- [Nick] There's a hater in the house, should I get 'em?
- [All] Let's get 'em!
- Aye, cameraman. She on my team, but I had to do it
because I love the show so much, it's nostalgic.
She remind me of my childhood.
Give it up for Darkwing Duck right here.
Right beside me, it's Darkwing Duck.
(audience cheers) (buzzer)
- Let's go, Jacob.
- All right, well.
Everyone says I'm kind of an expert on rap.
(audience laughs)
I don't really know much about rap,
but compared to Nick Cannon, I'm an expert, so.
(audience laughs)
- I'm on your team!
- Your topic is fashion. (Upbeat hip hop music)
- Now you wild out.
♪ This jacket hot as hell, this jacket hot as hell ♪
♪ Boy, I'm hot as hell, now you wild out ♪
♪ I'm never dressing like you, never dressing like you ♪
♪ Never dressing like you, now you wild out ♪
♪ You rocking baby clothes, you rocking baby clothes ♪
♪ You rocking baby clothes, now you wild out ♪
♪ Your girl fold 'em for me, your girl fold 'em for me ♪
♪ Your girl fold 'em for me, now you wild out ♪
♪ You shop at Toys"R"Us, you shop at Toys"R"Us ♪
♪ You shop at Toys"R"Us, now you wild out ♪
♪ He got a turban on, (beep) got a turban ♪
- You on my team! (bell dings repeatedly)
(audience cheers)
- That's my little brother, y'all!
My blood brother and he wanted to be something
with his life, and look at him.
He a college graduate, now he on the show.
(audience cheers)
- And remember all that stuff you was telling me
about Lous at the crib?
So, we gonna get to the bottom of this, bro.
(audience exclaims)
We 'bout to find out right now.
- [Emmanuel] Big ass shoes.
(audience laughs)
I'm on your team, I'm sorry.
- Man, leave me alone. All right.
- [DC] (beep) shoes big! (audience laughs)
- [Chico Bean] Ah!
♪ I said they call 'em big stomps ♪
♪ A big stomps ♪ - Cannons' got big feet!
- Anyway, I'm trying to ask your man
some very important questions right now.
- [Chico Bean] Let your shoes ask him.
(audience laughs)
(DC screams)
- Order in this court, please, DJ D-Wrek?
- He want the shoe, nothing but the shoe!
(audience cheers) (all laugh)
(buzzer buzzes repeatedly)
- Shoo! (all laugh)
- Shoop! Shoop!
- [All] Shoop! Shoop! Shoop! Shoop! Shoop! Shoop! Shoop!
(audience cheers)
- Uh, Ms. Chyna?
Let me get straight to the point.
So lately, you've had a reputation of dating rappers,
you know, just to help them sell they music.
(audience laughs) (Black Chyna laughs)
Would you ever consider dating Nick?
(audience cheers) (audience laughs)
- Yes.
(audience cheers)
- I'm going platinum!
(Black Chyna laughs)
(audience cheers)
He ain't playing yet. Let's come on.
- How many charges y'all get, man?
- My question ain't even for you.
You cool. (audience laughs)
I wanna ask Nick some stuff.
(Nick laughs) (audience laughs)
- You on my team.
- Nah, 'cause you be going on podcasts saying my name.
"Who the most hated cast member?
Karlous, Karlous, Karlous."
(audience laughs)
- I thought we got past this? All right.
- No, we ain't got past nothing!
(audience laughs)
We ain't got past nothing!
- You on my team!
- I don't care! (audience laughs)
My question for you is,
you be wearing all these turbans,
talking all this Black Power stuff.
Black consciousness, Black righteousness.
Look at these "Wild 'N Out" girls.
Most of them is white. (audience exclaims)
No, no! - Hold on.
- I ain't done. I'm not done!
(Nick laughs)
Got all these kids! 50-11 kids!
(audience laughs)
When you gon' have some kids with a Black woman?
(audience cheers)
A full Black woman? (audience laughs)
- When does this episode air? (Nick laughs)
(audience laughs) (DJ D-Wrek laughs)
(audience cheers) - Ah!
Homeboy got some more kids on the way!
(bell dings repeatedly)
- My boy, Nick Cannon, is so fly.
- [All] How fly is he?
- He don't need to be a rapper to be successful
because he has personality!
(audience applauds)
- You better not.
You know Nick don't got no personality
in real life. (buzzer)
Thank you! (audience laughs)
- Yerr! - [Audience] Yerr!
- Focus, B.
- Aye, my wife, Lisa Raye, is so fly!
- [All] How fly is she?
- I gave up eating these snacks
with a chance to (beep) this snack!
(audience cheers) (bell dings)
- [Emmanuel] What's up with you?
What's up with you, bro?
- You don't need no skinny (beep).
- [Emmanuel] Nah, nah. Watch out, man.
What's up with you, bro?
- [Nick] Y'all on the same team!
- What's up with you, bro?
- What's up? - What's up with you, bro?
- I wish you would! - It's like that?
It's like that? - [Big Mack] It's not real.
- We on the same team, bro!
We on the same team, bro!
- [Nick] Let 'em fight! - Okay, that's a bet.
- It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
Relax, relax, relax. (audience laughs)
(DJ D-Wrek laughs) Focus, focus.
- He don't need them no more, he got me.
(all exclaim)
(bell dings repeatedly)
- My man, Nick Cannon, is so fly.
- [Audience] How fly is he?
- I put his home address in my GPS
and it took me to dog doodoo.
(audience laughs)
'Cause flies be on dog doodoo,
so if I put the add... (gun cocks)
(gun shoots) (audience laughs)
- My brother, Davido, is so fly.
- [Audience] How fly is he?
- He was born in Atlanta, then went back to his country.
And brought one of the flies with him,
'cause if you... (audience cheers)
(bell dings)
- Yo. My man, Nick Cannon, is so fly.
- [Audience] How fly is he?
- He can wear (beep) like this and still be fly.
(audience laughs) (bell dings)
- These is Red Bottoms. These is bloody shoes.
- Yo, my man, Perez Hilton, is so petty.
- [All] How petty is he?
- He only on the show 'cause he was in the neighborhood
and he ain't have nothing else better to do.
(audience laughs) (bell dings repeatedly)
- [Nick] That's yo' teammate! (air horn honks)
- I'm Cynthia Bailey's- (men faintly chattering)
Yo, my fault, y'all.
Yo. - [Conceited] Chill, (beep).
- Bugging. Yo, Con, stop talking while I'm doing.
You bugging. - Then go.
- [Emmanuel] Man, shut up.
- [Conceited] Bro, this is a show.
- [Charlie] Yo, I'm not joking right now.
Y'all (beep)- - [Conceited] Go (beep)!
- [Charlie] (beep) you keep talking and when you...
Yo! Con, what do you keep talking for then?
(audience exclaims)
- [Conceited] Seriously. - [Charlie] Seriously what?
- [Conceited] Bro, bro, bro. (audience exclaims)
- What? = [Man] Yo, chill, man.
- Yo, what are y'all- - [Men] Got 'em!
(bell dings) (audience cheers)
- [Cynthia] Oh, goddamn!
(audience cheers)
- Hey! How you doing?
Your name Lais? Like lies?
(audience laughs)
You a Victoria's Secret model with a name like Lias?
Lias look like the girl that was doing Ayo and Tayo braids
and stopped on number two.
(audience laughs) (bell dings)
(audience applauds)
(audience cheers) Yeah!
Summer Rae.
That sound like a kind of orange juice right there.
♪ Start your day with a glass of Summer Rae ♪
(audience laughs) All right, uh.
Look, Summer Rae, I ain't really got too much to say,
but look at Nick legs.
Look how skinny his legs is. (audience laughs)
Oh my God, boy!
You got the legs like the little bugs off "Men In Black"
that was smoking the cigarettes.
(audience laughs)
Why you laughing?
I'ma remix your song, though.
You remember your song?
♪ You a Jiggalo and you host a show ♪
♪ Even though you got legs like a flamingo ♪
(audience laughs) (bell dings)
Come on, Nick!
(audience cheers)
Real quick, Atlanta. I got a question.
Is cable television free here?
- [Audience] No. - [Chico Bean] No?
Well, could y'all help me understand
how so many damn crack heads been recognizing me?
It don't make no sense. (audience laughs)
You know they watch the show
'cause they been coming up, saying the wrong stuff.
Like, "Chico Bean, cut the beat."
I'm like, "That ain't my (beep)!"
(audience laughs)
(bell dings)
Let me get some dap.
You know what dap is?
All right, cool.
I'm just making sure 'cause you white.
You know what I'm saying?
(audience exclaims)
(audience cheers)
- Hey, Sara. How you doing, baby?
(Sara mumbles)
Now, I always wanted to be a Victoria's Secret model.
(DC scoffs) But, uh.
(audience laughs)
(bell dings twice)
- [Man] Oh my!
(all laugh)
(audience cheers) - I have nothing.
But what I do know is you dressed in a Pop-Tart wrapper.
(audience laughs)
= [DJ D-Wrek] Nope, nope!
- [Emmanuel] She did!
(bell dings) She did!
Oh my God. I hate you so much, DJ D-Wrek.
- [Karlous] Aye, Jersey?
Turn up! - [All] Turn up for what?
- 'Cause the homie, Nick, got a new daytime talk show
that's taking up all his time,
so he can't go to the studio and make no music!
(all laugh) (upbeat hip hop music)
(bell dings) - [Audience] Hey, hey!
(audience cheers)
= Covington, turn up.
- [All] Turn up for what?
- 'Cause I just found out I was losing my eyesight.
(audience aws)
But now I ain't gotta look at no more of Nick's outfits!
(audience cheers) (upbeat hip hop music)
(bell dings)
- [Nick] Would you like me to take it off?
- [Chico Bean] Nah, nah, nah.
- Liars in Covington, turn up!
- [All] Turn up for what?
- Because my niece wanted this little plastic doll,
but all the stores had ran out.
So, I brought the life-sized one!
(audience cheers) (upbeat hip hop music)
(bell dings) - [Audience] Hey, hey, hey!
- Aye, listen fat Rip. Yo, check it. Yo.
♪ You have to lift your gut just to check your balls ♪
♪ Only thing higher than my credit's your cholesterol ♪
(audience exclaims) (bell dings)
- Okay. Okay.
♪ Now listen, Squirt Gun Kelly, you a real diva ♪
♪ And with a red wig, you probably look like Justina ♪
(audience cheers) (bell dings)
- Oh! (Corey imitates engine)
♪ The Wildstyle need to come with better rules ♪
♪ I'm 'bout to do it bigger than your lil' brother shoes ♪
(audience laughs) (bell dings)
♪ Then your lil' brother shoes ♪
♪ I'm 'bout to do it bigger than your lil' brother shoes ♪
♪ Look at these, these is his red boots ♪
♪ They bigger than hell and you know he gon' shoop ♪
♪ Like they boom, step ♪
♪ Boom, step ♪ (bell dings)
♪ Boom, step, what you gon' do, Nick brother ♪
♪ Chico, stop playing, ain't no need to amp ♪
♪ You know his lil' brother is the kickball champ ♪
♪ Said the kickball champ, he be booting it long ♪
(bell dings)
♪ His brother boot so big, you know that you wrong ♪
♪ Chico Beans, you do stand up ♪
♪ Somebody shoulda remind me ♪
♪ But Nick bought "85 South" up like the Bulls in the 90s ♪
- [Chico Bean] Okay. (bell dings)
♪ You sound like a (beep), when you run, it sound like this ♪
♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom ♪ (audience laughs)
♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom ♪ (bell dings)
- [Hitman] Aye, Chico. ♪ Nick brother shoe ♪
♪ You know I be spitting ♪
♪ Imagine getting jumped ♪
♪ And hearing Nick tell your brother get some kicks in ♪
(all laugh) (bell dings)
- You on his team!
♪ Yeah, his shoes be booming ♪
♪ When he walk, the devil be like, what y'all up there doing ♪
(audience laughs) (bell dings repeatedly)
(Doug E. Fresh beatboxes)
♪ Oh, oh, I said we kick it old school ♪
♪ On the Wild 'N Out screen ♪
♪ It wouldn't be old school without Chico Bean ♪
- Okay, hey.
(audience cheers) - Hey, Chico Bean.
♪ Without Chico Bean ♪
♪ Wouldn't be old school without Chico Bean ♪
♪ Hey, yo, you know what it is ♪
♪ I'ma kick it off the dome ♪
♪ Got Doug E. Fresh here on the microphone ♪
♪ I don't know why ♪ (bell dings)
♪ I gotta kick it like this ♪
♪ The old school fools and we in the mix ♪
♪ I said, Chico Bean, and you know what I do ♪
♪ We got Doug E. Fresh in here with the old school crew ♪
♪ It's the new school fools and I don't know them, dude ♪
♪ Especially that dude standing right behind you ♪
♪ Say, Doug E., let me hear you kick it ♪
♪ Let me hear you drop it, let me hear you rock it ♪
♪ Hey, I said, old school, one-time Karlous sim ♪
♪ Ain't nobody in the game that can rap like them ♪
♪ I'ma kick it off the Henn, and I'ma pass it to you ♪
♪ Let the people in the crowd see what you can do ♪
♪ I said, let me just kick it, just one mo' chance ♪
♪ So I can try to get bigger than Lauren's pants ♪
♪ I said, let me just kick it, just one more chance ♪
♪ I'ma tryna get bigger than Lauren's pants ♪
(bell dings repeatedly) (audience cheers)
(air horn honks)
(upbeat hip hop music) - All right, all right.
DJ, cut the beat.
(record scratches) (audience exclaims)
You better watch what you say and give me some space
before I Chris Rock you and leave some fresh prints
on your face! (audience exclaims)
(bell dings) I have something for you
and you might be confused. - [DJ D-Wrek] Wow!
- Oh, here it is.
Condoms. Something you never use.
(audience exclaims) (bell dings)
- Okay! (guys cross talk)
She came up in here,
spitting, ripping, and had props, too!
Hell, yeah, I use these (beep) if I can use 'em with you.
(all exclaim) (audience cheers)
(bell dings) - Con, Con!
I know short jokes are very mean, but let's be real.
What's a pawn to a queen? (all exclaim)
(bell dings) - [Emmanuel] Talk about it.
'Cause pawns are little.
- After this, this gon' be the biggest meme.
So (beep) it, I'm about to switch teams.
- [Nick] Oh! (audience exclaims)
Big Mack, I think you're really witty.
You got great jokes. - [Nick] Go crazy!
- Big rhymes and bigger titties.
(audience cheers) (bell dings)
- [Big Mack] Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Nah, nah, nah. You take your ass back over there.
(audience laughs)
When white girls talk, I don't hear nothing they saying.
And looking at you in the face,
you look like Shawn Wayans.
(audience laughs) (bell dings)
I'm talking all this (beep), I hope that you get this.
You can only play both sides
because of your white privilege.
(all exclaim) (bell dings)
Facts.
- I know you got the beat, but they call you Big Mack
because you are what you eat. (audience exclaims)
- Ooh! (bell dings)
- Hey, I am what I eat. That is true.
I eat a lot of (beep), but I won't eat you.
(all exclaim) (bell dings)