- Hello and welcome to this month's Maggie moment.
Today I want to talk
about a sad topic.
I want to talk about when a pet
that you've had for a long time,
is nearing the end of their life
or is going to need
to be what we call euthanized
or put to sleep.
Because this is a conversation
I've had with a couple of parents who wanted to know,
do I tell my children
and at what age do I tell my children
and do I take my children with them
to the vet where this happens?
So they're all great questions.
The very first thing I want to say is
well done for having a pet for that long.
'Cause seriously, it is about an extension of family.
The more that our children
learn about loving dynamics
of four legged friends
or two legged friends as well,
It's the same thing.
So again, when this is going to happen,
our children need to know about
the concept of death.
And many of you heard me speak about that,
that I think this is a concept we need to talk about
much earlier than we tend to.
So death means that the body
is no longer going to be working
and therefore the animal would become deceased.
So when your children know that your cat or your dog,
something that's lived for a long time
is getting old,
they'll notice that it can't move as well.
They will notice that
it may be going to the vet a bit more
to be checked on,
so they're already aware that
the end is going to happen.
And there are two things that need to happen.
So we let the pet die naturally in our home environment
or we allow the vet to do that for us
in a loving and gentle way.
Have those conversations gently.
So you're gradually building
your child's awareness that the end of your pet's life
is coming closer.
It's much better than gradually saying,
"look, they've got old,
"so we're gonna have to put them down."
That's just way too blunt.
So gradually preparing them
is a really important part of it.
Then as you get to that point,
have a conversation that,
and I really believe this,
I've had pets that have lived to 14 and 15.
I believe they start to tell us,
they don't bounce out of their
basket as quickly.
They're not wagging their tail as much.
She won't be meowing
or doing some beautiful.
So their behaviour starts to change.
And I think it's helpful to let your children know
that's a sign that things are getting a bit hard
for our cat or our dog to enjoy being in our lives.
And then that choice,
do we let them die?
That will be a conversation
I believe that children can be a part of.
So when you know,
when the pet's giving you a sign
or there's another thing that gets diagnosed
and it's time for the euthanasia to happen,
give your child a choice and say,
"we are going to go in
"and if you would like to come,
"that's fine."
But what we want you to do is
actually let them know that all that happens,
they're getting mild sedative
and then the euthanasia
is put in the needle
and seriously they literally just become soft
and they just lie down
and it's like they're in a really deep sleep.
It's not traumatic,
especially when your children know
that they're surrounded
and being pattered
and held by the people who love them the most.
It can be an exquisitely beautiful experience
for children and grownups.
And it hurts like heck
because no matter how much preparation
your heart's going to hurt,
so your challenge after that,
is being honest around grief,
is being able to cry openly,
is being able to look at a beautiful big photo of them
and say how much we miss them.
It's about sharing stories about the fun times
and letting our kids
gradually adapt to the fact that
that amazing loving presence is no longer in your home.
Yep, it's not an easy journey.
However, life does that to us at times.
The more honest you are
in age appropriate ways,
the easier your child will grow through that experience
and take that experience with them
for the rest of their lives.
And consciously, keep reminding them of fun times.
Get the photograph album out now
if you haven't already printed off some big,
big pictures to remind them
that it was really absolutely worth it
every single minute.
And I hope that helps all of you.
And already my heart just bumps around
'cause I've lost a few of my beautiful dogs along the way.
I remember every single one of them
equally as passionately,
and that's all from me today.