'By the time I get through with you, you will never wish I looked like my sister.'
Welcome Back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World
‘This place is like a madhouse’
Blood Freak occupies its own special corner of messed up cult weirdness.
‘Right on’
Which is good, because if it didn’t there would be absolutely no reason to watch;
the acting is catastrophic.
'We have enough trouble on these experiments without taking a murder charge'
although it’s hard to blame the actors when the dialogue is this poor.
‘You’re so big. I like muscles’
People look at the camera,
'I don't care.'
which drifts out of focus.
While the narrator keeps checking his script.
‘There’s much to… warn us all…’
and eventually breaks down in a coughing fit.
'Making our story #cough# have a happy ending. #cough#'
There are not adjectives sufficient to express the incompetence that infects every moment of this film.
‘I’ve just been insulted’
Even the screaming is just one looped scream.
But you’ve got to watch it
‘Whatever you say’
Biker Herschell goes to the aid of the stranded Angel.
‘A pretty girl with a problem – who could resist’
Who takes him to meet her sister, Ann at a drug party.
‘One little toke isn’t gonna hurt him’
Herschell resists the come ons of the hip crowd.
‘You’re nothing but a dumb bastard who doesn’t know where it’s at anyway’
Even Anna throwing herself at him won’t make him succumb.
‘I can do without thank you’
Until...
‘How can such a big hunk of man be such a dumb coward?’
'I'm not coward.'
'Deeeep. Deep. Deep. Hold it.'
But this conflicts with Herschell’s job as lab rat at a local turkey farm.
‘Experiments? What experiments?’
Basically he just has to eat turkey to make sure the chemicals they give the birds aren’t harmful to humans.
Turns out they are. In fact…
Weed and turkey don’t mix.
‘Gosh Herschell, you sure are ugly’
But they won’t affect your sex life.
'What are doing?'
#Gobble gobble#
'Ohhh, Oh my god.'
I’m really grateful that scene is just implied.
‘The way I see it, this thing is getting out of hand’
I would agree with that.
Believing that the drugs she gave him did this to Herschell, Ann sets out to feed his escalating drug habit
against the advice of her friends
‘He’s not Herschell anymore. He’s changing’
but Herschell has his own way to satisfy his addiction.
The blood of stoned girls gives him the fix he needs.
‘Interesting’
The timescale here is hard to follow;
it’s shot like it takes place over one night but an awful lot happens
and Ann is dressed differently in every scene.
‘Look guy, get off my back’
I’m pretty sure it’s meant cover a period of days,
but I have no idea what happens during those days and the longer it goes on the harder it is to buy Ann’s pragmatic approach.
‘Do you think the effects of it will wear off?’
Now Ann’s search for drugs goes bad.
I have no idea how he’s seeing Herschell outside but he runs off and...
I also have no idea how he was backing away from Herschell who is then suddenly behind him.
‘Suppose you tell me what’s happening to me’
That’s the sort of thing that happens in a dream.
'Hey, we've been looking all over for you.'
Well that actually explains the confusing timescale, locations and a man turning into turkey.
‘Who are we to judge?’
It was all a drug induced dream.
‘I was afraid of something like that happening’
I was afraid my sister would seduce him with drugs which would combine badly with tainted meat,
making him believe he was a killer turkey man who gets killed and eaten.
It just seemed inevitable.
‘You’re not going to believe this’
So, as I started by saying, this is a terrible film but you’ve got to wa- #cough#
sorry, you got wat... #cough#
'So when you take into your body any chemical or drugs, you tale a chance or reactions that are untested'
Thanks for watching. If you don't subscribe, there's a real danger of you turning into a turkey
Blood freak isn't so bad. It's good, but it is so weird
You have to watch it what other films fall into that category?