Porn thoughts. Why they keep intruding in your mind
on your porn, brain rewire journey and how to stop them for ever.
I'm Dr. Trish Leigh.
I'm going to share with you my best two tips in this video.
But first, what we're going to talk about is what's happening in your brain
that makes those porn thoughts fire up
Secondly, what we're going to talk about is what they mean for you.
They are a call for healing and nothing more.
They're not even sexual.
So first, what's going on in that brain?
Secondly, what do they need?
And third, what you can do about it?
My best two tips.
So let's dig in.
Number one, what happens in your brain when you have a porn
thought or an intrusive thought or euphoric recall?
So what it can be is either images
or literally the scenes of what you've been consuming.
Some people have euphoric recall or fantasy
about people that they've been with in the past.
Others have fantasy of people that they want to be with in the future.
But let's say you're working away and you know you're at work
and your brain has a porn thought pop into it.
It is a call for stimulation or calming.
It is a call to de-stress.
Most of the time, or possibly, that you need
a break to bring that hyper arousal down.
Now, if you're a person who's stuck on the couch, you still might have hyper
arousal going on.
But it also is a call for stimulation because you're bored or you lack
motivation that comes from hitting the easy button and going into the screen.
It creates the feelings of anxiety and depression and lack of motivation.
Difficulty thinking We know this, but it creates it,
and then it will call to you to solve it,
keeping you trapped in this cycle forever.
So I want you to know that what is happening in your brain
is likely your brain is going too fast.
So if you've been working for a while and your brain's like, hmm,
and it has this intrusive thought pop in, it is time for a break.
But I want you to know, number two, that that thought is just a call to de-stress.
It's a call to regulate your mood.
And we're going to do it in two ways.
The ways we're going to do it is number one, we're going to set up
an offensive plan, one that's actually going to take us through this journey.
Number two, we're going to set up a defensive plan
and there's two strategies that you can do my best to tips.
And there's two strategies that you can use
in the very moment that that thought pops in.
OK, so we go back to your at work and this thought pops into your mind.
Your offensive plan is that ahead of time,
you are going to set up your life so that it's dopamine producing.
And the caveat here is that's going to take a little time,
because if you've trained your brain like a puppy just to go back into the screen
and hit the easy button and get the dopamine flood, it
takes a little while to train your brain that now
it goes to work, it goes to relationships, it goes to hobbies.
It balances itself across your day with lower levels of dopamine.
Instead of going into a day that stresses you out
and then you take the edge off with porn.
Now your day is going to fill you with enjoyment,
but that transition and that transformation takes a little bit of time.
So you have to have patience and grace with yourself during that time frame.
But so in the meantime, you're working away and the thought comes in.
The offensive plan is you take breaks throughout your day
and you do the things that I've been teaching you to do.
You do the aspects of your work that you like, and you can
especially do them later in the day and get through the grind early.
Then you make sure you have connection in your life
daily, even if it's texting an accountability partner.
If it's chatting with friends, if it's touching base
with your parents, connect with other people and connect with many people.
That is the way that you get open mind from relationships.
Repair your relationship with your honey if it's on the rocks.
Because of this situation, if you don't have a honey, go to places
where you might meet a like minded person that you could attract with your energy.
That's how you get dopamine
from relationships and of course, get out there and do your hobbies.
That is the offensive plan, but I want you to know about it in this way.
Flexible schedule your life so that it's getting dopamine
across your days and across your life.
That's how you can ward those thoughts off, because now you'll
start thinking about the basketball game you have on Saturday.
You'll start thinking about dinner with friends you have on Thursday, you'll
start thinking about the cool work project that you can't wait to get started on.
And when you have those new thoughts, you're going to push out
those old thoughts that call for de-stressing.
So often man offense wins the game. Remember that?
OK, so what is your defensive plan?
The thought pops in and you're working.
Your defensive plan is to not grab that thought.
Do not grab that thought. You run away.
You do not walk away from that thought.
You're going to replace it.
So the first way that you can replace an unhealthy fantasy
thought is to replace it with a healthy fantasy thought.
So here's the idea.
A sexual thought pops into your mind and it starts the dopamine flowing.
And you might feel it physically.
You need to stop that thought and swap it out for a healthy thought.
That, of course, is going to produce less dopamine in the short run.
But in the long run, you need to train your brain, your little puppy.
You need to train that brain that when it's stressed, it's going
to get lower levels of dopamine and it's going to have to work for it a little bit.
And the way that it works is think about your favorite vacation ever.
Think about something funny that happened to yesterday.
Think about your favorite person.
Swap out the fantasy thoughts.
I'm literally cracking up in my mind right now, and I know this isn't funny
because you know how stories are in the retell.
We have had this pile that needs to be donated of stuff
that my husband cleaned out because he's making himself a man cave.
So it's ridiculous.
I should put a picture of it on my Instagram account.
It is a pile of stuff.
And so then he just put one of those blue moving blankets over it.
It's in the garage.
And when you pass our house, you can see in our garage
from this kind of main street in our neighborhood.
He put this blue moving blanket on top of it.
And there's these two masks that actually we got on our honeymoon.
They're from somewhere like in the Caribbean.
They're cool, actually, but they're getting old.
These two masks sitting on top of them, which it's literally
like a junk pile covered in a blanket that's decorated.
It's so ridiculous.
So he's talking about the file today, and I come back in
from taking the kids to school
and they have masks in the pile as masks on it. It's so tidy.
My husband's very tidy,
but the fact that we are donated this pile, I know it's not funny to you,
but literally it's very dopamine producing to me.
It cracks me up, and that's something that happened this morning.
And that's the thing that happened to me this morning.
They'll be a thing that happens to me
this afternoon, and they'll be a thing that happens to me tonight
because I look for those funny moments in my days and I get them.
That's what I want you to do.
Swap out that thought and swap it in for something that produces dopamine.
And I hope you can find the joy in a pile of crap that needs to be donated.
I hope you can find that because that's the spice of life.
And when you do that across your days, I'm telling you life changes.
You don't need to go into the easy button.
It's all there for the taking in the world.
Set up the offensive plan of a life that brings you joy.
Now, of course, my life is a little grueling too,
because that was on my way back from school after
I got five kids ready to go to school breakfast, lunch PSAT.
Today, I had to find a graphing calculator,
which literally we own three of them, and it took me an hour to find one.
Actually, Decland had to loan Fiona hers because I never found another one,
but I could still find the joy in all of that.
That's what I want for you.
OK, so that's the that is the defensive plan.
But going back to your offensive plan, connect your real life,
but you can connect it in fantasy, swap the fantasy out.
Now secondarily, and this one's actually better
pull your head, pull your mind,
pull your brain back out of fantasy
and ground it in the real world.
Have something in your immediate environment that's dopamine producing.
So put a picture of your honey right there if he or she brings you joy.
Put a picture of your favorite beach
that you like to go to or your favorite Mountain View.
Put pictures here or set up your environment so that you love it.
I love my office.
It's so peaceful.
This is literally one of my favorite places to be.
So when I sit here and I bring myself back into my reality,
my reality is very dopamine producing.
It calms me. It makes me feel good.
It makes my brain juice up and want to do 100 hours of work
because I've created an environment that feels that way.
If your environment isn't like that.
Create an environment that you find dopamine producing.
It might be different for you than it is for me.
This is very peaceful, and this is very much my vibe.
So create that in your actual present life.
Pull your head out of fantasy back into your reality where you can get dopamine.
So I want to just reiterate them, and they will wrap up the two ways
that you can keep those thoughts
from intruding in your mind and you can switch them real quick
is either switch the fantasy from sexual to non-sexual, so that becomes
healthy fantasy fantasizing about the vacation you're going to take.
Thinking about the funny thing that happened to you?
Healthy thoughts. Healthy fantasy.
See, that will give you dopamine, you're going to trick your brain into thinking
the dopamine that just got released has to do with this other healthy
fantasy or number two pull your brain out of fantasy .
Pull it back into your
immediate environment and give it something dopamine producing.
And so when people join my program, I have them create a pivot plan
kit with things that do just that.
So if you want in on that,
get into my 90 day program so you can create your own grounding.
Kick back in reality because it's awesome and it works.
OK, so those are the two tips.
What we're doing is we're swapping out that dopamine drip that started.
We're tricking your hijacker into thinking the dopamine is coming
from healthy fantasy or your real life and no longer those thoughts.
That's how they're going away,
and you'll have those new beautiful thoughts of your life replacing it
so that you can crack up about your junk pile.
OK, if you're looking for help on this journey, reach out to me.
I would absolutely love to help you if it feels good.
I have programs that are affordable in different shapes and sizes.
Go over to DrTrishLeigh.com Check it out.
And if it feels good, I'd love to see you.
And until next time, control your brain or it'll control you.