You know that feeling that you get in your chest
where like your heart clenches a little bit and then you're like "am I having a stroke
or am I actually having emotions right now?"
I have some great news.
First of all, I finally shaved my [arm]pits.
It's been many many months since I last touched it.
I was gonna see if I can hold the world record,
but at this point if I was wearing this tank top,
my hair probably would have pricked your eyeballs out through the camera.
The next good news that I want to share is that I am doing another giveaway
for five brand-new books because Book of the Month
is sponsoring this video.
Book of the Month is a subscription box that helps people discover the best new releases.
They offer five new releases each month. You get to pick out one book to be shipped to your home for a cheap price.
Just to show you the books.
We have A Burning by Megha Majumdar.
There's also The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett.
I'll talk more about this book later on in this video because I am interested in reading that sometime this year,
but if you're looking for LGBT books or books by authors of color,
these are two options that I think would be really good for you.
And then we have other books from different genres.
We have Home Before Dark, which is a thriller novel,
The Last Flight, which is a mystery novel,
and One to Watch, which is a romance novel featuring a plus-size protagonist.
In addition to purchasing one of the featured books,
you can also add two add-ons,
so that could be previous books that they featured before.
If you're not interested in any of the books,
you can skip any month with no penalty.
I will be doing a giveaway,
so the link to the form will be in my description,
but if you want any of these books guaranteed, then you can check out bookofthemonth.com
to get your first book,
which is normally $14.99, but if you used my code readwithcindy it would be $9.99.
While I'm here,
I do want to talk a little bit more about Book of the Month and what's been going on.
I've been working with Book of the Month for a while and what I do
every time they sponsor my videos is I give away these books right away.
I send all five books to people who might not otherwise afford it or people who don't live in the US
so that they can still get access to these books too.
And I've generally enjoyed their service so far because I do keep up with them to see what the new releases are
and what other diverse authors I haven't heard about before.
Lately, Book of the Month has been dealing with some criticisms from people in the book community
for not offering books that are diverse enough
and also not handling their social media
in a way that feels like you're being heard or you're being listened to when you voice those concerns for diversity.
I was debating on what I should do because I still really like sending these books to people for free
and having them enjoy five brand-new books, especially if they can't afford it otherwise.
But I also felt like the criticisms were very valid.
Recently, the CEO of Book of the Month has published a statement on their Instagram.
I'll link to it in the description below so that you can read it fully.
They were basically addressing the criticisms that they've received
and they came up with this action plan for how they're gonna improve their service.
First and foremost,
increasing authors of color in their monthly selections because right now, it's only about 20 percent.
Going forward,
they say that they're gonna at least double to 40% of their selections
to be authors of color, with an emphasis on Black writers.
And then they talked more about how they're gonna hire more Black employees
and focus more on inclusiveness in their marketing programs and the influencers that they pick out.
And they also are making a huge
donation to a couple of organizations about racial injustice.
But I'm glad that they acknowledge that they can do more and they will be,
but I wanna be just super transparent:
I have contacted them and I also told them that should anything happen in the future,
I might have to revise my contract or terminate it completely,
but for now, based on what I see in the CEO statements,
I do have hope that they will improve
because they put out such an actual plan.
In the future, if you still feel like
these problems are not being addressed,
just let me know and I will figure out my contract with them,
whether that's ending it or pushing them in a different direction.
They are also open to feedback too because I've been talking to them about this.
Basically, just wanted to be super transparent about this.
I am optimistic. I do really like that
they picked two LGBT books and two authors of color
and I am
excited to see more diverse choices moving forward.
So keep on giving Book of the Month feedback
and then also give me feedback, as well, on whether you think I should continue on with this or not
In the meantime,
I'm still gonna be given out free books every month,
so take advantage of that while you can.
Now with that out of the way,
let's move on to the main content of this video.
Today I'm going to do the mid-year book freakout tag
and if you don't know what that is,
it's basically like a check-in in the middle of the year
to just talk about the books that you've read in the first six months of 2020.
Yes, it is already the middle of 2020, but it feels like a goddamn century.
But here we are.
This tag basically asks a bunch of questions. I'll link the creator in the description below.
But the first question is "best book you've read so far in 2020?"
If I had to choose just one, I would pick Maybe You Should Talk to Someone,
which is a nonfiction memoir that's written by a therapist.
She talks about the different patients that she has and their stories
and she talks about her own experiences going to therapy
and she just kind of connects them all to "why do we feel the way that we feel?"
I remember listening to the audiobook.
I ended up tearing up because a bitch was going through it, okay?
A bitch was starting to feel some things
and I feel like a lot of the stuff that the author wrote
came across as so genuine and insightful.
She brought a lot of insights that
resonated with me and made me think a lot about
how I process things
and how I reflect on a lot of things in my life.
For example,
she mentioned how we often stay in our negative mindset
because it's so much easier to be negative
and to still stay within that lane
instead of breaking free into the unknown,
which is being positive and trying to be happy and trying to improve our lives,
because that sets up a chance for us to fail.
And so our brain kind of tricks ourselves to not do that
because it's like
well I can't even be more sad if I just don't try at all.
And I was like
this bitch just read me.
What I liked the most about this book was that she talks about three patients throughout the book.
Even though all their situations were so different,
I still found some way to relate to them
and I was able to find some meaning in all of their takeaways anyway,
even when one of the patients was a total jackass.
There's like this breaking point that he has towards the end of the book that really made me tear up
cause I was like "damn,
this shit just got too real."
I felt like it was a good reminder for me to stay
compassionate to myself and also to other people,
because everyone is going through something,
and to be more reflective of yourself,
which is something that I am constantly trying to do.
The second question is "best sequel you've read so far in 2019?" [2020? We don't know her]
I haven't read any series so far, except for Harry Potter
because I agreed to join this Harry Potter and the Virgins read-along,
where other newbies and I would be reading the books for the first time.
But we actually decided to cancel the read-along
because JK Rowling has decided to tweet even more transphobic ideologies
And to add insult to injury,
she blatantly decided to, for some reason, go on her platform,
and spread all those hurtful words during the Black Lives Matter movement
AND during Pride Month. [SMH]
And so at this point I was just so fucking annoyed by her that I decided
I'm not gonna read any more of her book.
I have no regrets whatsoever about discontinuing this series
because the only reason why I was reading it in the first place was because I agreed to host the read-along.
Otherwise, I never would have bothered to continue reading.
That means that I have only read the first three books of Harry Potter.
I don't think I've read any other series.
But to answer the question, based on the first three books,
I do think that the third book was a little bit more elevated because it explored darker themes.
It introduced background stories of adult characters from Harry Potter's previous generation
that I thought was more interesting,
but ultimately not interesting enough for me to continue reading from a transphobic author.
So, moving on.
Number three is "new release you haven't read yet but want to?"
I have had My Dark Vanessa on my radar.
It's a literary novel that features a relationship between a teacher and a student, which sounds really sketch,
but the whole point of the book is to show how problematic it is
and to show how twisted of a relationship it is.
I've heard good things about it. I've been meaning to read it.
I probably will at some point this year.
Another one that I want to read is The Knockout Queen, which is a literary book,
but I didn't realize until I checked Goodreads that it had the LGBTQ+ tag on it as well
So now that incentivizes me even more to check it out.
Another book I want to read is The Vanishing Half, which is another literary novel.
It's basically about two identical twins, who live in the South.
One of them is Black and the other is White-passing, and it shows how their lives diverge
I think what I'm realizing this year, is that I like literary novels.
A lot of people on booktube complain that they're too slow and boring.
I realize I'm just a boring bitch and I might as well just embrace it
Question number four is "most anticipated release for the second half of the year?"
I have no clue
what books are gonna be released this year.
I am too busy trying to catch up with all the books that have already been published.
I guess Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes?
It's kind of like a highly anticipated release.
I will be picking that for Papercut Book Club and doing a live show for it,
but to be honest,
I'm not really anticipating it because I've seen so many mixed reviews
and I don't think I will actually like it
So basically, I don't have any books that are highly anticipated.
I just have a few books that I have been meaning to read on my TBR,
like the three that I mentioned in the previous question.
Number five is "biggest disappointment?"
I started reading Harry Potter literally right before JK Rowling decided to publicize her transphobic ideology.
So does that count or do I have to talk about the actual books for this question?
I'm just gonna make it count here.
The first book was dry as hell and there was so much fat shaming that it was super grating.
I'm like, yes, we get it, Dudley is fat and Harry is a skinny legend. Let's fucking move on.
But unfortunately, we never moved on
because every single time Dudley is described or any of his family members are described
she emphasizes so many times
that he has fat arms that they jiggle every time he moves.
And every now and then there are people who are like, well,
It's not actually fat phobic
because Harry was starved as a child
and it's supposed to show how the Dursley's [??] are spoiled and everything.
But it's like, dude, JK Rowling has so much of a problematic history,
not just history, but even today,
literally discrediting transgender people, that I would not hold it past her to be fat phobic.
Biggest disappointment not just in the books that I personally couldn't enjoy
because I don't really read middle grade,
but also for the author herself,
for just being like a shitty person.
You impacted several generations
and then you're gonna go ahead and ruin your legacy by just tweeting harmful shit.
For so many of your transgender readers to be hurt by that
and to feeling invalidated by that. That doesn't fucking sit right with me.
I understand how people can have nostalgia for that series and still want to cling on to it,
but that's not my fucking problem cuz I never read this series to begin with.
I have no claim or stake in this whatsoever,
so I'm happy to move on and keep on reading the rest of my boring ass literary books,
cause let's be real if she were published today, nobody would even give a damn about her.
Nobody would even publish her probably.
Everyone would fucking cancel her.
But the fact that she was a successful author in the 90s
and she was able to have a really popular series,
I think that's why people are so unwilling to let go of her,
but I don't have that problem,
so, peace out.
Question number six is "biggest surprise"?
And for that I'm gonna choose Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng.
I read that last month,
and I didn't think I would like it as much as I did
and so I was really surprised that I ended up
blasting through it in two days.
The reason why I didn't think I would be that interested in it is
because just reading the synopsis sounded dry as fuck.
It was like based in a suburban neighborhood
It involved a family drama and a custody case,
but for some reason I was so into it.
Yes, it was very slow,
but I was so interested in what kind of themes the author was trying to convey
and what each character is supposed to represent
and like their dynamics; and the custody case was actually super juicy.
I think my friend Lea was right when I was telling her about all the books that I have been enjoying recently
cause she told me that I am becoming a Midwestern housewife.
And yeah, she's probably right.
Next question is "favorite new author?", whether that's a debut author or an author that's new to you.
I'm gonna choose two people: Jesmyn Ward and Kristin Hannah
Jesmyn Ward wrote Men We Reaped,
which made me cry at like 1 a.m.
Similarly, Kristin Hannah also wrote The Nightingale, which also made me cry at 1 a.m.,
so there's definitely like a common theme going on here.
Kristin Hannah is so descriptive in a poetic way where she gets so detailed
and it really just adds to the atmosphere of the historical setting that her books take place in.
And Jasmine Ward is just so talented
at making very poignant statements through her writing
In the case of Men We Reaped, you could feel the grief
that was just coming out of her words and the pages that she wrote
and I will definitely be more interested in reading more of their work.
Their books are really heavy,
so I do think I have to be in the right mindset for it,
but man, they are heavy and dense,
but like in a good way.
Question number eight is "newest fictional crush"?
I don't really get fictional crushes,
but if I had to pick a hottie from all the books I've read, I would pick Michael from The Kiss Quotient.
This was a romance book that I read last month.
I can talk more about it in my book wrap-up.
He was basically like an escort slash male prostitute, I guess, that the main character hires.
Let's just say he was really good at his job.
You know, I appreciate somebody who is so competent at what they are hired to do,
but, also, he wasn't good at his job in the sense where he was totally not a
professional escort at all because he would get way too attached to the main character
and act all sentimental to her.
So on one hand
I was like you're being so unprofessional right now because you're acting like a boyfriend not a prostitute.
But on the other hand, I was like, mhm you're hot, so I'll give it a pass.
He was such a softie and he was pining for the main girl the whole time,
and the thing is
the main girl is this super successful and rich girl who works in Silicon Valley who doesn't like to socialize.
*cough cough* ahem
So I think I'm kind of fitting his type over here.
So perhaps I do have a chance.
I don't know.
But if I had to pick one guy to bang or to date, that would be him.
Question number nine is "newest favorite character"?
I am gonna cheat the question a little bit
and just pick like a person that I really enjoyed reading about,
which was Jonathan Van Ness.
I read his book Over the Top.
If you don't know, Jonathan is a non-binary, a wonderful individual who is most famous for being on Queer Eye.
I appreciated reading his memoir or
whatever his ghostwriter wrote for his memoir because he has been through so much at such an early age.
He's been through sexual abuse,
which ultimately led to his drug addiction and to his sex addiction and
to a lot of very tumultuous relationships that he's been through.
But it always inspires me to see people who are so positive and bring such good energy and
help others and try to be as compassionate to other people and themselves as much as they can,
despite having such a difficult past and upbringing.
Even though it's awful to see someone go through so much shit,
it's still nice to see them still persevere and have a good life despite all of that.
It just shows that even if you are going through some shit, you can be okay too
I wouldn't be surprised if he is still
dealing with his addiction and other issues,
but I think the fact that he is so compassionate and really tries his best
and constantly self reflects and goes to therapy
and teaches all the things that he's learned through therapy
is super super helpful because that's really all that we can do.
All that we can do is
just keep on learning and keep on trying and even when we mess up,
we just got to keep on going and moving forward
and reflecting and I respect that.
Number ten: "book that made you cry"?
The book that I've cried the hardest so far
this year is The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah.
However, I will say that I've cried way harder in other World War II books in previous years,
but so far, it's been The Nightingale.
Conversely, the next question is "a book that made you happy"?
All the books that I read this year have been pretty serious,
except for The Kiss Quotient,
so I'm just gonna go with that.
Happy might not be the right word, but I felt very fluffy from it.
And that's why I like reading romance stories sometimes,
because you know that feeling that you get in your chest where like your heart clenches a little bit
and then you're like am I having a stroke or am I actually having emotions right now?
Whose to say?
It was so fluffy and feel-good and sweet and, again, the p i n i n g
(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ I'm all about the pining. ♥ [yEaRnInG]
Number twelve is "most beautiful book you've bought so far this year or received"?
I don't buy books, but based on all of the books I read this year, I think the nicest cover is Nocturna.
This is a Latinx-inspired fantasy because of all the patterns and the vivid colors,
which is such a prominent theme in Latinx cultures.
And then the last question is "what books do you need to read by the end of the year"?
I had to grab this with me because I actually have quite a lot that I've been meaning to read.
Obviously, aside from all the books I mentioned in the previous questions,
there are some that I have, whether they were given to me or whether I still have them from my library.
First one is Wabi-Sabi.
Jackie gave this to me. This is basically a design book,
and I realized I haven't really read any design books this year,
so I wanna to fix that.
Tierra gave me At the Wolf's Table, which I actually don't really know what this is,
but I think it is a historical book.
Actually, yeah, it's set in Germany 1943 during World War Two.
Oh, great.
Time for me to cry once again.
Speaking of historical books,
I also have An Extraordinary Union, which is from my library.
This is a historical romance book.
So I've been meaning to read this and it's by Alyssa Cole.
If I'm interested in this book,
I'll check out her other books as well.
This one has been on my TBR for a while.
This is Tell the Truth and Shame the Devil, which is a memoir that is written by the mother of Michael Brown.
I think I was supposed to read this in the beginning of the year,
but then I couldn't because just life happened.
And now, with everything that's been going on,
I feel like it is even more relevant now than ever to read this, so I will probably get to do this soon.
I also will probably cry while reading it, but what else is new?
Chanelle also gave me 4 Blondes.
I think she gave this to me because she wants a rant review out of it.
At least there'll be something entertaining for you guys.
Sierra also gave me The Girl Who Could Move Shit With Her Mind.
I don't know what that is besides the title, but I do plan on reading that.
She also gave me True Colors by Kristin Hannah.
I'm looking forward to just indulging more in her beautiful writing.
Lastly, I also got There Will Come a Darkness.
This is a fantasy book. I think it has been compared to Six of Crows.
We'll see how that goes.
Basically, I still have a lot of books that I still need to read.
I hope that by the time it is the end of the year,
I will be back with more books to recommend or make fun of or talk about
If you made this far,
thank you for watching.
Unsubscribe from my channel and goodbye. (Subscribe to Cindy!)
Stay safe and take care of yourself, everyone!