mind,
is I feel like that question
we can all relate to because I think
there's a little bit of fear for us.
Here we are deciding to homeschool,
and invest in our children,
and what if we expose them to something
they're not ready for,
or we're not there holding their hand?
So I feel like the root of that question
kind of is summed in that,
that we want the best for them,
and so in the world of literature,
at some point it's kind of no longer in our control,
and so there's some fear from the parent's perspective
of how to handle that.
And I know for me, literature is something I struggle with
because I was not a strong reader as a young adult,
and so I am just now growing into that myself.
And so to have a child that loves to read,
which I do have one of those,
has kind of revealed some of my own securities,
because I think it's great and I want her to thrive in it
but it kinda scares me too,
because I haven't read these books before,
because they're new to me as well,
and so to have a trusted friend who's a good reader,
it's great to be able to toss around ideas
or ask about just for me personally,
to have a good source that I can turn to
as like a book review type person, if you will.
So Jenn's kind of my go-to,
also, 'cause she has older children
that have read the books,
but for my children are coming along--
- It's so helpful. - Yeah, for me,
it's having that person that if I'm not on my A-game,
pre-reading, which I'm not hardly ever (laughs)
it's good to have a good friend
that is in kinda in the same boat,
where your community of is this book good or not,
that kind of thing?
- What about you, Jenn?
- Well, I would definitely agree
that I have always loved to read.
That's just always been a part of my life.
The problem for me and my background
is I wasn't always reading the right books
that maybe I would want my children reading now,
and that has really come with living
this Charlotte Mason lifestyle for a long time.
I feel like not only is this education for our children,
but wanting our kids to read these good books,
it plays a role for us as well.
- Definitely. - And so my oldest is 18,
so I have had, you know, I've been at this for awhile,
and I also have some other friends,
and we have some other friends in our community
that have older kids than my oldest,
and so that definitely is helpful,
seeing what they're reading.
But my oldest is a voracious reader,
and we would get books from the library,
and she would start reading them on the way home, in the car
and so we were just going through them so quickly.
And I, like this mom,
I knew that I had a problem on my hands
that I needed to kind of think about and get a solution for,
and so one of the very first things that I did,
once upon a time, was I got a book,
because again I didn't trust myself.
I knew that some of the books
that I really was going through when I was younger
are not the kind of books that,
especially in that middle school time period, I guess.
- It's different when we're reading it for ourself,
and then if we're reading it for our children.
- Or you remember it differently.
You only remember the good parts,
and you forget, oh, I forgot that was in there!
And after a few of those surprises, you say, ooh,
this, I can't rely on my memory.
- Or so many of the mainstream books or series
that are out there may not be the best literature
that you want your children reading.
And I definitely think, I have heard the argument of,
well, at least my children are reading.
And I really strongly disagree with that.
- Thank you. - I really, really disagree
with that, because I think it really does matter
what they are reading, so it's not as long
as they're reading it's good.
And once you set the bar for the type of reading
that they're spending their time in,
it's very hard to up the bar, I guess,
does that make any sense?
It's very hard to raise the bar.
And so when my oldest was fairly young,
when she was really starting to read on her own,
I got a book that I could physically take
to the library with me that had lists of good books.
It was a book with lists of good books,
and there are so many of those out there now.
- I brought-- - And you brought--
- Them in, and show some. - I did, I brought some.
- Go ahead and show some.
- Okay, so this was the first book that I got.
- Books Children Love. - Books Children Love.
- By Elizabeth Wilson. - Yes, and this was
a fantastic book.
The only disclaimer with this would be,
a lot of these books are out of print,
but oftentimes at your library,
they do have books that are out of print.
So this was the first one that I had,
and I would just take it with me to the library.
- I did too. - And I would just sit
in the children's section and Delaney and I would open up,
you know, would open up this,
and we start searching for authors,
and some of 'em we would find and some of them we wouldn't.
- I find this really funny, because,
y'all are so likeminded.
When the kids and I, when my kids got old enough
to do the library trips,
I had to ask the librarian to show me how to do the library.
Like, how to find! (they all laugh)
It had been so long since I had really been in a library.
Because I wanted to teach them, okay,
this is the author, this is the type of book,
so how do we find it on all these shelves?
I was like, can you give us a little tutorial?
- No, that's a good idea.
I bet the librarian loved showing them.
- I just feel like-- - Well, you know what?
- Y'all are really good. - No, so fast forward
many years, Delaney just took a dual-enrollment class,
an English 1101 class, and one class period,
they spent in the university library
having a tutorial on various things.
Doing research, yeah. - I'll take it. (laughs)
- So what are the other books that you would use?
- Okay, so some of the other ones
are Honey for a Child's Heart,
and as the children get older,
there is a Honey for Teen's Heart,
and there's also Honey for a Woman's Heart, I believe?
- And Gladys Hunt is the editor of that one,
and she also did this one called Read For Your Life,
and it is turning teens into readers,
so it's more than just the book lists,
but there are a bunch of books in the end of it.
And what I like about these is it's not just
here's the title but it's almost a review,
and it'll give you some heads up
if there's something that you might need to know about.
A couple other resources that I've used
along the same lines are Jen Blume's
Who Should We Then Read?
These, she gives a short biography of different good authors
and then she just lists all the books
that they've written.
So it doesn't necessarily have a review for every title,
but it really helps you find the good authors.
And she has two volumes of this,
and someone borrowed my other volume,
so whoever it is, you know who you are!
(they laugh) Give it back.
And then another one that long, long ago,
and this book is probably almost 30 years old now, I think.
I got it when my oldest was little, tiny,
Educating the WholeHearted Child by Sally Clarkson,
but in the back of this one it gives their favorite books
for the different age levels as well.
Their family's favorite books.
- And now her daughter, and I forgot that one.
- Oh yeah, Sarah. - Her daughter has
another book of booklists out now.
- Those are so helpful. - They're more updated.
- 'Cause I mean, you can find,
you can find book lists on Amazon and wherever,
but they're not from trusted people who share your values,
and I think that's what this lady's question is all about.
How do I filter the values and the ideas
that are coming in through the books
and make sure that I'm giving my child good ones?
So yes, those are very helpful.
- And so then I would say beyond the books
with the book lists, there are,
in the Charlotte Mason world,
there are many different curriculum
lists that are out there. - Yes, yes.
- And so you don't have to buy a certain curriculum,
but you can look at their book lists,
on the Simply Charlotte Mason website,
there are book lists for the different ages,
and there are many different websites that you can look at
that use the Charlotte Mason Method
that have very trusted book lists there, too, so.
- I also think that part of that question that I'm hearing
is, okay, let's say our child is this great reader,
and they come across something
that maybe they have a question about,
or they think, you know what?
This isn't aligning with what my mom or dad say
about something, you know,
for that child to recognize the things,
which is ultimately what we want.
We want them to become their own filter,
but there should be that habit of good communication
between us as teachers and our children as students
so that not only are we talking about
the great things and the exciting things
and the plots and the endings, but,
we're also comfortable talking about the hard things,
and ultimately that's why we want them to read
is so that they can be exposed and learn
and these ideas can grow.
That way when things happen in their life that are similar,
they can draw strengths from the characters
and the plots that they are familiar with from the books.
So I see that too as, she understands,
the child is this great reader,
but also how do I navigate it when we need to talk
about something? - Right.
- So I think there's a lot of good in
giving them the right books and the right resources,
and us being responsible to make sure
we're feeding them the correct books,
but I think there's a deeper level of,
is the communication in the relationship with that child
to be able to still talk about the good and the bad?
- Definitely, yes, you have to have your hearts
turned toward each other,
and it's not just discussions on books.
- Right. - You're laying
that foundation on discussions on everything,
and I can understand as you said, there's that fear of,
well, what if they pick up this incorrect idea, a lie?
What if they just innocently think it's true?
But the truth of the matter is,
you cannot control everything that your child sees,
or hears, or reads.
You cannot control it.
And that's a scary thought.
At some point, it hits you,
but now that my kids are grown,
I can kind of look back on it,
because now I'm really not controlling what they're seeing.
They're all out of the house, what do I do now?
But I can look back on it and say okay,
there's a transition that has to happen as they get older,
that they need to take, our pastor usually says,
as the kids grow up they have this box around them
that these are the boundaries,
but as they get older, that box needs to be inside them.
That these are the core beliefs,
this is what I adhere to,
so they can then filter those things for themselves,
as you said.
And I think we're doing our children a disservice
if we continue to shelter them and isolate them
and insulate them all the way up to graduation,
and then say, okay, now you're on your own.
They're gonna have quite a shock.
- Absolutely. - Of what all's out there.
So we'll need to gradually make that transition.
But underneath it all, it's about continuing
to give them truth, continuing to discuss and study
the core beliefs,
and keeping your hearts turned toward each other.
Yes, do the best you can picking out good books
for that child, but you're gonna,
some things are gonna slip through.
- Right. - Right.
- But the main thing is if you're covering
that child in prayer.
'Cause you can't control what that child thinks,
you can't control what nestles in his heart,
but God sees the inside.
And so if you're covering that child in prayer,
I think that's gonna go a long way as well.
- Sure, sure.
- I think that gives us permission
to not be angry at ourselves
for feeling like we fall short.
So I appreciate that encouragement.
- I remember when my oldest was looking for more books.
Very voracious reader, still is,
and I just was looking at a list of classics,
and one of 'em was The Three Musketeers.
I thought, oh yeah!
I've seen the musical version of that,
with Gene Kelly, you know?
So I gave her The Three Musketeers, it's a classic,
it must be okay, and she came back to me
a little bit later.
I think she was probably maybe 10 at the time,
and she said, "mommy, this isn't a good book,"
and she gave it back to me,
just because there are a couple of episodes in there
that are more for mature readers
that would be fine now 'cause she has the filter inside her,
but at that point it wasn't the best fit.
So I think age also has something to do with it.
- Right, for sure. - As we go through it.
- I think it's definitely a process.
So, like you were saying with the box,
we're choosing those books for them,
or setting parameters.
And there were times at the library
where my kids would find another book,
and I would just sit there and look at it
and read it myself before we checked it out,
and there is a place for that, for sure.
And for making sure that you are,
you know what's in that book,
and you're laying this foundation for them,
and you're setting that bar where you want it set,
and not where the culture is saying
that the bar should be set.
And so you're giving them this wonderful foundation,
but then yes, you don't want them to go out into the world
without you to be able to kind of help them
with that transition period.
And so talking with them about, look,
these are things that you may see other kids reading,
and this is why we've chosen not to,
you know, read these books.
We did have, my oldest,
there has been a book that many people were reading,
and she had asked about it, and we avoided it for awhile,
and then at some point as she, like I said, she's 18 now,
and so I decided this was not a hill I wanted to die on,
and I told her, go ahead and read this book,
and then come back and tell me what you think.
So starting to get her to internalize,
like with the box, right?
And it was a series, and she read two or three books,
and then she stopped at some point and she said,
"I've gotten to the point where it's not okay anymore."
And she made that decision on her own.
And so I feel like, yes, at some point,
you do have to start letting them make decisions
for themselves because otherwise,
they won't be able to stand on their own two feet,
so definitely a process for sure,
and age definitely plays a role in that.
And maturity, it may not be like,
these books are okay for ages 10 and up,
but it would depend on their maturity,
and that kind of thing. - Absolutely.
And when that child comes back to you and says,
this is the decision I made, and here's why,
when it's a good choice,
it just does your heart so good, so encouraging.
- It does.
And then when you see your kids in their free time
reading William Shakespeare, and you're like, wow.
I didn't do that. - How did you do that?
- I mean, when I was in high school, so.
So yeah, it's really, it's really awesome,
so for sure. - Thanks.
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along with links to the books that we mentioned
that give you lists of good books.
Thanks for joining me, I'll see you next time.