- When did you know that you had fallen out of love with me?
- I think there's a part of me that,
still is in love with you.
(gentle music)
- Who are you and what made you come here today?
- My name is Stacy, and I'm here because
my wife doesn't wanna be with me anymore.
- It was 30 chances to save your marriage, so why not?
- [Interviewer] Is that what you're looking to do today?
- Maybe, I actually, to be honest with you, don't know.
- I have an ex who I think I still may have feelings for.
It would be good for her to know how I feel.
- [Interviewer] So she has no idea.
- Yeah, no, she has no idea.
- I think I'm here to get some questions asked
about me and my ex.
- Kind of been chatting a little bit,
over the past couple of months,
and we've been really intentional about, like, our feelings.
- [Interviewer] What do you miss most
about the relationship?
- His spunk, his personality.
Growing up, like, I think we were just kind of the two
gay dudes that all the hood dudes respected,
like the gay Jay and Beyonce. (laughs)
(Interviewer laughing)
- [Woman] Hi, you okay?
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry.
- [Interviewer] So this is 30 questions.
- 30?
- [Interviewer] Yep.
- Hah.
- [Interviewer] To complete this experiment,
you have to answer every single question.
Each gets more intimate, and potentially more challenging.
At the end, you two must decide
if you should stay separated, or get back together.
- Okay.
- Is it okay to go ahead and pick?
- [Interviewer] Go ahead and start, yeah.
- Okay, let's recount when we first met.
How do you remember it?
- I just remember the night that started it all.
There was that dinner party at Melissa's house.
I found out that she didn't have a girlfriend anymore.
- You pounced? (laughs)
- I did. (laughs)
- And we met in geology class, but it was over zoom.
- Mm-hmm, we just love rocks.
- Yeah, and we were talking, then I texted you,
and then we met up and we went on a fun little date.
- Who is responsible for the breakup?
- Me, I did not know how to be somebody's partner.
- I think both of us, to be honest.
I feel like both of us
kind of needed to explore a little bit and like...
- Learn what we want.
- Yes. - Yes.
- That's a good way of phrasing it.
- Are you in love with someone else?
- Heck no. - Yeah, me either.
- Well, technically yes. - Our daughter?
- Yes, yes. - Mm-hmm, yeah.
- That's who I'm in love with.
- She's the only one that is okay right now.
- [Interviewer] How old is your daughter?
- She's two and a half, almost three.
- Yeah.
- Oh man, sexually, where can I improve?
- Being honest?
- Go for it. - If we're being honest, okay.
Head game.
- Yeah.
- Picking up the pace, you know with head comes variety.
- Yeah, I'm working on it, - Yeah.
- I'm trying.
- Kissing.
- What?
- Yeah, you kiss really aggressive.
- Like prison scene, come here like, yeah.
Let's go. (laughing)
- The fuck?
- Yeah, no.
- No? - No.
- Shit, all right. - Yeah.
- Why do you think we didn't work out?
- I don't think it's necessarily my fault,
but I think it's my issues,
the the postpartum set in, and then Covid happened,
I haven't had an opportunity to like, take a breath.
And now that I finally feel like I'm like,
I'm starting to feel a little bit better, it's too late.
You're already exhausted with me.
- I'm not exhausted with you, I'm just, emotions in general.
It's a lot.
- What is something you haven't told me since our break up?
- I'm still dealing with scars,
from like my last situation, - Mm-hmm.
- where it may appear, that like yes,
Deyante's confident, and all those things,
but there's a lot of things that I'm very insecure about.
- I was a little bit peeved that you kissed Marcy
on the dance floor, especially 'cause
we also kind of just stopped hooking up so,
that was a little weird, but- - Yeah.
- I'll get over it, I'm fine.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah I'm fine.
- [Interviewer] Are you still in love with her?
- Yes, I don't think she even realizes,
even how much she still really means to me.
- Ooh, I'm trying to get through these questions. (laughs)
- Where do you think we failed us?
- You still not having the time,
to allow me to get to know you, and for you
to get to know me.
- I think that it's a mutual thing,
I agree with what you're saying though.
- Well, the thing is, we can't be any of that
if we're not showing up. - Mm-hmm.
- And on multiple occasions, you don't show up.
His friends are everything to him.
We have been talking about hanging out, right?
For maybe the past, maybe two weeks,
and he has canceled on me like twice.
So with my abandonment issues,
that's very scary territory, you know?
- Why am I not good enough to be in a marriage with?
- I mean you are but, for the sake of this conversation,
you just say whatever you think I want to hear,
I sincerely, and genuinely, wanna hear how you're feeling,
and what your opinions are, and why you're frustrated,
or angry, or whatever.
- [Interviewer] Who do you think was the main person
not communicating properly?
- I will totally take that as me,
because I feel like I'm a person who tries to save
a person's feelings, and so I shut down.
- Have you slept with anyone since we've broken up?
Anyone I know, Meg? (laughs)
- Yes, yes.
- You wanna elaborate on that? (laughs)
- No, I don't.
- Have you slept with anyone since we've separated?
- No.
- Yeah, I believe you, I know you haven't.
- [Interviewer] Wait, have you Stacey?
- There's a hesitation there. (laughing)
- It depends on the context, but you already know.
- Yeah. - You already know
the answer to that.
- [Interviewer] What's the answer?
- Yes. - Yes.
- I did tell her, but I told her not extremely right away.
- [Interviewer] How long was - Okay let's...
- the wait time?
- Okay well you- - A few days.
- A few days?
It could be a few days, but it was the context
of how it came out.
I told you the truth about
one itty bitty little teeny tiny thing.
Oh, well you know what, there's something
I need to tell you too.
- Yeah, but- - Not cool man.
- I know, I know, and I'm not trying to defend myself,
at all, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you right away.
You wanna keep going?
- Yeah.
- You okay?
- Yeah.
- It's your turn.
- Call a friend, and ask them
if we should get back together.
- What about Bryonne?
- Okay, I call Bryonne.
- [Interviewer] Who's Bryonne?
- One of my childhood friends.
(phone ringing)
- [Julian] Hello?
- Hey Bryonne, so let me ask you a question.
Do you think that me and Coach T should get back together?
- [Julian] You really want to ask me that?
Oh, this is Julian, this is her husband. (laughs)
- Actually, I'll ask both of y'all.
- [Bryonne] If you feel comfortable, If he's trying,
and attempting, and showing you
that he can be trusted, then yes.
- Julian, since your ass is on the phone.
- [Julian] I remember you ghosted him,
but if you're ready willing to commit,
and you really like him, yes.
- Y'all tell him too much business, bye.
(all laughing)
- That was interesting,
because they had two different perspectives.
- What expectations didn't I meet as a partner?
- I would say sharing responsibilities.
- There was that intimacy missing for me.
- Yeah. - Yeah,
that was disappointing.
- Name three reasons why we shouldn't get back together.
Whoa.
- You're a soft kisser, (laughs)
you're busy, busy, busy.
- Are you sure busy is a real reason,
when you're the one that stands me up?
- I think we work better as friends,
I think romantically, not compatible.
We're very different people.
- I bring you down with my sadness, with my anger,
that's it.
- I think you're really beautiful, even when you cry.
Like, like right now, you're so beautiful.
- Here.
- When did you know that she had fallen outta love with me?
- I still love you, yeah, so I don't think that's the thing.
- I think there's a part of me
that still is in love with you.
I think back to a lot of those great times we had,
and I'm just like, oh yeah.
- I don't know, I think I just kind of put a lot of pressure
on the feeling, of trying to get to this feeling
of being in love, but.
- So you were never really in love?
- No, I know I have a lot of
love for you, - Mm-hmm.
- but yeah I just don't think it was working for me
in that way.
- Are you happier without me?
- No, are you happier without me?
- That's...
Kinda, only kind of, and that's being absolutely honest.
- Yeah, I mean I gonna get it.
- Are you happier without me?
- No, that's why I'm always trying so hard,
to be your friend, and to be in your life,
and to have us in each other's life, because I enjoy,
you know, you in my life.
So what about you, like are you happier without me?
- No.
- What would it take for you to give us another chance?
- I honestly don't know.
I feel that we need to take some time,
and figure out who the F we are, as people,
and as parents, before we even talk about
being together as a couple.
- I hear you, I just don't agree.
- And that's fine. - But I, you know,
it is what it is, last one.
I think this is actually the last one.
- Today, right now,
can we get back together, yes or no?
- Today, right now, no, yeah.
I think we still need to work on our friendship honestly.
Like we still need to continue to build,
our foundation of our trust.
- I don't really see that happening.
- Yeah.
- I think for us, boundaries have been
really tough, - Mm-hmm.
- and I think that, especially if we want
to keep our friendship going, I think that it's probably
necessary that we talk more about that.
- Okay, I'm down.
- [Interviewer] Are you gonna stay separated for now?
- Yes. - Yeah,
- [Interviewer] How do you feel about
walking away today not together?
- I'm angry, with her decision.
Because it doesn't feel like we've tried everything.
- There's a big part of me that's resolving,
is, just seeing where things go.
- Yeah, how was that?
- I think that we've had these conversations,
and kind of danced around a lot of those questions,
but I think that this was really great,
for whatever we're building.
- Hopefully we continue to build, and continue to grow,
and get to know each other, whom we currently are.
Because I am not the same person I was before, so.
- [Interviewer] How was it hearing
that he was so in love with you?
- That was weird for sure.
He's never told me that.
- [Interviewer] Do you think honestly with time,
you'll get back together?
- There's a part of me that wants to believe that.
From what I heard today, it sounds like
she's pretty over it.
- [Interviewer] Do you think anywhere, like down the line
you'll get back together?
- No.
No.
(gentle violin music)