♪ Zack Morris is Trash ♪
(bell rings)
- [Narrator] Zack Morris is studying?
Don't see that everyday.
Zack is cracking his first book
as he needs a B on the midterm to go ski with his dad.
Everyone laughs in his dumb face,
since he's incapable of average achievements.
Instead of joining the class review,
Zack gets a great idea.
In Sweden they give grades
before exams.
- Usually a B.
- [Narrator] So students can be relaxed for exams,
a lie that makes no sense.
Ms. Bliss tells the class about her Ms. Bliss challenge,
the team that scores highest on her quiz bowl midterm review
wins cool shirts and pizza.
Because of these innovative teaching methods
Ms. Bliss is nominated for School Day Magazine's
Teacher of the Year.
She's got it in the bag.
Zack is setting one of his signature mope traps
to fish for Screech's hallway sympathy.
He needs help postponing the midterm
so he has more time to not study for that B.
- The one time I need you.
- The last time you said that to me
I ended up on a bus wearing nothing but my boxer shorts.
- [Narrator] What the fuck?
Zack wants to unleash Screech's beloved pet rats in school
so it gets shut down,
delaying every midterm so he can ski.
Screech refuses until Zack dangles a promise
of a double date with twins, total fiction.
Zack saunters over to see if Screech set
his plague of rodents free.
Screech is in spiritual free fall
after going along with Zack's bidding.
Lisa saw a rat in the bathroom.
Screech is in pain.
Zack tells her to go report it.
Someone took a bite of Mikey's Twinkie.
Zack says it looks like the work of a rat.
If anyone knows rat work,
it's Zack Morris.
Zack kicks his domestic terror campaign into full gear.
He commends Ms. Paladrino for keeping her cool
with all these rats running around.
Zack savors his fear mongering.
Mylo's ready to serve these tiny guests
so Louisville justice.
Is this a catch and release operation?
Uh-uh,
extermination.
Screech is paralyzed,
having sentenced his friends to get their brains bashed in.
School Day Magazine is here to interview Ms. Bliss.
She details how much she cares about her students
and she takes every opportunity to nurture their success.
Mylo interrupts,
Belding we have a problem.
Belding announces,
due to rat infestation
school is canceled for a week.
Zack celebrates while Screech is distraught
over the imminent, violent demise of his furry pals.
Zack, not listening, puts on his cool guy shades.
Jesus Christ.
Zack hears Ms. Bliss won't get Teacher of the Year
since her interviewer needs to observe her teaching
and can't reschedule.
Zack hogs the middle of the stairs like a selfish pee hole.
He's shocked his actions have consequences,
and confesses his bubonic plot.
Nikki scolds him for thinking an extra week
of dicking around would make any difference
and guilts him into coming clean.
Zack sulks away to do the unthinkable act
of telling the truth.
Ms. Paladrino checks in on Ms. Bliss,
who is devastated her hard earned moment
of finally being recognized
for an otherwise thankless career was robbed.
She cries out to God.
Enter Satan.
Screech is a wreck, facing this heat.
Zack has zero remorse or empathy.
School is back on tomorrow,
but if they want their detention reduced,
they need to be good students,
and help Ms. Bliss win.
Zack ignores this,
and when Ms. Bliss starts her trivia challenge,
loudly mocks her.
Zack is dead weight dragging his team down.
No surprise there.
When he finally dings in,
showboats down to the buzzer on a softball question.
As the interviewer arrives
Zack signals everyone to overact,
then shoots a creepy smile that sends her scooting.
Now, instead of answering questions,
all the class is doing is transparently kissing major butt.
Zack is giving banal speeches for orchestrated applause.
Zack pats the interviewer, much to her horror,
like that will help.
- Never touch me again.
- [Narrator] Not the first or last time
Zack will hear those words.
Ms. Bliss stops the madness.
This visitor is distracting from their review
and needs to leave.
She won't be able to reschedule her observation.
Ms. Bliss is fine with that and sends her off.
Her students come first.
Zack revels in a B on an eighth grade midterm
like he just got into MENSA,
and thanks Nikki who carried his ass to that B.
He caps off his thank you with more cool guys shades.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Ms. Bliss won Teacher of the Year,
no thanks to Zack.
Let's review.
Zack Morris pissed away study time,
then falsely promised female proximity to coerce Screech
into rodent based terrorism,
so he could delay a midterm he'd still fail later
to go skiing,
and never cared or considered this would end in slaughter!
When his scheme crushed a selfless educator
still had to be pressured into doing what was right.
Then did everything that's wrong
and almost cost her the award,
and had to be dragged to achieve
his comically attainable grade!
Zack Morris is trash.
♪ Zack Morris is trash ♪
(bell rings)