- Brittani.
- Stop, no!
- Baby.
- Are you serious?
- I promise to be the best partner that I can be.
I just have one question.
- I was married for 17 and a half years.
I've been divorced for about 12 years now.
We're driving home, and he just turned around and said,
"I don't wanna be married any more."
- I was around 14 years old when my parents told me
that my dad was leaving.
- I was devastated only because I got married
to be married only once.
So I felt like I failed.
- I never gave up on ever wanting to get married,
but the divorce has really affected me as a person,
and has affected me in my relationships.
- You know, as a mother I don't want her
to have any kind of pain.
And that's gonna happen, that's just life.
- It's still a work in progress for sure.
- I think everything should be looked upon with love.
And I think that you guys really love each other
and that's ahead of how I started.
Because I just think your father was a little too young
to really love the way it was needed.
He's now in a good place
and he knows what love is now, right?
Even though it wasn't with me.
And I know that hurts, but, you know what?
When you love somebody, it's okay to see them happy.
- Yeah - [Ann] That's important.
Respect.
That's one of the things your grandmother
told me on our wedding day.
She said, "If you cross that line of respect,
it's easy to go and do it again, and do it again,
and then you get further and you get further."
- [Brittani] You get comfortable.
- You get comfortable with it and then it gets ugly.
Sense of humor. - Being silly.
- I think we would have never survived
if we didn't laugh a whole lot.
Of course sometimes I say stuff that is just off-the-wall.
- Too much.
Just too much.
- And I get yelled at!
You know how tables turn?
In between all those things,
it sounds hokey because a lot of people are gonna say,
"Oh that's hokey."
It's not hokey!
If you don't love somebody,
you can't put up with their caca.
So if you love each other you'll put up with a lot of stuff
and you'll have the patience.
Patience is another one.
Patience.
You have patience, my darling.
You have patience like I will never have.
Don't shove everything under the rug.
We used to do that.
You know, when we finally told your grandparents
that we were gonna get divorced,
they were like "But you guys never fight!
We've never seen you argue!
And we've never seen you upset!"
- None of your business.
- It's healthy as long as you don't get nasty,
but it's healthy because children need to know
that there's conflict and there's resolution.
And I don't use "I'm sorry" lightly.
When we fight we say "I'm sorry, I'm sorry"
just to shut somebody up and that's not--
You have to use those words when you really mean
that you're not gonna do it again,
or you're gonna be very conscious of not doing something.
- Mom, so, what do you think
is the best part about being married?
- The best part about being married is having a partner
through thick, through thin.
When you just wanna watch movies, when you wanna go out,
when you wanna laugh, when you wanna cry.
It's important, you know, to have somebody.
You know, I miss that a whole lot.
- What's the hardest part?
- Listening.
- Yeah, we've talked about that a lot.
- Listening is really important.
- Even though I want to get my point across, I have trouble
communicating what I'm really feeling.
And I don't wanna ruffle the feathers.
- Oh, that's one of the attributes you get from your father.
You didn't get it from me.
If you feel like you're going to say something
that's going to hurt, or you're trying to be
I need to get him right now, it's best to, like, say,
"You know what, we're arguing right now,
but I really, really love you."
- I love you so much but I really don't like you right now.
I love you though.
- Don't like you, but I love you. That's really important.
- From the divorce, I understood and was able to see
how incredibly strong you are.
To see you come out of it was the best thing,
because I was like "My mom is, like, literally
the strongest person I know."
- We did it, we did it, we got through it.
You guys mean so much to me.
That sitting across and breaking bread with your father
and his wife and the family, now the wedding coming up,
that I can do it without ill feeling.
They will come in and I will have my arms wide open.
- What I'm most excited for that day, I think the most
exciting moment will be standing at the end
of the aisle, seeing David at the other end,
probably very emotional, but that just, like, moment,
I'm looking forward to.
And then overall just, finally getting to know that he
and I are going to spend forever together.
- And we're gonna get to love, respect, love, and listen,
love, and have a sense of humor, love, and patience.
You make me extremely proud.
You're an amazing young woman.
You're smart, you're loving, you're kind.
That's all.
- I love you, mom.
- [Ann] I love you, baby.
(upbeat music)