Brainy Dose Presents:
10 Subtle Signs Someone Is Uncomfortable Around You
Predicting what might make someone uncomfortable isn’t easy, and even realizing after you’ve
said something can be difficult, since people will always have different comfort levels
around certain topics.
When you suspect that someone isn’t feeling safe or comfortable during your conversation,
it can’t hurt to ask them - and steer the conversation elsewhere based on their response.
But if you want to improve your social interactions, paying attention to body language is essential.
It can tell you when someone feels relaxed or uncomfortable, and knowing what you did
to cause their discomfort can help you avoid making the same mistake again.
The first step in gauging someone’s body language is to know what to look for.
Here are ten signs that someone is feeling uncomfortable:
Number 1 - Flinching and Wincing
Getting caught up in an uncomfortable situation can actually cause someone to wince or flinch
slightly.
If you’ve said or done something out of line, and the person you’re with doesn’t
want you to know they’re uncomfortable, they will make these subtle gestures.
They may suddenly pull away or squint their eyes, and you might interpret it as physical
pain at first.
When you notice this nonverbal communication, think about what may have caused it.
Perhaps you will realize that it was something you said, and a quick apology can help smooth
things over.
Number 2 - Talking Faster and Gesturing
Discomfort can activate our fight-or-flight response, which means an increased heart rate
and faster breathing.
In a conversation, this can look like someone gesturing wildly or speaking quicker and quicker.
A fast-paced tone can also be an attempt to end the conversation sooner and you may observe
that the person has become suddenly abrupt.
If you notice this, it may not be entirely your fault.
Sometimes, people begin to feel uncomfortable, in general, if a conversation drags on or
if they experience social anxiety.
Number 3 - Scratching
Suppose you’re outside, and the person you’re with begins scratching a mosquito bite.
In that case, there’s nothing out of the ordinary about their itch, but if there’s
no reasonable explanation, scratching can be a sign of discomfort.
Pay attention to this body signal, especially if it comes after you’ve said something.
Scratching around the ears, in particular, is often a sign that someone disagrees with
you but doesn’t want to verbalize their thoughts.
Number 4 - Nervous Laughter
Nervous laughter is incredibly common and often pops up during awkward and uncomfortable
moments.
Inappropriate giggling or laughter can help people relieve tension and cope with discomfort.
If you want to know how someone feels around you, pay attention to whether or not their
laughter is genuine or nervous.
Number 5 - Breaking Eye Contact
When someone feels disinterested, overshadowed, or uncomfortable during a conversation, they
might find reasons to look away.
Frequent glances over your shoulder or at their phone can signal that they’d like
to get out of the situation.
If you notice that someone keeps breaking eye contact with you, it might be time to
stop talking and start listening.
Ask for their opinion about something or steer the topic toward them.
Then, be sure to listen without interrupting.
Their response will show you whether or not they’d like to continue talking to you.
Number 6 - One-Word Answers
It’s not uncommon to find yourself talking to someone who gives one-word answers.
They could simply be distracted or shy, but it could also reveal discomfort.
If you’re an exceptional conversationalist and ask thoughtful questions, it can be unsettling
to receive one or two-word answers, and it could mean that you’re not the only one
feeling unsettled.
There are lots of different things that you could have said that unintentionally made
them feel uncomfortable.
The most likely answer is that you touched on a topic that made them feel embarrassed,
offended, or unknowledgeable.
In these circumstances, it’s important to take a look at the big picture.
It could be time to end the conversation and move on.
Number 7 - Self-Soothing
Do you have any nervous habits like bouncing a leg, playing with your hair, or biting your
nails?
It probably comes as no surprise that other people do, too.
People perform these actions as a way to self-soothe, and if you’re making someone feel uncomfortable,
you might notice them falling into nervous habits.
Often, self-soothing habits occur subconsciously, and the person you’re talking to might not
even recognize how they’re feeling.
Keep an eye out for fidgety behavior like playing with an earring, rubbing their neck,
or fiddling with clothing or other objects.
If you see someone acting this way, consider what you’re saying and how it may be affecting
them.
Is the topic offensive or anxiety-inducing?
If you think it may be, try moving the conversation to something less conflicting.
Number 8 - Red Ears
Do you blush when you feel embarrassed?
Maybe you do, or perhaps you know someone who does.
People often get red in the face when they feel nervous or uncomfortable.
But sometimes, a nervous blush can be subtle and only affect the ears.
This happens because blood flows to the ears faster than it does to the face.
So, if you see red ears, it’s a sure sign that someone is feeling uncomfortable.
Number 9 - Backing Away
Stepping back or away is a common subconscious signal that you don’t want to be near something
or someone.
If someone moves away from you, it’s a sign that they’re uncomfortable.
If they can’t move away, they might simply turn away or create a barrier by crossing
their arms or legs.
These behaviors are a form of subconscious blocking that helps us protect ourselves.
If you notice it, don’t be too worried.
It could just mean that you stepped a little too far into somebody else’s personal space.
Just take a step back and see if some space gives them comfort.
Number 10 - Blocking
When people feel discomfort, they might also practice blocking with objects instead of
their bodies.
This blocking occurs most often with things that the person is holding like a backpack,
purse, or book.
Whatever they possess, they will use it as a shield to protect themselves if they don’t
like your behavior.
Keep in mind that blocking is subconscious, and don’t take it as a personal affront.
Instead, use it to observe the other person’s feelings and gauge how they feel about what
you have to say.
And while you can’t control someone else’s reactions, you can try your best to help them
feel safe and comfortable.
When it comes to determining how someone else feels, nonverbal cues are the next best thing
to just asking.
Sometimes, people feel uncomfortable because of their personal beliefs, experiences, or
biases - and if you don’t already know their specific triggers, it’s nearly impossible
to guess how they’ll react.
If you notice that you’re the source of some level of discomfort, most of the time,
all you need to do to make someone feel better is give them some space and an apology.
Keep in mind that other people’s emotions are not your responsibility, and making others
feel comfortable isn’t always the best or the right thing to do - especially if they
have a problem with your self-expression or authenticity.
Be mindful of how you influence other people’s emotions, but never at the expense of being
true to yourself.
Can you remember the last time you made someone uncomfortable?
How did you handle the situation?
Share your thoughts and experiences below!
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