All right, So let's just get into it.
All right. We're going in. Escalators are cleaned from the top down because the worst
dirt is in the bottom.
Typical. So these pads go.
Yep. Oh, this is the dirt from people's shoes.
Help yourself to any gum, Mike.
We'll start vacuuming up any loose stuff.
All right. Any loose debris.
We'll give you the important end. Mike.
Thank you. Hey, we're rich.
What do you got? Penny.
There you go. Penny for your thoughts.
I'm thinking nobody told me just how much this job would suck.
We're going to need you to get deep in there now.
I'm going.
To. Okay.
Have you ever thought about an attachment on this thing?
Oh, yeah.
Something like that. Yeah.
It's not the tightest space I've ever been in or the crappiest, but it's definitely tight
and crappy.
I don't know if you're an attachment type guy or what.
You know.
I never say no to an attachment.
There you go.
This will change everything.
Hit me. Okay, here we go.
A clean machine is a happy machine.
Clearing out all that gunk will help this escalator work better and last longer.
I don't know how I got twisted up like this, but I'm not a great spot.
So it needs to come.
It's a bit like reaching into a giant garbage disposal with your whole body.
And it's important not to think about what would happen if somebody turned it on.
I'm trying to avoid this razor sharp piece of forged steel that's now under my scapula.
How's that.
Working? It's.
It's annoying, man.
I can't.
Well, I've never seen anybody come out of it like that before, but.
You got her? Okay.
Oh, that's your bum cap.
Yeah, that came in handy.
The soft spot on my hypothalamus right there might be exposed.
I've hit my head on lots of things over the years.
First time, though, on an escalator.
Well, you grease these pillow blocks right here.
Sure. There's one on each side here.
After cleaning off all the grime, we inject some fresh grease into the pillar box.
Okay. I'll give you that.
Okay. Thanks.
Put that there. Just so you guys can see what I'm seeing.
That little guy right there and this little guy right here, they need to hook up.
I'll turn it back on to this.
So if I can get that.
In there. It's just seated so awkwardly.
Roger, I.
Know.
Here. If you got it on there, I'll pump it.
Let me just see.
I'm going to just give it a little pump.
Okay? Why don't you put your hand on there and just hold it?
No, no, you stay there. I'll pump it like this.
Right.
We're pretty close here, but I'm okay.
Good.
Tell me when you're good.
I'm good. Good.
Who's your buddy now?
Who's in charge now?
Who's in charge of the show?
I submit. Good, Blake.
Well, I never expected that one to happen.
Well.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
I felt kind of vulnerable there.
Yeah, well.
It's a default position for me.
What do we do now?
We got to wipe this down.
Mike, I'm going to step in right behind you now.
Don't be scared.
In the pit with Scott Pumper.
Only on the Discovery Channel.
Okay, so this this is also called the turnaround here.
We'll give that a good scrape.
Then we'll wipe out these pans underneath here.
Okay. Okay. We'll get in there and get some of that residual oil out of there.
I'm going to step out now. Okay.
All right. You go ahead. Be careful in the pit without Scott Pumper.
Only on the Discovery Channel.
That white roller with the belt on it.
Yes. That is what runs your handrail.
Oh, all those hands gripping that handrail day after day, year after year, month after
month.
45,000 college kids.
Oh, God. And you know what they do with their hands?
I mean, really, what's more disgusting than a handrail on an escalator?
As a reminder, this is coming from a guy who inseminated a turkey.
Oh, damn it.
That's beyond redemption.
It's got somewhere.
It was put in in the early 90s.
Mike. So.
So what's the plan for you, Scott?
When's retirement?
I'm hoping to go, you know, at 58.
So six years, you know, and then we'll take it from there.
So but once I do pull the pin, it's going to be flip flops and whale tails.
And the reason we spent a lot of time like cleaning and turnarounds and stuff like that
is any of that residual stuff that gathers in there.
It can it can affect the ride quality.
It's funny, you never really think about ride quality with regard to an escalator, but I
mean, why wouldn't you? I mean, it's it's not a ride, I guess, like like an amusement,
right? But when you're on it, you're riding.
Yeah. And you should be comfortable and feel confident and where you're headed.
Okay? Yeah, it looks great.
Now I crawl down in that general direction and keep going.
Exactly.
Did he just sigh.
I sighed.
It's an escalator.
Sigh, Mike.
It's not.
That bad. This part of the territory.
It's a.
Hill. You're a Billy goat right now.
There's just something just futile.
Just. I mean, all I see is Greece.
That's the beauty of it.
No one else will know.
This would be very bad for this to.
Come on now. Yes, it.
Would.
So you're having those negative thoughts again?
I was.
I was having them.
Yeah, because it would be bad right now.
A place that's starting to feel like home.
Fired up. It's a challenging place to work underneath an escalator.
But the more time I spend down here, the more comfortable I get.
Okay, That sounds great.
Okay.
Maybe stuck. Might have got myself stuck.
We're going to need Crisco or.
We could send Roger to the grocery store, and.
Now we're good. This.
What is this thing do? Right here.
Would it be possible to have this removed?
We could.
But then our guard wouldn't fit.
It's an atrocious little piece of needlessly sharp metal.
It got my liver, got both kidneys, brushed a testicle just recently.
Yeah.
You really don't get concern, Mike, until you let out a guttural noise that goes with pure
pain. You know, And it's a guttural kind of.
When's the last time this job inspired that?
I would say ten years ago.
And what were the circumstances that led to the grunt?
You talked about brushing your testicle on there, right?
Well, I had one on either side.
Well, that's just standard.
And that that induces a real guttural.
If you were to recreate the sound for me, what would it be like?
It'd be a cross between a mating grizzly bear and an angry crocodile, you know?
Sure. Oh.
Man. There's a there's a futility to this, I got to tell you.
And it's it's based in the fact that I can make it better, but I can't make it good.
Sometimes good enough has to be good enough.
With your skill, you'll be able to get it.
Underneath an escalator somewhere in Minnesota.
Ah, good thing you showed up when you did.
Mike.
Yeah. Why is that?
Because if you weren't here, we'd be in there doing that.
Well, I've seen a lot of dirt, that's for sure.
And this. This really is a very, very unique and specific brand of schmutz down here.
All the stuff from people's shoes.
You know, there's gum and food and spit and hair.
I don't know how the hell it all gets in here, but it is really just a toxic
bouillabaisse of human disappointment.
That's why every day is Cinco de Mayo.
Casamigos Anejo.
It's margarita time.
Every.
Day. Every day we celebrate, huh?
All right. I'm standing by for that part of the day.
How'd you do, Mike?
It's great, man. It's great.
You could eat off the inside of this escalator.
Yeah. Cool.