How is sex handled differently in Germany and the U.S.? Here’s what I’m thinking,
let me know down in the comments what you’re thinking.
Hey everyone, Dana here.
In both the USA and Germany there are of course all different kinds of people with lots of
different views on sex, but overall in general, from media and movies, TV shows, the way that
people talk about sex, the way that I learned about sex, the way that sex seems to be presented
and discussed and treated in the two countries, I have noticed some differences.
Specifically the fact that from my experience in general people in Germany seem to be, like,
more laid back, a lot calmer...more comfortable when it comes to the topic of sex and sex in general.
Let’s start with the fact that when I first started dating Stefan we were hanging out
one evening together at his parent’s house.
I don’t really know exactly what time it was. It was late but not that late.
I think like 11:30 p.m. or so.
And I’m flipping through the TV channels when I come across a porno film.
Like a legit porno film, just playing on TV.
And I asked Stefan if his parents had some kind of special TV box, if they were getting
some kind of, you know, special channels that they paid extra for.
Nope, this was just one of the standard channels in Germany and in the evening sometimes it ran pornos.
Totally no big deal. Like, yeah. During the day other stuff. And in the evening sometimes pornos.
In other videos I’ve also mentioned that here in Germany people are a lot more comfortable
with nudity and the naked body in general here than in the U.S.
And while being comfortable with nakedness does not equal being comfortable with sex,
definitely does not equal that, I would say if you’re not comfortable with nakedness,
if you’re not comfortable with being naked and the naked body in general.
If that, if the naked body in general makes you uncomfortable in and of itself, if the
naked body is a taboo or something to be ashamed of, which is the feeling that I get in general
in the U.S., well then it wouldn't surprise me if people aren’t all that comfortable
in general with the topic of sex.
Like I said, I’ve mentioned this in a few other videos before, and I’ll link to some
of them up in the corner and down in the description box below, but yeah, from breastfeeding to
sauna use to doctor’s visits to laying out in the park in the summer, to naked zones
in the city to advertisements to erotic magazines, which I’ve often seen just chilling there
in the gas station right out in the open next to the other magazines here in Germany,
no need to cover up the front cover or anything like that, there is a difference in comfort-level
when it comes to the naked body in Germany and the USA, with Germany in general being
more comfortable with it.
Then there’s sex education.
I have also mentioned this one in another video before, talked a little bit about the
horror, the absolute catastrophe that was the sex education that I received in middle school
in the U.S. Oh my God, I am lucky and I am really glad that I had parents who I
felt comfortable going home to and talking about it with because wow, what they were
teaching us in school was….not good. It was bad.
All over the USA schools do give different kinds of sex education.
Some are much better than others.
But a lot of schools in the U.S. teach what is called abstinence only or abstinence-based
sex education.
Abstinence in this case means not having any sex at all.
So basically the “sex education” program that I was taught at age, like, 12-13 was that
the only safe sex that there was before marriage was no sex at all.
That's what we were taught.
That 100% no sex was the only safe sex before marriage.
And not just taught this, like, in passing, but no.
It was drilled into our brains.
No sex is the only safe sex, no sex is the only safe sex, no sex is the only safe sex,
no sex is the only safe sex.
And then we were taught about STDs, so that in case we weren’t totally sold on the whole
no sex is the only safe sex thing already, we were then shown slides of genitals projected
up onto the wall with an overhead projector, all different kinds of STDs, and we were told
that if we had sex, that would be us.
That was my sex education in middle school. And yeah, in a word it was horrifying.
And as I said before, sex education does range throughout the U.S., and I have heard from
some other Americans who said that they got much better sex education in school than I did,
that they had a comprehensive sex education program at their school, but I was going to
a pretty big public school in south Florida, and this was the sex education program being
taught at my school and lots of other schools in the area.
According to the CDC, and I will put a link down in the description box below, in 2014
about fifty percent of middle schools in the U.S. and about three-quarters of high schools
were teaching sex education with an abstinence-based program.
I will also link down in the description to findings that showed that comprehensive sex
education was in fact able to improve knowledge, change attitudes, affect outcomes and behaviors,
while abstinence-based sex education was not.
Please let me know in comments, did you have abstinence only based sex education in school
or a more comprehensive sex education curriculum, what was your experience like?
I've talked to lots of different Germans about this topic and so far I haven’t found anyone
who was taught abstinence only in schools in Germany.
And also whenever I ask Germans about this, it really seems to me like it's a non-topic for them.
I ask about sex education and they’re like yeah, duh, of course we had sex education in school. Of course.
No big deal. Whereas in the U.S. sex education is a big deal.
From my experience before being taught about sex education in school a letter goes home
to all the parents and the parents have to sign off on their child learning about sex,
and parents can and do sometimes say, like, no I don’t want my child learning about
that, and then the child doesn’t do the sex education program.
When reading some articles to prepare for this video, and I’ll link to some down in
the description box below, I learned that actually in Germany the courts rules that
parents were not allowed to stop their kids from learning about sex education in school
for any reason, also not for religious reasons.
It’s part of the Schulpflicht, the compulsory school attendance here in Germany.
Whereas in America, parents can and as I said do sometimes say no, I don’t want my child
learning about sex, for whatever reason that they have. Or, you know, no reason at all.
And I have also gotten the feeling that in Germany, again in general, in Germany people
seem to be more chilled, more relaxed, I guess, when sex is talked about at home or when something
about sex comes on TV.
I would say I have a really great relationship with my parents - hi Mom and Dad!
We are super close.
And yet I definitely do not feel comfortable, for example, watching a stand-up comedy show
with my parents if the comedian then starts making sex jokes. Oh my God, no.
It is so uncomfortable for me.
Whereas in Germany, I get the feeling that people are, yeah, just kind of a lot more
chill about something like that.
Like if sex is being talked about or if something, the topic of sex comes up on TV I just feel
like here in Germany, I don't know...people don't seem to get all squeamish and nervous
and embarrassed about that topic.
But those are just my experiences, what have been your individual experiences with that
and your general observations in the two countries? Please let me know in the comments.
So my question for you is: Do you think people are more comfortable with the topic of sex
in Germany than in the U.S?
What about in other countries around the world?
Please let me know in the comments below. Thanks so much for watching.
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