Everything comes back to Money - Nouman Ali Khan
When we talk about raising our children
in this society.
We have to first understand what's happening
with the world.
What's happening with all of us and with the world,
before we can think about raising our children
effectively.
That's one big problem.
The second big problem is what a success mean?
This one is what is your worth?
What are you worth?
Nowadays, our children are being raised to think
all they are worth is these products:
the brand of clothes, the kind of house,
the kind of car your parents drive drop you off to school at,
the brand of the book bag you're wearing,
you know, that sort of thing, that's all you're worth.
And then on top of that,
the additional problem is,
"What does it mean to be successful?"
Our idea of success, even 20, 30, 40 years ago was,
for the Muslim, vast majority of the Muslim world.
Maybe some of you did not have a good opportunity for education,
or your parents did not have a good opportunity for education,
and they put all of their efforts
in getting you a good education.
And you've learned that lesson in your life,
so you say, "My children better have
top-notch education."
"If that means they have to go to a private school,
if that means that we have to rent a house,
rent an apartment, and live uncomfortably,
so they can get a good education. We will do it."
"If that means we have to take
an insane amount of money for loans
to put them in an Ivy League school,
and to put them into an expensive med school,
or to put them into an elite program.
We will do it."
Why?
Because the most important part of your success
is what?
Your education.
And the children here, they're told by their parents this
over, and over, and over, and over again.
"You have to have an education."
"You will be a failure in life
if you don't get a good education."
"You have to finish college, then you have to finish this, you have to finish that."
And if you're from the Indo-Pakistan continent,
obviously if you're not a physician,
then you have failed,
and you should not expect anything from this dunya,
now the only thing left for you is akhira.
Because...
And your parents will never be happy with you now,
because you're not a surgeon, or you're not... you know,
even, "Don't be a dentist, dentists are humiliating."
"Don't even bother with that, right?"
So that's what we've done.
By the way,
why is it that being a physician is
so important in a certain segment of our community,
do you know why?
Because it pays the most.
It's not because you get to save lives,
or because you're serving humanity.
That has nothing to do with it.
If doctors were paid the same salary as bus drivers,
our Desi community would not be crazy
about making their children doctors.
There is no حرص,
there is no zeal
to get our children to become saviors for the world.
No parents are so happy when their son
becomes a doctor, then he says,
"I'm going to Doctors Without Borders for 3 years."
"I'm going to serve Doctors Without Borders
and flood-ridden areas for 3 years."
"I'm going to go to Somalia,
then I'm gonna go to Pakistan, or Bangladesh,
and I'm gonna go to Malaysia,
and I'm gonna serve no salary, non-for-profit work."
These parents are going to say,
"Ya Allah, we put all this money in
to make you a doctor, and this is what you do?"
"You should have been part
of the same blood-sucking machine
that the insurance companies
and the pharmaceutical companies are a part of.
That's what we wanted you to do."
"Why are you saving lives?
What's wrong with you?"
That's what we've become.
Honestly, we have to look in the mirror.
What are we creating?
Something has fundamentally changed.
Our idea of success has become money.
Our idea of education has become a career
that makes a lot of money.
Everything comes back to money.
If you're successful it means you have a lot of money.
If you're successful, it means you have an education.
Education in what field?
A field that will give you a good career,
which means you will have good money.
That's what success is now.
Everything comes back to this.
That's it.
Now, this is different from old times.
This is different from old times.
In old times,
to have an education means to understand yourself,
to understand the world around you,
and to contribute to making the world a better place.
And to make the world a better place,
sometimes you have to study history,
sometimes you have to study sociology,
sometimes you have to study political science,
sometimes you have to study media,
sometimes you have to study journalism.
You have to study a variety of fields
to contribute to society.
Not one field.
By any measure,
the most successful communities in the United States
are the ones that did not limit their children
to one field.
One of my friends tells me,
"If Steven Spielberg was in a Pakistani household,
he would have been a doctor."
Right? He would have been a doctor.
Why? Because we don't...
"What do you mean you go to film school?
What's wrong with you?"
"Are you failing medicine?"
You know,
you're going to give your parents high blood pressure.