hello lovelies welcome to narc free formula my name is freedom thank
you for joining me in tonight's episode I want to talk about narcs and their phones
sounds like a normal everyday average thing but in the hands of a narcissist even your average mobile
phone can be used as a weapon but for us that can I pose remind you if you enjoy my videos please
remember to hit the like button and subscribe to the channel and if you've got anything to
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other platforms that'll be awesome alright lovely so um I've got some notes and let's jump into it
narcissist and mobile phones so have you noticed how attached they ask their mobile phones how
they do not let them out of their sight literally take them to the bathroom when they go to toilet
you know we'll come back in a room if they've forgotten their mobile phone that's how paranoid
they are about people knowing what's going on in the fire so if like me you're a trusting person
no I've always trusted my partners I've never thought to check up on them or watch them more
you know go through their phones good no it's just not it's not even something that I would
think to do however after being married with the narcissist for over a decade I can category one
home sin guarantee you that Nasus will be going through your phone every time you leave the room
they'll go through your phone they'll put spyware on your phone okay they will keep an eye on you
through your phone so as we all know that project right so if they're so worried about your phone
what's that telling you it's telling you your life it's telling you that they got something going on
in their phone that they don't want you to know about and you know I hate to break it down to you
but I hear people say oh you know oh no my husband lets me use his phone all the time and I'm sure
that's lulled you into a false sense of security just like it was supposed to if he's letting you
use his mobile phone there is two things happening one he has nothing on that phone he's got a second
phone or a second SIM card or he's gonna step further he's got everything on that phone it's
in a hidden apps see there actually is apps and technology now that quite literally you can hide
photos message messages you can you can make your phone look like so have two settings here we go
so you can have two kind of settings one is the public setting and one is the private setting and
if you know how to get into the private setting it looks totally different to the public setting
so sure he passes you over the phone no worries because he knows damn well that you're in the
public setting and that there's no way you're gonna be able to find his photos his contacts his
messages to his new supplier he knows damn well you won't find any of that stuff sorry darlings
my Lighting's are a little bit average that I'm just giving two seconds there this helps lighting
is a real challenge at night on um so yeah so and and how I found this wall out you know as always
I've been at Poway oh that's bright down I found out the hard way I found out by coming across a
mobile phone it wasn't mine wasn't his what it was his come across this mobile phone in the garage
one day just out of the blue is such a random thing I found this phone and I started looking
in the fire and it's like oh my god focusing on the internet on oh and here we are some weird
dating kind of app and there's someone offering sexual favors to my husband anyhow at the time I
just grabbed the phone and ran and started reading and learning about a whole double life that I had
had no clue about because I'm a trusting person because I don't screw around because I don't cheat
because I don't like because I'm not sneaky I just assumed that he was too and the thing is
he said that he was just like me he said that he was loyal he said that he was faithful he said all
the things that I wanted to hear so I never really bothered paying that much attention to things you
know as I said I would never have thought to go checking up on his phone never never never
until the day I found this second phone and once I saw what was going on I mean talk about cognitive
dissonance you know that whole brain implosion where you know you've got reality and then your
new reality on top and you're just in shock and you can't believe what you're seeing to know that
it's real it's a horrible thing to experience it really really is but anyhow I mean I'm glad
that I found that for him because if I didn't find that phone I'd probably still be married
to a an abusive toxic man who was just taking advantage of me my situation and you know being
in total narcissistic peak basically so yo for filing fines but anyhow getting back to up so
if they have a second phone you won't know where it is or the other thing they do is you know how
small a SIM card is what you think that I can't hard a SIM card like that you know when people
say oh no no no it's just not possible yeah it's possible it really is possible and the
thing is if they you know if you've gone through the kind of checklist with the nasty sequester no
disorder yeah the diagnostic criteria if you come back and go ah yeah yeah check check check okay
then you know that this is what they do this is part of their disorder because they do not value
relationships commitment they don't value honesty they're all about getting supply they don't care
if they cheat they don't care about any of the things that we care about they say they do but
they really really don't and the the mobile phone is the perfect tool and the perfect weapon for a
narcissist like I said it's got all these little hidden places where they can hide their messages
you know or there's apps that they can put on your phone so they can actually spy on you so they can
get all of your text messages sent up to a portal where they can check in like their login they can
get access to your text messages your photos the websites that you've gone on the they can even
record the phone conversations that you've had you know all of that stuff is available and they can
access it through your mobile phone all they need is a few minutes to put the initial software on
the phone and you know it's kind of funny because for the last couple years of my situation ship I
used to find my Bluetooth on my phone on and I you think I'm sure I've never turned like I don't tell
my better than while I do that it was always on and it used to drive me a little bit about [ __ ]
crazy and it's kind of funny because in the two years that I've been separated not once has my
Bluetooth just accidentally turned itself on you know so obviously he was accessing my phone via
bluetooth you know just turning my Bluetooth on his is open there's a no connection between
the two phones and that's why he was transferring information I mean it's really quite sinister what
they can do with mobile phones so just remember that they can use it as a weapon they can use it
to cheat and they do but there are other things games that they play with the mobile phones it's
just so much fun let's play some night games like you know for example I'd know when you've
had an argument with them you know or they've deliberately created an argument so they can storm
out because I've got somewhere to be or someone to go see and you try and call them and the phone's
off you know and when they come back there to say oh yeah the battery went dead or no or the phone
yeah must have fallen behind the back seat in the car no it's amazing how often the narcissist has
problems with the fine you know when an actual fact what probably would have happened is that
probably saw you call ignored your call because as I said they were lining up new supply that's
why their creditors the argument in the first place that's why they're stormed off you know
they love having the mobile phones but they also need to they they don't like the inconvenience you
know that you can call them but they love lying to you about the mobile phone and they love the fact
they can see it in your face you doubt them that you're just not sure and they lie to you some more
and then when you kind of go oh yeah okay yeah I suppose it could have just been ten off they love
that that gives some fuel right there in there because they just go sound [ __ ] so much smarter
than you stupid [ __ ] and that's the kind of stuff these blokes think right and meanwhile we're
giving them all of our love all of our attention we're giving them everything and that is the way
they think about us it's really really sinister all right another little fun game the narcs play
with their mobile phone is when you separate or you know having time apart or whatever when they
accidentally text you or accidentally call you the amount of times that I've been accidentally
called by my ex and I can hear him him and the new supplier chatting away I kind of select the
phone I just sit there and let him spend all of his dollars you know I'm range didn't it I've got
to say I couldn't even imagine how boring that concession would actually be but I'm I just let
him ycs dollars that's his money to spend whatever but yes and another little trick little game that
I'd play you know um when they send a text message to you and then send low and say oh no sorry wrong
person oh my lord all the games that they're playing see anything this just goes to show that
anything can be used as a weapon in the hands of the wrong person I mean mobile phones are supposed
to be to communicate and yet there are 50,000 games that the narcissist can play that do the
complete opposite is you know miscommunication it confuses people all right other things that they
use the phone for they will deliberately you lose your phone you know because that's another great
fun game you know so you have to go off to work or have your day where you know you can't find
your phone meanwhile they're going through your phone you know checking everything out gives them
a day at home by themselves to literally have a good old spy on everything you've been doing
they changed numbers that's another thing nurses are always on the run you know so they're always
there's always someone that they ripped off someone that they've conned someone that's looking
for them you know or they've given out the number to some woman and now she's ringing or whatever
you know there's a whole lot of reasons but you will notice that they will change their numbers so
often it's like almost as like you know as often as I change your undies it's just ridiculous and
another sinister thing they do with the phones is they will often destroy our phones so they like
to isolate us and this is why they do it you know because as I said they know the power of the fire
you know it's about communications are told about to talk to people and they know that without your
find you can't talk to people you can't call for help you can't get support when you need it it
makes you isolated and dependent upon them which is exactly the way they want you to be so then
when you don't have a phone and they sit there on their phone playing that little games you
know sitting there and you know they're getting text messages coming through and you're like ah
who's that texting well you know one that you know they get to play all those little fun games you
know making you feel insecure electronic gaslight and confuse you and you know there may very well
be talking to new supply but they may also just be talking to the bloke down the road you know about
getting some tires for the car but the fact is that they could just say that that they don't no
they don't they always use every advantage every opportunity that they have to gas life confuse
you they will do it you know and the mobile phone is the perfect weapon but only house listen I am
I just want you to realize that because I think that um I find it really frustrating when I talk
to women who just so naive and I look on her I understand because I was naive to her I really
really was I'm a trusting person so therefore I trusted him I'm an honest person so therefore
I thought he was honest you know and I get that like I really do get that but I'm telling you if
someone had told me to snap out of it and wake the [ __ ] up you know hopefully I would have so this
is me telling you if you're having doubts if you if your intuition is saying to you that he's up to
something that he's cheating that he's sneaking around or just you know you're just getting
feelings that he's lying to you it's not telling you the full story please trust your instinct okay
it's there for a reason your intuition and your instinct is there to protect you and look anyone
is playing this kind of stupid games with you you know I mean that stuff just toxic [ __ ] anyhow
you know that's the kind of thing that you need to start thinking about how you're going to get
out of the relationship you know you don't want to be with someone who plays his games with you
you don't want to be with someone who's texting other women you know or you know putting eyewear
on your fire like that stuff's really really toxic unhealthy you know and can ultimately be dangerous
but these blokes can be dangerous and like seven and the mobile phone gives them the perfect kind
of insight and tall to to spy on you you know we carry it everywhere that GPS tells them exactly
where we are 24/7 you know 24/7 all it needs to know they check in a new Google account I've
got all your passwords because know you've been together so long you know they know your passwords
you've either told them you know because you trust them because you don't think that people are like
this but people are like this we're not people narcissists narcissism sociopaths this is what
they are about you know they are about control and power and manipulation so every time you naively
trust them with your passwords they remember that stuff they write that stuff down you know
they take note of that stuff and so you know for example you might be separated for a couple years
afterwards whatever you know and he still logged into all of your accounts he still knows exactly
what's going on because you've never stopped to think you know about what if the what if he is
actually spying on you and they do spy okay so if you've got the same phone you probably need
to get a new phone you probably need to log out absolutely everything you need to change all your
passwords you should probably actually start in your accounts that's what I would do I'd suggest
our new accounts and if you really concern about this stuff go and speak to a specialist
and actually have your computer checked your car checked anything that's got a computer chip in it
and needs to be checked so I find computer in car alright lovelies I'm gonna leave it at that but
I'm yeah place like this seriously because as I said these blokes are dangerous so really are I've
just been reading some of the Chris Watts case again and every time I read that stuff it just
you know reinforces and reminds me how important it is that we take this stuff seriously because
you know Faraj nan she wouldn't have known that that was coming until it it was happening you
know and none of us want to end up like that back in a place good night and I'll speech you tomorrow