Believe It To Achieve It Overcome Your Doubts Let Go Of The Past and Unlock Your Full Potential
by Brian Tracy and Christina Stein now you'll all know Brian Tracy from Eat That Frog
in which essentially he says put the most important hardest task first in your day
you can get that over with and it frees up your mind to focus on other things so this is him later
on in his career building on this with the help of a psychologist to write this book and co-author it
and really the analogy is life being like a bumper car at the carnival in which you're being knocked
in all directions with very little control and the book challenges you to think that really your
world is largely created by the thoughts that you think and the things how you think results
in what you actually do therefore if you're able to improve your thinking you can improve and turn
your actions and then your results so when you can change your thinking you can change your life
now it cites a study in which it says the most 10 of successful happiest people actually
had two things that they thought about most of the time that was what they wanted and how to get it
so they thought about their goals and the actions that they could take to achieve them now what
you find is a successful person may think about something it motivates them they get ideas they do
that and then the cycle continues upwards they then feel happier and more motivated when they
achieve these things allowing them to go on and go on and achieve more as one of the co-authors as a
psychologist it's not surprising that upbringing is mentioned in this in which some parents would
have a control in attitude in which you say you can't do that which may well be appropriate at
the time if a child is going to run under a train for example but that may then lead the child to
develop in future life fear of failure and there's also conditional love in which a parent may say
I'll do I love you if you do this or perhaps more subtly and that may lead to a fear of rejection
the other thing that you could see is that if somebody is over concerned with other people
and often hypersensitive to reactions from others and they feel that they're being persecuted
at times this person may have been raised with destructive criticism and a lack of love
and really I'm mentioning that because you need to be aware of how that could impact you to the
current day and others around you now the majority of emotions that you feel are dictated by how you
talk to yourself and people with good self-esteem talk to themselves well and they're a pleasure to
be around so you'll find in different situations they will tend to thrive so what we want to do is
rule out negative emotions now there's four they like lists in this book there's four factors that
create negative emotions one is justification you're going about saying yeah the reason I
feel bad about that is because of this and you're preoccupied with a situation trying to tell others
about how difficult it is and you're actually not doing yourself favours there a second is taking
things personally something happens it was because of me and you then find it's hard to objectively
move on thirdly being hyper sensitive to others thoughts opinions and attitudes and fourthly
judgment judging others harshly often you'll then find something if you look hard enough for anybody
you'll find something that they're guilty of potentially and if you do this you can harbour
resentment and it isn't helpful so one of your great goals in life would be to actually eliminate
these negative emotions you know the most powerful things that you could do to try and build yourself
up is to think I like myself and I am responsible and saying these repeatedly will actually help you
I quite like the bit in this book about the three mental laws so one of them is the law of emotion
and this says that really what emotion you're holding in your head at the moment
really dictates your conscious mind so if you can deliberately put positive things unconsciously
you're getting good things the subconscious kicks in everything good happens the second is a lure of
habit now this is what you do repeatedly becomes a new habit and good habits are
easy or easy to break but hard to form but if you can get in the the mindset of doing
good productive habits it will help and one of the main habits here is about positive thinking
now the other the third final law of thinking it mentions is the law of substitution this is that
you can really only think your brain can only hold so much so if you've got something negative in
there something positive isn't replacing it but equally if you can clear your mind of negative
things we'll just be filled with positive things and this will be fantastic for you
mentions also a little bit about near-death experiences in which they've interviewed people
or more quoted other people have interviewed them and seemingly there's two questions you're asked
and then what have you learned and how have you increased your capacity to love
now I'll let you all reflect on those but that's just what they're saying here so
another tip to success here is to eliminate the two words if only so what you may find
is that some people will say yeah but this didn't happen if only this other thing had
happened then things would have worked out the fact is the other thing has happened
so you need to deal with it and get on with it he mentions a bit about communication really
listening more and building trust by listening so if you're listening lean forward attentively
listen pause don't think about what you're going to say deeply listen to what they're saying then
perhaps paraphrase what they've said ask a few questions to clarify their views before responding
in addition the book mentions self-esteem now there's the central role of self-esteem
in success happiness and good relationships and a core driver of self-esteem is self-efficiency and
that's how good you are at getting things done so really if you can think of a new challenge
that you can think this is an opportunity to build up your self-esteem your courage your confidence
and this can really propel you on to bigger goals in future i do hope you found that helpful
feel free to like and subscribe and i hope to see you all next time take care