Jory: (in Australian accent throughout intro) Aw, crikey, mates, I'm Jory Caron! And this is "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?"
Incidentally today's International Recognition Day. So, today, we're just choosing the Aussie accent, and we're brutalizing it, mates!
Today, we're doing Goop Cleaner, 'cause we've got some goop inside of Helga. Goop inside her, goop inside her! (through fit of laughter) This doesn't even make any sense!
Jory: Is it a good idea to microwave this?
Let's find out! Here at the Jory Caron Laboratory, safety is our number-one concern. That's why we hide behind this giant tin foil shield. It's to protect our nuts, because nobody likes roasted nuts!
We also have these masks and goggles, to protect our other...
Jon: They're really just for looks!
Jory: Yeah, they're pretty much just for looks.
We also have these fans, to circulate the air, and the GE microwave.
Jon: Awesome!
Jory: It IS awesome! But don't keep looking at it- she's mine!
Jory: Okay, so in goes this Goop Cleaner. And, as you can see, the microwave really does need some Goop Cleaner.
Jon: What does it say on the side of this Goop Cleaner?
Jon: I think you should let us know what it says here.
Jory: It's non-toxic!
Jon: Non-toxic, but what does it say right after that?
Jory: It doesn't matter! It's non-toxic!
Jon: I think it says: "Do not inhale!"
Jory: It's okay- it's non-toxic!
Jon: Non-toxic, folks! That means it IS okay to inhale!
That means it's perfectly okay... I'm gonna go ahead and say three minutes.
Jon: Okay!
Jory: It's definitely Goop Cleaner, it's definitely goop. I just expect it to kind of sit there and bubble. There is a lot of it, so i'tll probably take awhile.
Jory: I wanna say it's almost like Crisco and it's melting down, but I can't say that, because I'm not sure. And it's my job to report the news!
Jory: Oh! It's bubbling. It is definitely bubbling.
Jon: Uh-oh! The Goop boiling temperature has been reached. It reminds me of that goop, the James Bond film.
Jory: Oh, it just spilled over. It IS like a volcano.
Jory: It's almost like detergent right now.
Jon: And we're done!
Jory: You might be thinking, "It's orange-scented, so it must smell good." It smells like a mixture between the orange scent you find in a dentist's office...
Jon: And a stale orange juice container.
Jory: You paint a very good picture once again, Jon.
Jon: I am the painter!
Jory: You are a Picasso of your descriptions.
Jon: I really am! It's a talent, it's a talent for radio!
Jon: Oh, there you go! That's non-toxic, that's what that is. That is not toxic. Regardless, I'm not a big fan of whatever that is!
Jon: You've got a pretty big pool in the microwave there.
Jory: It's pretty good at removing the stuff on top of this microwave here.
Jon: Really?
Jory: Yeah.
Jon: The Goop Cleaner actually goop cleans!
Jory: And it cleans pretty well.
Jon: The Goop Cleaner, the only thing powerful enough to clean up Jory's messes! That is probably the strongest endorsement I could possibly give you.
Jory: That's a good point.
Jon: Look at that- it just comes right off!
Jon: The power of oxygen! Oh, wait- wrong product...
Jory: Yeah... (in Billy Mays voice) Billy Mays here!
Jon: Deep inside Lacey, we see the streaks of the goop mess.
Jory: You may be wondering, is it a good idea to microwave Goop Cleaner?
Jon: I don't know.
Jory: I'm gonna say "yes."
Jon: Alright! And it goes in the "good idea box"!
Jory: Why is it a good idea, you ask? Well, before, you didn't know the consistency. It wasn't that pliable. Like, you really had to, like... (makes farting noise)
Jon: You really did!
Jory: That's the sound it would make! Now? It flows, it flows quite perfectly.
Jon: It's very delicious! It's like maple syrup, except it cleans.
Jory: So, that's it for "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" I'm your host, Jory Caron. And now, my gloves are so slippery, I can't take them off... Yay!
*end credits play*
Jon: I'm not touching those, I'm not touching those! Figure it out yourself!
Jory: I can't! I seriously can't take them off.