Hey everybody.
Happy Wednesday.
And since it's Wednesday I'm on the website
katimorton.com
And I have been on there and I have answered some of your questions already.
And then I am also on youtube.
So if you asked your questions on yesterday's video.
I don't know why I do that.
Yesterday's.
That's not where it even, I think it shows below.
If you're looking on the thing.
But anyways.
If you asked your questions below yesterday's video,
I have answered some of those as well.
And if any of you,
I know there are some questions on there that I already have videos about.
So if you are concerned.
And you're like, 'Man I've asked this question twice and Kati hasn't answered it.'
I encourage all of you.
Go on youtube, put a key word,
Let's say it's like 'first appointment', or 'EMDR therapy',
And then my name.
And see if it comes up.
Because chances are, I have a lot of videos.
And I probably have answered it.
And whenever I do these FAQ's.
I know there's multiple questions.
I've tagged the specific parts of the question,
Like the key words.
So that then people can find them.
Like you.
If you're wondering.
Okay, so lets get crack a lacking.
First question says,
'Hey Kati, I was wondering why counting your calories is a bad thing,'
'If you're doing it to make sure you don't under eat or over eat.'
'It makes me feel better to know that I'm eating enough but not too much.'
'I would love to hear your thoughts. Thanks for all that you do.'
Now I thought that this was a good question.
And it also got a lot of thumbs up.
Which is something that I have told many of you on twitter, if you can like it.
If below on youtube you can give things a thumbs up.
There are ways to show and comment,
And let me know that it's another question that many of you have.
So those are all ways that you can do that.
And this one got a lot of those.
Now my thoughts on counting calories,
Are, in the early stages of our recovery.
It's okay, and I get that this person, they're saying like,
Making sure I'm not eating too much but I'm not eating too little.
But I would, as we progress,
I'm trying to choose my words wisely, as you can tell.
As we progress through recovery.
I do not believe that it's healthy for us to consistently have to count calories.
Because as we all know,
There are places and times and things.
And it's not really reliable.
And we never know.
And I want all of you,
This is what I want for all of you so badly who struggle with eating issues.
Is to be able to close your eyes.
And listen to your body.
What is it telling you?
Is it hungry?
Is it full?
Do maybe we need to sit for a minute because our emotions are high,
And then see how we feel?
I want you all to have that ability.
Because believe it or not,
We're born with it.
And it's something that our body is more than able to do.
Now obviously in recovery at the beginning stages that can be really difficult.
And it may not, we may not have the ability to do that.
But it is something we can do.
And so that is why I don't really think counting calories is a good thing at all.
It's good at the beginning.
But it's not a lifestyle.
It's not something that we should be doing.
I shouldn't be out to dinner with my husband, whom I love.
Spending time chatting, thinking how many calories are in this fetachini alfredo.
'Because I don't know, and.'
Then I'm not present.
I'm not communicating with other people.
And holidays are coming up and we never know how people made things.
And then,
I have many clients who are struggling,
With this very thought that I'm talking about right now.
Because we can't count them.
And then we freak out.
And then we have a lot of anxiety.
And cause panic attacks.
And cause us to not want to attend certain events.
And so there are things that we can do,
That I have talked about in other videos,
To prepare for situations like that.
But that's just another example of why counting calories,
Is not a long, a good long term plan.
Okay.
And if you don't agree, that's fine.
You can leave you comments below.
But those are my thoughts on it.
And that's why I don't really, I do not encourage my clients to do it.
So, that's that.
Okay, question number two,
'Hey Kati, why does it make me angry when people tell me things like,'
' 'You're looking healthier', or 'It's great that you're seeking help', etc.'
'I have a few mental health issues.'
'Depression, PTSD, and an eating disorder.'
'And it really annoys me when my therapist or other people,'
'Comment on my actions and appearance.'
'I feel like I am portraying a different image than what's actually going on inside my head.'
'Love and appreciate your videos. Thanks.'
You're very welcome.
I agree that I don't think it's appropriate.
And I actually in groups and family groups,
I make it very clear that we are never to comment on the way people look.
To say they look 'good' or 'healthy', or 'you're looking so much better'.
Because our eating disorder takes that information and turns it in to like a million,
I call that a 'complisult'.
It's a compliment with a insult in the back end.
The insult is what our brain does to it.
It turns that, what they meant as a nice thing,
Into a thousand different ways to put us down.
And, they don't understand that we have that filter.
So that's really why,
Let me make sure I'm answering the question.
'Why does it make me angry?'
So that's why that tends to make you angry.
But at the other side of kind of what I think your main question is,
Is that it feels like you're almost like faking it.
Like you're not as sick.
You don't look as sick as you are.
And a lot of people struggle with that.
Like not looking the part of what we know is going on in here.
And, honestly,
That's part of that negative voice.
And the fact that that negative voice runs our life all the time.
Is what leads us to feeling so angry.
Because it's upset.
Because we're getting help.
And we're looking healthier, and better.
And it can't allow us to absorb that.
And accept that as,
'I'm so proud of you. You're amazing and strong.'
'I know how hard this is, but you're still working on it.'
Instead it turns it into, you know,
'I'm not, I guess I'm not as sick as I thought I was.'
Or you know, 'I just don't look as sick as I am. And maybe I shouldn't be getting help.'
It turns it into all of this bullshit.
And so I would encourage you to do some negative thinking logs,
About those very comments.
So, if someone says to you,
'It's great that you're seeking help.'
What automatically comes up in your mind.
And what are we going to do to talk back to it in a positive way?
I challenge each of you.
If you find yourself getting really really frustrated with comments like this.
Know that they don't mean them that way.
And we need to find ways to argue back.
If you have to pretend it's me talking at it.
Where I would say something to the effect of,
'I am strong.'
Like I just said,
'I am so strong. I am working on this. I am proud of myself.'
'Look at all of the work I have done. I know how hard this is.'
Whatever.
If you need to pretend that it's me.
Pretend that it's me.
But talk back.
Don't let those voices ruin the good times.
And the wonderful work.
And all of the support that you have around you.
People noticing all of the positive changes you're making.
Don't let it ruin that.
Okay, question number three,
'Hey Kati, I have been struggling with depression, anxiety and self harm,'
'Since I was 13. I'm turning 19 soon.'
'Which makes me realise that I have 'lost' pretty much,'
'All of my teenage years to mental illness.'
'Because all I was trying to do at the time was functioning.'
'I'm better now thanks to medication and therapy.'
'But I can't cope with the fact that I have totally wasted my teenage years.'
'Is this a common problem, and what should I do about it?'
Now this got a lot of likes as well.
And it's also just a good question.
I hear this from a lot of clients.
Whether it's teenage years.
It's my twenties.
It's my youth.
It's my school, my college experience.
I have a client right now that's really struggling with,
'Losing her college experience'.
I would encourage you to change the way you think about this.
Now I know that that's really difficult.
But just like I said in the question before,
Like, talking back to that voice.
Because you didn't lose your teenage years.
And there is nothing to say that we can't 'act' like a teenager when we're not a teenager.
I don't have to act like I'm 31.
I can go be goofy with my girlfriends at Disney Land.
And get, you know, Minnie ears and have slurpies and hotdogs and churros,
And just have a good time.
And be a total dorky thirteen year old.
In my head.
No one can take that from you.
Nothing has been taken from you.
You haven't wasted anything.
We get to be whoever we want to be,
Whenever we want to be it.
We can have fun.
We can be serious.
I can be an adult.
Like I do on video.
I can be very serious and very adult-like, kind of.
And, you know, I can be professional.
But I can also be a goofy friend.
And I can also act, you know,
Really young.
Really old.
I can goof around with little kids.
And toddlers.
Nothing is taken.
So I would encourage you to change the way that you think about this.
And the way you tell yourself about your process.
Instead of letting the negativity run it over and say 'They're lost years',
Say 'I learnt so much about myself during those years.'
'I'm a better person because of all of that effort.'
'I understand now, and I recognise when I am struggling.'
'And I know how to reach out for help.'
Change the way that we talk to ourselves.
Not as like,
At the core of mental health issues.
That can help so many of us.
Just noticing what goes on in our head.
And thinking, 'That's some negative bullshit.'
'And I'm not going to do it today. I'm going to be positive today.'
'I'm going to be rose coloured glasses. Everything's amazing.'
And we have the mental ability to do that.
I know it's hard.
And it doesn't come automatically.
But with a little work, we can really change the way that we think about our life
And what situation we are in right now.
Okay.
I hope that helps.
And if any of you have tips and tricks about that, let us know.
Okay.
Now the journal topic.
And I have many.
And I will save those for future ones.
Because sometimes I don't get any.
And it's like, you know,
Feast or famine.
I get a bunch or none.
So I have one from yesterday that I saved for today.
And then, you know, I've had them all day on here.
That I will save for other days.
So, this says,
'Here is a journal topic for anyone who has anxiety.'
'I do this for short term problems, and long term problems.'
'Think about something that makes you anxious.'
'Like a first meeting with a therapist.'
'Write the best case scenario,'
'Now write down the worst case scenario.'
'And the most likely scenario.'
'You'll realise that most likely it's not all bad.'
'And it can calm you down a bit. Enjoy.'
And this is from Gabby from fudge perfection.
Thank you Gabby for that.
And I thought that was really cool.
And it's kind of going back to what I was just talking about.
The fact that we have the ability to kind of change the way we think about things.
And if we take some time and slow it down.
And think, 'What's the worst thing that can happen?'
Which I find myself doing that sometimes,
When I get worried or stressed or I have an interview or something.
I'm like, 'What's the worst that could happen?'
'I don't get it. Well I didn't have that before anyway. And I was just fine.'
So, finding ways to talk yourself into a more positive outlook and reduce anxiety,
Thinking about worst case.
Most likely.
Best case.
Can help us feel like we have all of the information, and it will be okay.
So thank you so much for sharing that Gabby.
I love you all.
I'll be on twitter tomorrow.
So make sure ask you ask your questions.
You never know when I'll be on looking.
And use the #KatiFAQ
Because that's how I find them on there.
I'll see you then.
Bye!
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