New dads are often left out of
the postpartum conversation,
a conversation that has a whole
has been taboo to talk about.
Last week, Anusha and I shared our
stories about postpartum depression
and today's it takes a village we hear
from our husbands about their journey.
Everyone always talks about being a parent
is like the most joyous thing and it is.
There's a lot of great great moments in it,
but there are also moments where
it's hard and it's. It's painful,
2 words not often used to describe this
moment in life. A lot of crying on
behalf of baby and Mom and maybe
a little bit of dad as well.
Words that are raw and honest. You can
kind of read about something you
can hear about something, but until
you experience it in that moment,
postpartum depression, a part of
both these new dads journeys.
There was definitely a time where I was
just I I I think I saw it in your eyes.
My husband Josh recognized
something wasn't right.
Before I was willing to admit
it, there was a time where I think.
I was starting to see it where you know
it wasn't as you weren't as I guess
happy as I thought I thought is OK.
It's something we've been praying for
for so long and all of a sudden like.
It hit me like Oh well,
maybe something else is going on.
I was struggling, crying and
wanting to be alone. You've
acknowledged it right then and
there and I think like you mentioned
having that vulnerability.
Helped us kind of almost grab
by the horns essentially.
And you know, realize what's going
on and kind of be there for each
other through that whole process.
You know, as a husband you just
want to support Anusha's husband.
Mihir
saw the same thing.
There were hints beforehand with kind of.
I think one thing I saw was like in
social situations that we had with
you know you my parents, her parents.
She was pretty kind of like backed off
from those and had a hard time initially.
Had a little bit of a hard time
bonding with the our song it.
It really did take kind of a moment,
a true moment for us to like
both acknowledge yeah this is
this is something we need to.
We need to talk about and address
and each of us did in our own way. Now
feeling the pool to share our journey with
others. There's there's so many
people who have come out and.
Like talk to us about this.
Ever since the new show posted
on social media, brought it up at
work and talked about it openly.
It's been really nice to have people
come up to us and say thank you and
their advice to other new dads.
Be honest with yourself and
remain a team first look.
Take a take, get a sense of how you're
feeling, and so I think one thing
that I missed was that I was feeling
similar things to inertia. It was not I.
I don't know if it was a hormonal balance and
what the Physiology of it was, but I felt.
Some of the same insecurities, some of some
of the same feelings as she did and so.
I kind of wish I had communicated
that those with her and not tried
to like project strength. Hey,
you don't have to be that strong backbone.
You can tell them how things really
are and then acknowledge that.
Hey, there are problems like let's seek help.
Realize
that you know you're on the same side.
You know things do get tough.
You know sleep, especially sleep deprivation,
all the changes going on right
you not knowing like hey,
what's going on with my partner right?
And then yeah, you mentioned it.
Like there's stuff that you go,
you know through,
as well as being a new dad.
Lots of stresses and pressures and stuff too.
And that's kind of unfortunate,
you know so many times,
everything is about the baby and then
and then it's mom and then often dad's
just aren't even in the conversation,
but they go through so much as well,
especially first time dads.
You're trying to figure out
you're sent home with this baby
without an instruction manual,
you don't know what to do.
And you're like the pillar of strength,
right? You're supposed to,
like, you know,
come off that way and and it's OK
to be vulnerable and express that
you're going through some stuff
too. Yeah, again,
I'm glad you're doing this because I'm.
I'm sure a lot of people aren't aware,
you know, when we had kids.
Such a long time ago,
it seems like it was 30 some years ago,
but I am sure if this would have happened
to us and I don't think it did, luckily,
but I'm sure I would have had no clue.
I mean, nobody talked
about it back then, we I.
I was sitting here at the desk.
We didn't do stories on it back then.
I mean it was just it was just something.
Now that isn't to say it was easy.
You know the the the shot of Josh sleeping.
Yeah that was me like every totally right.
Every new dad.
I think we were the same.
We didn't have a whole lot of problems,
at least that I noticed then.
But what I felt the weight of.
Was that I'm gonna have to
keep this kid on the straight
and narrow amount of raise it.
You know he can't be doing hard
time instead of high school.
You know, right?
And I think that responsibility
now I'm sort of responsible
for this kid before he gets on.
That's what
really weird. Yeah.
And you guys were responsible also
for making sure she was OK that
she was healing that she was.
You know, like you had all
of it on your shoulders too.
Yeah, and Corey talked about talked
with you about this before one
of my good friends went through
postpartum and she didn't know.
But she was.
She was connecting these feelings.
And went on Facebook and found a
group of women who also felt the same
feelings but didn't have a word for it,
which was postpartum.
She said she felt like she was in a cloud.
She felt like for a long time.
She just had this baby and she said
I couldn't call her my daughter,
just baby.
The bond was in there and then
when she told me like finally
I can call her my daughter.
I'm like wow and she asked her husband,
you know what was I in?
Did I have postpartum and he's like Oh yeah,
you definitely did and it's a real thing.
It's a real thing,
a real thing and and and the thing
to remember is it's a real thing.
That can be cured, right?
You know there's treatment out there,
get to acknowledge it.
You gotta, you know, ask for help.
So next week we talked to a midwife
and a pediatrician about what they
do to recognize the signs early
on and how they have seen this
conversation change in recent years,
and even how the screenings
have changed for new Mamas.
It's a whole village that's part of this now.
Now remember,
if you're in need of someone to talk to,
you can call the Colorado crisis
hotline at the number on your screen.
It's 844493 talk.
And if you're an expecting or new
mom facing mental health challenges.
There is a hotline just for you.
Moms can call or text 18339 help for moms.
Both of those numbers are on your screen.
They're both confidential and you can
speak to counselors anytime of the day.