so this is three addiction relapse thinking patterns
that really go under the radar almost everyone misses these and they're very
dangerous because they can definitely pull you back down into addiction
for those of you who are new here i'm amber hollingsworth and you're watching put the
shovel down the youtube channel designed to help keep you five steps ahead of addiction
at all times so you can get back to living the life that you want to live so in the past on
this channel we've talked about thinking patterns that end in relapse and i will put a link to those
videos for you at the very end of this video but in this video we're going to talk about the really
really sneaky addiction thinking patterns that you really don't even quite recognize when they're
happening to you these are the ones that sneak right through the radar if you have any sort of
recovery under your belt or cleaners over time you can maybe ward off the thought of just one
more time or i'll just drink a couple or something like that those are like the standard thoughts
and you eventually figure out that it doesn't work that way but there are still these really sneaky
ones like i said that just come at you in disguise that you may not even realize are actual relapse
thoughts so it's important to be able to identify them when they happen to you these things we're
going to talk about today are like the advanced monster mouths and just when i was getting ready
to make my list for you my notes for this video i thought of one more so i'm going to give you three
and if you stick around to the end you're going to get a really good bonus one because i thought
oh this is one more really good one i gotta add that in there okay so the first really sneaky
addiction thought this thought that goes something like oh i don't want to tell my friends or my
family or my coworkers i'm recovering because i don't want to make them feel awkward around me
so you see it's not even like a bad intention when you're having that thought
it comes in this form of like i'm looking out for other people but deep down inside when you
look way deep down in there then you know that there is a little part of you that's not wanting
to tell it in case you change your mind in case this whole sobriety thing just doesn't work out
you don't want to tell everybody that you don't drink because then you'll be accountable for that
now you gotta dig down in there and you gotta be really honest and even if you're not even
thinking that at the time maybe you really and truly are doing it for heartfelt reasons
to not make your friends or family or someone else uncomfortable even at the time that's why you're
making it the thought will come in that eventually maybe you're with them and they're drinking and
everyone's having fun but you didn't tell them that you don't drink or maybe you told them you're
not drinking tonight but you didn't tell them like you don't drink it leaves room for those monster
mouths to sneak back in there now you guys know i always say addiction can only live in the dark
when you turn the light on it it doesn't survive you gotta think about like it's like some kind of
little like fungus and a petri dish and it has to have like these exact right conditions to thrive
those conditions are darkness secrecy shame insecurity that right there that's the perfect
conditions for addiction to thrive in when you turn the light on it and you add some honesty and
humility and integrity it literally cannot live in those conditions it's like weather conditions
so if you'll control the conditions you can get control of this addiction the number two really
sneaky addictive thinking pattern is rewarding yourself you know most of the time we kind of know
like we should be careful if we're really stressed or really down or really depressed that might be a
high risk time but most of the time it doesn't get on our radar that times of celebration and good
times and positive times are also really high risk anytime you get in the emotional extremes you have
more of a risk because your your sort of guard is down further because your emotions are up further
so the more you turn up the emotions the more your shield turns down so it's important to
realize that this celebration can be a very high risk time and what i see a lot of times is that
we'll tell ourselves something like you know i've been doing really good i haven't drank in a month
i'm just going to have myself like a cheat day i'm going to reward myself with just having a
beer with friends or a couple of glasses of wine or something like that and we don't even see that
as a relapse we're almost like no i've been on good behavior the same way you might if you've
been like on a diet and you're like oh i'm gonna have a cheat day that's a very very sneaky thought
and if it could work that way and stay there it'd probably be okay but most people that have made
the decision to stop some kind of addictive behavior the reason you've decided to stop is
because you don't manage it well so you've got to find some other way to reward yourself it's
just that you have in your mind it's just linked up like okay great i did good i don't celebrate i
reward myself this way and it's almost like this little automatic thought that sneaks in so watch
out for that one because the timing of that one a lot of times is one that you just don't expect
and you would be surprised to see how many people reward themselves and maybe you've done this in
the past i've done this in the past with letting yourself do the very behavior that you've been
trying not to do that's your reward now number three sneaky addiction relapse thinking pattern is
when you it's kind of the opposite of the celebration one it's actually when you
beat yourself up and you get mad at yourself and you start telling yourself you're no good lazy you
don't even deserve you know to have good things in your life and it may look like you're being humble
or you're being truthful with yourself but you're really not when you're beating yourself up to that
degree you are literally just setting yourself up for not having to be responsible because it
may sound to other people and other people may say oh they feel so sorry for him oh he doesn't
like himself he's got poor self-esteem you know he he thinks the worst of himself and i'm like no
no it's not sad and pitiful what that is is that is a way of letting yourself off the hook of
having to be responsible and make good decisions when you beat yourself up you will invariably
come around the back end and then rescue yourself from yourself beating yourself up i know that was
kind of complicated but you're tracking me so don't allow yourself to go into that really
negative self-talk because it doesn't lead anywhere good all right i told you if you watch
the whole video i'll give you a bonus one here's your big bonus sneaky addictive thinking relapse
pattern and that one is any kind of secret keeping when you're secret keeping about wanting to use
about cravings about planning to use or thinking to use or a relapse that you recently just had
when you're secret keeping you begin to block out positive supports even if it's on a subconscious
level because you feel this guilt inside and so if you find yourself moving back into secret keeping
behaviors even with things that don't even seem like they're related to addiction at all
what it's doing is it's pulling you back into that same old behavior pattern which is going
to pull you back into that same old thinking and feeling pattern so if you find that you're doing
a lot of secret keeping again that is a huge major relapse warning sign pay attention to it
and you got to think about those secrets i think of them like they're like little splinters and
if you leave them in there they get infected so rid yourself of the secrets because that splinter
it gets toxic it gets infected it turns into shame it turns into resentment it
turns into guilt it turns into nothing good so get rid of it now if you want to hear about the
three most common relapse warning thinking patterns relapse warning signs then watch
this video next because these are the most common ones and i guarantee you're gonna relate to these