Heya playa, we've all been there before and experienced that feeling of sadness after
getting rejected.
But, have you ever felt angry after getting rejected?
If you have don't worry, I'm going to explain why people get angry after they get rejected,
and how to deal with that anger so it doesn't end up taking over your life.
This is The Josh Speaks.
You're watching The Josh Speaks.
For those of you that are new here, my name is Josh and every single Monday through Friday
I make videos sharing tips, ideas and stories teaching you how to be your best self.
Now look, getting angry at someone after they rejected you is actually a pretty normal response
to have, especially if you really liked that person and wanted to be with them.
One of the main reasons why people tend to get angry after they've been rejected is because
in some way they feel like that other person owes them something.
And that idea of "owed something" can be broken down in a lot of different ways but on the
smallest of levels just working up the courage to go ask someone out requires a lot of mental
energy so you feel like you're investing a lot into talking to them only for them to
reject you on the other end.
You might feel like you worked really hard to get to this exact point of asking them
out and they didn't even give you a chance.
In those cases, we're so focused on what it took to get to that moment on our end without
ever thinking about what the experience is like for that other person.
Most likely they're unaware of what it actually took on your end to get to where you are.
Instead, they're probably thinking about their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences in
that moment instead of really concentrating on yours.
This is something that happens to a lot of people in the friend zone, they decide to
keep their feelings under wraps, not letting their friend know exactly how they feel so
when they finally reveal it to them, they're upset and they're angry that their friend
doesn't feel the same way because all this time they've only viewed you as a friend.
And I speak from personal experience because I was that guy in high school.
I had a huge crush on a girl that ended up friend zoning me so I continued to be her
friend, I pretended like I didn't really have feelings when all along I did and when I finally
confessed them to her, I got angry with her.
Visibly upset because she said she didn't want to go out with me.
And what I learned from that experience is that I wasn't owed anything.
She didn't have to like me back, she didn't even have to give me the time of day to confess
and open up and try to make things work.
She's her own person, I'm my own person and I had to learn to respect that.
But a lot of people who get rejected don't realize that.
They start to become jaded, especially if that rejection is something they experience
over and over.
If you're getting rejected left and right by every single person that you ask out, then
yeah you're going to feel a little angry but anger is not the problem here.
It's what you choose to do with that anger that really matters.
Just like I mentioned in the beginning of the week.
There are things you can do to make yourself a more dateable person, different things you
can work on and improve but, at the end of the day you have to realize that just because
you like someone doesn't mean that they owe you their time of day.
And trust me I get it, there's a real sense of pride that's attacked whenever you feel
rejected.
But remember, just because a person rejects you doesn't mean it's a reflection of who
you are, it's their own personal choice.
You're not the kind of person they're currently looking for and that's ok.
It really is a balance of meeting new people and growing and learning along the way if
you're stuck in the same cycle of doing the same things whenever you ask someone out you,
yeah, you're not gonna be successful because you're not learning and adapting.
So I want you to take a second and ask yourself, are you trapped in this negative space?
Do you carry beliefs like all girls care about is popularity, and fame and all those different
things and there's no chance in hell for you ever?
Do you think that all girls are shallow and all guys are players and that all the problems
you encounter are really external things weighing down on you?
If you carry any of these negative beliefs, they may be symptoms of you getting angry
from being rejected.
So, how can you turn that anger around into something positive?
Well, I think the simple solution that I keep going back to is learning from that experience
and improving.
But there's also another thing you can do once you start to feel angry in those situations
and that's simply to walk away.
You should always try your best to never allow someone else to dictate how you feel internally.
So if you find yourself getting angry or frustrated or annoyed with someone, simply take a break
from them.
Walk away, cool down, collect your thoughts and then revisit it when you feel ready to
do it.
I know, it's easier said than done but if you really want to work on your anger, I think
it's something that must be done.
What do you think though?
What are some of the feelings that you've experienced when you've felt rejected in the
past?
Leave it down in the comments section below and we'll talk about it.
Otherwise thank you so much for watching, hit the thumbs up button and if you want to
know my deeper thoughts on dealing with rejection, definitely check out my book "Embracing The
Awkward", it's available right now.
You guys can order it over on Amazon, the link is down below.
I have a whole chapter dedicated to managing and overcoming rejection so if that's something
you truly want to work on, this book is going to help you do that.
On that note guys, I'll catch you next week.
As always, love and peace.