(APPLAUSE) OF COURSE, I HAD MY OWN LIVE
POST-SUPERBOWL SHOW.
YOU GUYS WATCH IT?
(APPLAUSE) HAD A GOOD TIME, RIGHT?
KIND OF EXCITING TO DO A LIVE SHOW.
>> RIGHT.
USUALLY, I PERFORM THE SHOW DEAD INSIDE.
LAST NIGHT, I BROUGHT YOU SOME OF THE MOST OVER-THE-TOP
TOUCHDOWN CELEBRATIONS OF THE YEAR, FROM HINGLE MCCRINGLEBERRY
AND HIS TEAMMATE KIMBLE MATHIAS.
I LIKE THAT MATHIAS.
I LOVE THAT YOUNG KID.
HE'S GOT THE HEART OF BARRY SANDERS AND THE LEGS OF BERNIE
SANDERS.
(LAUGHTER) WELL, THANKS TO SPORTS
JOURNALISTS KEY AND PEELE, WE WERE ABLE TO UNCOVER EVEN MORE
FOOTAGE OF THESE TWO.
YOU ALL WANT TO SEE THEM?
(CHEERING) JIM, LET'S GO TO THE TAPE.
>> WELCOME BACK TO THE SPORTS CHANNEL NETWORK WHERE TODAY THE
CANT SPARTANS FACE THE PORTLAND TIGERS.
>> TIGERS, THIRD AND 15.
PLAY ACTION FAKE.
HE'S GOT TO FIRE ONE.
McCRINGLEBERRY, TOUCHDOWN TIGER.
BEEN A BIG DAY FOR McCRINGLEBERRY AND YOU KNOW
THIS MAN'S GOING TO CELEBRATE.
>> HE NEEDS TO WATCH IT.
THE REF HAS HIS LIMITS.
>> ONLY TWO HIP THRUSTS ALLOWED IN THE END ZONE.
ONE, TWO -- LOOKS LIKE WE'RE SAFE.
AND THREE AND THERE'S THE FLAGS.
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S THINKING, DICK.
WHY CAN'T WE LOVE EACH OTHER?
>> FIRST AND TEN, HANDOFF MATHIAS SWEEPING ON THE END,
IT'S A REVERSE.
MATHIAS DOWN AGAIN, McCRINGLEBERRY.
TOUCHDOWN TIGERS, ANOTHER BIG PLAY FOR McCRINGLEBERRY.
HE'S ON FIRE TODAY.
MATHIAS IS ON THE GROUND IN THE END ZONE NOW.
IS HE INJURED?
>> APPARENTLY NOT.
McCRINGLEBERRY IS CELEBRATING BY PLAYING SUPERMAN ON MATHIAS'
FEET.
WHAT KID DOESN'T LOVE THAT?
>> NO WHISTLE ON THE INTRAISMGHTS GOOD NEWS FOR THE
TIGERS.
WHAT IS GOING ON WITH MATHIAS' SLEEVES?
>> McCRINGLEBERRY -- FLAG ON THE CELEBRATION.
WHAT WOULD YOU CALL THOSE, MARIACHI SLEEVES?
>> SEEM MORE CAY RIBBIAN.
THEY ARE FESTIVE.
I TOOK THE KIDS TO HAITI ON CHRISTMAS BREAK.
GOT ON THE WRONG BOAT, HIJACKED -- McCRINGLEBERRY
DRIVES IN THE END ZONE, TOUCHDOWN.
A KEY PLAY FOR HIM AND HE'LL CELEBRATE WITH HIS TEAMMATES.
SPIKES THE BALL.
NOW, OH, ONE HIP THRUST, THAT'S TWO.
HE'S GOT TO WATCH IT.
THE REF IS DISPLEASED, ALREADY.
WHAT'S THIS?
THE REF SEEMS TO HAVE LOST TRACK OF McCRINGLEBERRY.
WANTS TO GIVE HIM A TALKING TO.
McCRINGLEBERRY NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.
HOLD ON, JIM.
SOMEONE ELSE IS COMING ON TO THE FIELD.
WHO IS THAT?
IS THAT A COACH?
IS THAT A REPORTER?
SNOW, IT'S MATHIAS, WHO, FOR SOME REASON, IS EXTREMELY TALL
RIGHT NOW!
BUT MR. 'S McCRINGLEBERRY?
>> THAT'S THE QUESTION THE REF WILL BE ASKING.
>> OH, THERE HE IS.
AND THE THIRD CALL, FLAG ON THE PLAY.
THE PLAYERS ARE NOT HAPPY WITH THAT CALL.
THEY APPEAR TO BE ARGUING.
THAT WAS TECHNICALLY MATHIAS' FIRST HIP THRUST BECAUSE TO HAVE
THE NOVELTY TRENCH COAT.
>> THE REF IS NOT BUYING IT.
I WOULD NEVER GUESS THERE WERE TWO PEOPLE IN THERE.
REALLY HAD ME FOOLED.
SECOND AND FIVE, SNAP IS GOOD.
McCRINGLEBERRY SCAMPERS DOWN THE SIDELINES.
THANKS TO STRONG TIGER BLOCKING.
>> TOUCHDOWN TIGERS.
FLAGGED FOR SUCCESS OF CELEBRATION.
GOT TO BE DISAPPOINTING.
>> JIM, I CAN'T TELL.
IS THAT AN EASEL?
>> IT IS.
PRETTY SURE PROBLEMS ARE A BIG NO-NO IN THE END ZONE.
YET THERE'S MATHIAS APPARENTLY PAINTING McCRINGLEBERRY IN A
CELEBRATORY POSE.
THAT'S INAPPROPRIATE.
>> I HAVE TO SAY, IT IS A GOOD LIKENESS.
>> I DON'T KNOW ART, BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO
AFTER YOU SCORE A TOUCHDOWN.
>> WELL...
THE REF IS TAKING CONTROL OF THE SITUATION APPARENTLY.
ONE ASSUMES HE'S GOING TO COVER UP SOME OF THE MORE
INAPPROPRIATE ASPECTS OF THAT PORTRAIT.
LET'S SEE WHAT HE'S DONE HERE.
THERE'S A FLAG ON THE PLAY.
AND ON HIS CROTCH.
THEY'RE GOING TO ARGUE, BUT THAT'S A FAIR CALL.
>> THIRD AND ONE, THE PITCH IS TO MATHIAS AND HE DROPS BACK TO
THE PASS.
IT'S DEEP FOR McCRINGLEBERRY WHO DRIVES FOR THE END ZONE.
TOUCHDOWN TIGERS!
>> McCRINGLEBERRY HAS BEEN UNSTOPPABLE ALL DAY.
>> THAT'S A HARD SPIKE BUT AT THIS POINT YOU'VE GOT TO SAY
HE'S EARNED IT.
>> WHAT'S THIS?
McCRINGLEBERRY SEEMS CONCERNED ABOUT THE BALL.
>> SENDING OUT A CHECK ON IT.
HE LOOKS WORRIED.
>> LISTENING FOR VITAL SIGNS.
ADMINISTERING MOUTH TO MOUTH.
>> HERE'S MATHIAS WITH THE DEFIBRILLATOR.
>> ALWAYS HEAR IT CONNECTED TO TRAGEDY BUT YOU HAVE TO ADMIT
IT'S A FUNNY WORD.
>> FIRM MY FIRST HEART ATTACK, THIS IS NO PICNIC FOR THE BALL
AND THE OLD PIGSKIN IS NOT RESPONDING.
>> MATHIAS IS TELLING McCRINGLEBERRY TO LET GO.
McCRINGLEBERRY CANNOT POOVE ON.
MATHIAS IS GOING TO GO AHEAD AND SLAP SOME SENSE INTO HIM.
>> SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO.
cCRINGLEBERRY IS TAKING IT HARD.
HE AND THE BALL WERE CLOSE.
THE REF IS KEEPING AN EYE ON THE SITUATION, HOLDING BACK,
RESPECTFUL OF THE MOURNING PROCESS.
>> AND MATHIAS AND McCRINGLEBERRY APPEAR TO BE
MOVING THE BALL FROM THE FIELD OF PLAY.
QUESTION IS, WHERE ARE THEY TAKING IT?
>> I'M NOT SURE, JIM, BUT...
OH, IT'S TO A MODEL SHIP AND A BABY POOL.
THEY ARE GIVING THIS BALL A VIKING FUNERAL!
WHAT A FITTING MEMORIAL FOR AN OLD FRIEND!
AND.
>> THERE'S THE VIKING SALUTE WHICH I POINT OUT THE REF STILL
HAS NOT FLAGGED.
AND THEY COULD NOT HELP THEMSELVES!
A HIP-HOP AND A FLAG.
>> THAT'S SAD FOR A MEMORIAL SERVICE TO BE MARRED IN THIS
WAY.
>> ONLY ONE HIP PUMP BUT THE REF IS NOT BACKING DOWN.
LET'S LISTEN.
>> THAT'S TWO PUMPS.
VIKING FUNERAL COUNTS FOR TWO PUMPS.
NEW RULE THIS YEAR.
MAKES SENSE.
♪ (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)