Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World
'What the hell is this?'
The exact relationship between 1978's Message From Space and Star Wars is an interesting one
The story is based on Japanese mythology but was retrofitted into a Star Wars cash-in
'Hey, what a cool idea, I like it a lot'
complete with planet destroying space station
'I'll destroy the moon.'
trench based climax
'Zero, watch out!'
and a cantina scene
with added robo-cleavage
plus music that could not sound more John Williams.
These are relatively small thefts when you consider how much Lucas borrowed from Kurosawa and Samurai lore
'Forgive our sins'
More interesting is that there is stuff in Message from Space that pre-empts the yet to-be-shot sequels,
like the emperor
'As long as we are masters of a great fortress.'
and Japanese the Hutt
'You guys better have that money in half an hour, if you're one second late you're gonna end up in quicksand'
Coincidence? Yes probably.
Point is, you can't condemn a film for borrowing from one that is itself well known for borrowing
'So just get off my back'
You can condemn a film for its dialogue
'A nut inside a tomato'
its incomprehensible plot
'I know... it's hard to understand'
and people swimming in space.
You could also point out that this is set in a distant future where humans roam the galaxy
'They don't call me Kamakazi for nothing!'
and yet cars still roam the earth
and people talk as if they're in a 1930s gangster movie.
'Do that and the fuzz will know we've horsing around in a prohibited area.
In fairness, words like fuzz are the fault of whoever dubbed it,
'It's the space patrol!'
as is the tendency to add 'space' in front of everything
'Those are space fire flies'
'Veva2 get good deal in space thrift shop'
'They were probably attacked by space pirates'
But I can't imagine the heroes are much more bearable in their own language
'It's a message, we've all been chosen and we've got to work together'
I don't want to get too much into the plot because we haven't got all day but 8 magic walnuts
have been sent out to find 8 heroes who will save the Jellucian people
'I don't understand what this means'
and they do find a warrior
'I will join your mission'
and a general
'Once more into the breach!'
but they also find the general's robot, who was coming anyway
'Hooray hooray hooray'
and the Princess's bodyguard,
after he's betrayed them.
'I will kill you, I will not let you do it!'
And on his death bed.
'See, you are the 8th chosen one.'
But worst of all are four irritating teen racers who say things like
'Shut up man, we obey our own code'
And I'm not the only one baffled by this
'What I don't understand is why your god and these magical liabe seeds picked them'
They actually betray the people they're supposed to help
and why?
'I want some money'
this is what happens when you entrust your future to seeds!
'You must be out of your mind'
it's a plot device, only slightly more sophisticated than Jack and the beanstalk and frankly,
they'd have been better off trading the nuts for a cow
'I hate you all'
To bring it back to Star Wars, this is like having four Jar Jar binkes
and then being told repeatedly that they're cool
'I don't give a damn what you say, I just like flying free if it's alright with you'
The Force is weak with this one.
'You're probably right'
These aliens sent out magic walnuts, but let us know what would be your message sent into space.
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'No more booze, no more booze.'