Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
'Yeah, no.'
Even when it’s an American film, it’s always Japan that suffers when the giant monsters break loose.
‘This is Korea’
Oh well that’s okay then.
Now you ou probably think you recognise that guy.
‘Ask him if his name is King Kong’
But actually this is from the film Ape or A*P*E, released the same year as Dino De Laurentiis’s Kong reboot,
to which is makes a sly reference...
‘I didn’t want to wrinkle my costume Dino’
but different in many ways.
‘Now what kind of bullshit are you trying to hand me?’
For starters Ape was shot in 3D, as you may occasionally spot.
Another difference is that Ape can throw some serious shapes on the dance floor!
#Staying alive music#
Story wise Ape is similar to Kong; just your average giant gorilla of...
‘Almost 36 ft tall’
Sorry how tall?
And if he’s towering over buildings then how big is this shark?
with which he again seems to be dancing.
Also like kong, ape seems to fancy human women.
Peeping Kong.
but unlike Kong, he seems to be in with a shot.
‘Be gentle big fella’
That’s weird.
‘You slut!’
Very weird
‘Do you think that’s right?’
I really don’t think it is.
Also weird is that when the girl escapes, ape follows her.
‘The God damn monkey’s following them’
and yet they choose to hide in Seoul, the most populous city in Korea!
I think you can see where this is heading.
Oh the cardboard humanity!
But it’s alright, they’ve evacuated the city.
‘Please evacuate this area’
With one exception...
How stupid do you have to be?!
‘Are you sure this isn’t a gag?’
And that’s the problem, I’m actually not sure!
‘You gotta be kidding’
I can’t tell if this is a drama or a comedy or a drama.
‘Must everything you say be a joke?’
On the one hand, hundreds of Koreans are killed.
‘I’ve got casualties God damn it’
On the other...
On the one hand this looks almost like Sergei Eisenstein’s King Kong.
and this doesn’t...
Part of the problem is that whether it’s action adventure or action comedy,
APE is surprisingly tedious featuring the most staid scenes of model city destruction.
and the most protracted scenes of giant ape bombardment shots from final attack Lasting almost 10 minutes!
The truth is it doesn’t matter, if I can’t tell whether it’s drama or comedy then it’s obviously failed.
‘Oh shit’
If it’s a comedy, it’s the least funny one I’ve ever seen.
If it’s a drama then it the funniest I’ve ever seen.
On balance, if only because of ape’s touching death scene.
‘He was just too big for a small world like ours’
I think it’s meant to be a drama.
But I’ve been wrong before.
‘Let’s see him dance for his organ grinder now’
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