Neil: And so, conservation of energy tells us that with no external force,
The bowling ball will not go further than its starting point.
Nurf: If you're wrong about this, you're only gonna make my trust issues worse.
Neil: You can always trust science!
Space Kid: Oooooh!
Nurf: Oh! My beautiful face is unharmed!
Neil: And that's how it's done!
Now, let's move on to our next scientific demonstration-
Max: Wait a minute! Why are we doing this? Where's David and Gwen?
[Screaming]
Nikki: Huh?! What was that?
Nerris: A person in need!
Nurf: Sounded like it was coming from the counselor's cabin. Let's go!
Max: What the hell is going on?
Preston: Oh, good! You heard my call for help!
Nikki: You mean your girly scream?
Preston: I mean, my call for help!
Dolph: It appears David und Gwen are sick. We have been tasked with keeping them quarantined!
David: Oh, come on, kids. I'm fine! Now who wants to go identify every type of flora in the woods?
Campe- Campe-
Campe Diem!
[Screams]
Dolph: I do not feel so good...
Neil: It's spreading! Contain the pathogen!
Nurf: I'm on it!
Gwen: Oh, Max- Kids- We need you to go get medicine.
We're all out.
Nikki: Oh! I can drive into town! Lemme get at them keys-
Gwen: No.
Gwen:You gotta hurry we can't keep any food down...
Gwen: Or up.
Max: Gross.
David: Gwen? We need tissues, too. All these reused ones are pointy and painful.
Neil: If we can't get into town, we could try that questionable laboratory of Campbell's over on Spooky Island.
Max: Hm... Yeah, that place could have something. What do you think, Gwen?
(moaning)
(all scream)
Space Kid: Ah! Zombies!
Ered: Ugh. These sick dudes are harshing my vibe!
Preston: Nurf? What's that on your shoulder?
Nurf: Uh, it's obviously my sleeve -
Oh God, they got me! aaaachoo!
(moaning, glass breaks)
Neil: Holy shit!
Nurf: It's too late for me! I'll hold them off!
Tell my storyyyyy!
(Stomach growling) (Fart)
Nurf: But not this part!
♪ OOOOOOOOOH! ♪
♪ There's a place I know that's tucked away, ♪
♪ A place where you and I can stay, ♪
♪ Where we can go to laugh and play ♪
♪ And have adventures every day! ♪
♪ I know it sounds hard to believe, but guys and gals it's true ♪
♪ Camp Campbell is the place for me and you! ♪
♪ We'll swim through lakes and climb up trees, ♪
♪ Catch fish, bugs, bears, and honey bees ♪
♪ There's endless possibilities, ♪
♪ And no, that's not hyperbole! ♪
♪ Our motto's 'Campe Diem' and that means I'm telling yooooou! ♪
♪ We've got, ♪
♪ Archery, hiking, search and rescue, biking, horseback, training that'll save you from a heart attack, scuba diving, miming, keeping up with rhyming, football, limbo ♪
♪ Science, stunting, pre-cal, spaceships, treasure hunting, bomb defusal, no refusal, fantasy, circus trapeze and fights and ghosts and paints and snakes and knives and chess and dance and weights ♪
♪ It's Camp Camp! ♪
Space Kid: So, uh... You guys have been here before?
Max: Yeah, it's a long story.
Neil: We don't really want to talk about it.
Nikki: Max screamed like a girl! It was great.
Ered: Ugh, whatever. This place doesn't look that spooky.
Preston: Come on! Let's get this over with.
Max: Right. Get in, grab the medicine, get out.
Neil: Sounds simple enough. What could go wrong?
Max: There's a secret entrance right up here.
Nikki: Open sesame!
AH!
Nikki: Oops. I think I broke it?
Max: Goddammit, Nikki, this was supposed to be easy!
Preston: Now what do we do?
Neil: Maybe I can fix it?
aCHOO!
(SCREAM)
Neil: What? I'm trying to help, guys!
Preston: Kill it! Kill it with fire!
Neil: Guys, wait!
Space Kid: Aaaah! He's gonna eat my brain!
Nikki: Space Kid, no!
Max: Leave him! He's the most expendable!
Space Kid: Fair enoooooough!
Max: Man, this cold is spreading just as fast as your mom's legs on Parents' Day!
Nikki: If not faster!
Max: I guess we'll have to find another way in. There could be an entrance out here.
Nikki: Look, doors on the ground!
Max: It's a cellar entrance. This could be exactly what we need!
Max: Doesn't look like there's a way in from here.
Max: You find anything?
Nikki: Nothing but tiny little snacks.
nom
I'm really full.
Nikki: Looks like someone was already here.
(Gasp) And they left their pog collection! Jackpot!
Nikki: Yeah! Feel the wrath of my Steve Urkel slammer!
(laughing)
(laughter fades)
Why did people play this again?
Max: Come on, Nikki. This cellar obviously doesn't lead anywhere.
Nikki: Then how'd Neil get in here?
Max: What?
Neil: (moaning)
Nikki: Hi Neil! I'll trade you this Green Ranger for-
AAAAA
Nikki: (moaning)
Nikki: Max, help us.....
Max: Don't worry guys, I know exactly what to do.
Fuck that!
Nikki: Ow.
Preston: Fab-u-lous!
This is the kind of house I'll live in after my 'Hamilton, But With Jazz' musical wins all those Tonys!
Who's there?
Preston: Wait! I need to shield myself from any putrid pathogens!
Okay. Here we go.
I hope no one's...
Pooping!
Oh, good. No one's here.
Oh. I guess this deodorant fell from the...
Medicine cabinet! Of course! That's where the medicine goes!
Finally! Preston will be the hero for once! And they'll make a Lifetime movie network biopic about me!
"The Boy Who Cured": The Preston Goodplay story!
This should do the trick! Everyone will be so grateful!
(Nikki groans)
Preston: Ah! The pills do nothing!
Nooo!
Ered: Man, I need to find some clues that'll help us.
Ered: Whoa, this looks like it'll help us.
Max: Ered! Oh, thank God! Everyone's getting infected!
It even got Nikki!
Ered: That totally blows, dude, but look!
These blueprints show another way to get into the lab. There's a laundry chute that leads right to it!
For some reason.
Max: Holy crap, this is actually really helpful! How'd you find this?
Ered: Eh. When you're cool, things just... Kinda work out.
(moaning)
Ah! Preston!
Ah! Neil!
(moaning)
Max: Ah! Nikki!
Ered: Ow! Nikki! What the heck?!
Nikki: Sorry, I'm just really in character right now.
Achoo!
(all moaning)
(thud)
Max: Ered?
Are... Are you okay?
(moaning and coughing)
(Max Screams)
(Max & SK Scream)
Max: Wait! Space Kid, you're not sick?
Space Kid: Me? No, I feel pretty good. A little hungry maybe but, eh, what can you do?
Max: Perfect!
Max: Well, I guess we should be safe here for now.
Space Kid: Good thinking there, Max!
Max: Yeah, good job breaking that window. Pick yourself up so we can get to finding that lab.
Ered said something about a laundry chute...
Space Kid: Oh, that's good. My cape is getting awfully dirty.
Max: How are you not sick, Space Kid? Neil had you in his clutches!
Space Kid: I dunno either!
Ugh, pesky helmet.
Max: Space Kid, that's it! Quick, gimme your space suit!
Space Kid: My space suit? Why?
Max: So that I won't get sick!
Space Kid: But then I'll get sick.
Max: Yeah. But I won't.
Space Kid: Oh, that makes sense!
Max: Ah! No!
Space Kid: Max!
Max: Get to the laboratory! Don't screw this up, you idiot!
Space Kid: Oh no. How... How do I get out of here?
Space Kid: Nooo!
Oh boy... It's all up to me but I don't know where to go!
(Loud Growling)
Oh! Uh, sorry.
Quartermaster: Ugh, I can't get no privacy around here. (mumbling) Get out!
Space Kid: This is hopeless! All of my friends are gonna be zombies forever!
Jasper: Oh! Hey there, Space Dude!
It's not often that I get visitors here on Spooky Island!
Jasper: I wish it didn't do that...
Space Kid: Oh! Uh, hello! I'm here to save my friends. They're turning into zombies and I need to find a cure!
Jasper: Dang, that's heavy.
Space Kid: I need to find a labrador to cure them!
Jasper: A labrador? You sure you're not looking for a laboratory?
Space Kid: heh. Yeah, I'm sure.
I can see how you'd get those two confused though.
Jasper: Riight...
Well, listen I know this place like the back of my hand and...
since the only guests I usually get are creepy old people trying to get their freak on...
I'll try to help you out!
Space Kid: Oh, thank goodness!
I need all the help I can get!
There's a chute that leads to the labrador,
can you take me there?
Jasper: Man.. you have NO idea what you're talking about.
Come with me!
(magic sounds)
Space Kid: Uh...
Jasper:Oh yeah... Lets go this way!
Jasper: Well, here ya go, my bro-mide! this should take you straight down to the lab.
Space Kid: But... It's a square hole! And I have a round head!
That won't work...
Jasper: Take your chrome-dome off, you big goof!
You'll fit no problem-o!
Space Kid: But..my helmet's the only thing keeping me from getting sick like my friends!
Don't wig out on me man, there aren't any sick people around here!
(Moaning)
Space Kid: Ah!
Jasper: Oh boy...
Okay... look... you're looking for MEDICINE.
Penicillin, antibiotics, pills!
You know what pills look like, right?
Space Kid: Uh yeah, b-but are you sure it's not--
Jasper: IT'S NOT A DOG! GET OUT OF HERE!
Space Kid: Come with me, we can both escape!
Jasper: No can do, amigo.
I'm cursed to be confined to this island for the rest of time.
Well, that is until my physical body can find peace in the living realm, anyway
Space Kid: K.
(moaning)
Space Kid: I'll never forget you...whatever your name is!
(moaning and coughing)
Space Kid: AAAH
(thud)
Space Kid: Woah... Science stuff...
Are you medicine?
Any medicine under here?
None of this stuff is going to help anyone!
Space Kid: Haley's comet! thats it!
(moaning)
Space Kid: OH NO THEY'RE GONNA GET ME!
Nikki: Chomp!
Space Kid: Thats right! The Conversation of Allergies!
They can't get me from there!
Now theres only one thing left to do!
David: Great work curing us all of our illness, Space Kid!
Max: Yeah, to be honest, I thought we were all doomed when it was just YOU left.
But somehow, you managed to pull it off!
Gwen: And, as your reward...
You won't be cleaning up the bathrooms after what the rest of us did to them.
Nerf: I SAID I WAS SORRY.
David: THREE CHEERS FOR SPACE KID!
All: HIP-HIP HOORAY! HIP-HIP HOORAY! HIP-HIP HOORAY!
Space Kid: Aww, thanks everyone! I guess its just that I'm so smart at science and finding medicine, huh?
aCHOO!
(gasp)
Space Kid: Uh oh... I don't feel so good...
David: Oh no! Space Kid's sick now!
And we're all out of medicine! What do we do?
Max: I mean... he IS wearing a suit. He can't get us sick.