WE ARE TWO WEEKS INTO THE
NEW YEAR AND MANY HAVE RESOLVED
TO BRING CLARITY TO OUR LIVES.
THE SELF-CARE TAKING MORE TIME
FOR OURSELVES. I FEEL LIKE THAT
HAS TO BE ONE OF THE TOP
RESOLUTIONS.
THERE IS A CONFLICT.
HOW DO YOU SAY YES TO YOUR OWN
NEEDS WHEN IT MEANS YOU COULD
BE SAYING NO TO OTHERS?
WE WILL TALK ABOUT HOW WE DEAL
WITH FOMO OR THE FEAR OF
MISSING OUT THROUGHOUT THIS
WHOLE PROCESS.
THANK YOU FOR COMING IN.
TALK TO US ABOUT THIS IDEA OF
FOMO AND HOW IT CAN CAUSE
ANXIETY IN SOME PEOPLE?
IT IS A REAL PHENOMENON.
PEOPLE KIND OF THOUGHT A FEW
YEARS AGO THIS IS A FUN ACRONYM.
BUT IT IS A TYPE OF SOCIAL
ANXIETY.
IT IS THIS PERVASIVE THOUGHT
THAT SOMEHOW YOU ARE MISSING
OUT ON ALL THE REALLY FUN
ACTIVITIES OR YOU ARE NOT
HANGING OUT WITH THE FUN PEOPLE
OR YOU LOOK AT PEOPLES
INSTAGRAM PAGES OR FACEBOOK
PAGES AND IT LOOKS LIKE
EVERYBODY HAS A MUCH MORE
AMAZING LIFE.
IT CAN CREATE ANXIETY.
I SUFFER FROM FOMO, NOT
BEING OUT IN THE ACTIVITIES
PEOPLE DO, I FEEL IT WITH
SOCIAL MEDIA.
I BETTER SEE WHAT PEOPLE ARE
TALKING ABOUT.
HAS ANYONE SAID A MESSAGE TO ME?
I SHOULD RESPOND.
I FEEL THAT.
HOW DO YOU PRIORITIZE?
HOW DO YOU GET THIS UNDER
CONTROL?
WE HAVE TO UNDERSTAND WE
CANNOT BE EVERYWHERE ALL THE
TIME.
WE USE THIS GLOBALIZED LANGUAGE
NOW.
WE SAY WORDS LIKE EVERYONE AND
ALL THE TIME.
AND WE REALLY KNOW THAT NOT
EVERYBODY IS DOING EVERYTHING.
TO BE ABLE TO THINK ABOUT WHAT
ARE THE PARTICIPATIONS I REALLY
NEED TO BE DOING.
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THE
GUILT THAT CAN COME WITH THE
SOMETIMES OF SAYING NO?
IF A FRIEND ASKS YOU TO DO
SOMETHING, IT SEEMS WHEN WE SAY
THAT IT SEEMS SELFISH.
I KNOW YOU ARE MY BEST
FRIEND BUT I CANNOT GO.
I FOUND MYSELF HAVING TO DO
ME OVER THE HOLIDAYS A COUPLE
OF TIMES.
I FINALLY HAD TO SAY IT IS HARD
TO DO THIS BUT I FELT GUILTY.
CHANGE BRINGS GUILT. WE ARE
VERY CONNECTED TO PEOPLE.
OF COURSE WE WILL FEEL AN
EMOTIONAL REACTION TO HAVING TO
SAY, NO.
NOBODY WANTS TO BE REJECTED AND
WE DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONE TO
REJECT SOMEBODY ELSE.
WE HAVE TO START THINKING ABOUT
THE THINGS WE ABSOLUTELY WANT
TO DO THAT BRING US JOY.
AND WHAT ARE SOME OF THE THINGS
THAT ARE MORE LIKE ONCE.
YOU HAVE A COUPLE OF TIPS ON
HOW TO SAY YES.
IT IS SAYING NO TO A CERTAIN
DEGREE.
BUT YOU ARE SAYING YES TO
YOURSELF WITHOUT THE GUILT.
I SOMETIMES ASK PEOPLE TO
THINK ABOUT, IF YOU HAD ALL THE
TIME IN THE WORLD TO DO
EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO DO, WHAT
WOULD THAT LOOK LIKE?
THAT IS NOT LIFE.
YOU HAVE FAMILY AND YOU CANNOT
SAY NO TO YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW.
THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT
WE CALL NONNEGOTIABLE'S.
THAT WE KNOW WE HAVE TO DO.
BUT FOR THE OTHER PIECES, JUST
BE HONEST WITH YOUR FAMILY
MEMBERS IN YOUR FRIENDS.
LETTING THEM KNOW, I AM TIRED.
I CANNOT DO ALL OF THESE THINGS.
AND THINK ABOUT WHAT BRINGS YOU
FULFILLMENT.
NOBODY WANTS TO HANG AROUND A
CRABBY PERSON.
YOU DON'T WANT TO BECOME AN
UNRELIABLE PERSON BECAUSE YOU
DON'T OFFER ANYTHING.
LETTING PEOPLE KNOW THAT YOU
NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
I WILL COME TO THIS THING IF I
CAN MAYBE SKIP OUT ON THE OTHER
THING.
ONE THING YOU SAY IS DON'T
APOLOGIZE FOR NEEDING YOUR OWN
SPACE.
WE ARE REALLY QUICK TO SAY I
AM SORRY IF WE THINK WE ARE
HURTING PEOPLE'S FEELINGS OR
THE PIECE ABOUT FEELING SELFISH.
IT IS OKAY FOR US TO CREATE
SPACE FOR THE THINGS WE NEED IN
OUR LIVES AND THE PEOPLE WE
NEED IN OUR LIVES. AND WE CAN
SERVE AS A ROLE MODEL TO OTHER
PEOPLE.
MAYBE THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE IN
OUR LIFE SAID YOU DON'T GO TO