A conversation that I tried to have
with my immigrant mum that was surprising
was the first time that we talked about abortion.
(squeamish whimpering)
Controversial. Yeah.
So my mom was raised Catholic
and I actually didn't know that she would be funny.
I mean it makes total sense--
Your mom's so cool though.
Yeah, she's chill. Like real progressive.
I know, so that's why when her opinion on abortion
was like, she wasn't cool with it, I was like wow!
I think at the end of last year,
my mom, she came up to me once,
'cause she's been seeing this person,
this man called Ken,
but she was being real awkward
and she came up and she was like,
"Do you think it would be okay if, I don't know,
"like if I just, if Ken was my boyfriend?"
And I was like "I thought you already were."
But then I thought, why not use this as a moment
to blackmail her a little bit?
Just to make the most of the situation?
And I was like, I'm totally fine with it as long as you
stop asking me about trying to find a partner.
And so I got something out of it.
She gets a boyfriend, I get to be left alone.
Yeah.
(slow percussive music)
I'm Saraid.
And I'm Julie.
And we are co-producers--
And co-hosts! Co-hosts!
Co-directors, on a new podcast series called...
Conversations With My Immigrant Parents.
Just because I'm Muslim
doesn't mean I'm part of ISIS.
'Cause that means if you're a Christian you're part of KKK.
I grew up gowing to the same church every week.
There are so many gay Filipinos in church (laughing)!
The title is Conversations With My Immigrant Parents.
It's just families sitting down and talking to each other.
People from different countries are involved.
Pakistan, Argentina, Tonga.
Korea.
Philippines.
Cambodia.
The fact that people welcomed us
into their homes, for two full days!
They cooked us food,
and they really opened up with their lives.
They shared stories, they were so vulnerable.
It was so lucky that we found these families
and that they have these stories that they're happy to share
with a wider world so that everyone can get to know
the depth of the immigrant experience.
We bought this land, we build a house.
We grow every little trees outside
and I felt that it's home, but at the same time
I want to go back home to Tonga.
I think one thing maybe that people don't understand
is just how much immigrants do work
to live in a new country, how much they sacrifice.
'Cause it's so many thousands of things
and we've been fed it for so long,
that's it's like one narrative of immigrants.
And that's just not real (laughing).
My dad said, my mom passed away.
He said, "I can't be in New Zealand."
(crying)
He passed away.
Then he passed away.
I think a major theme through the conversations
were just the differences that parents and kids
have around the same issues.
Things to do with racism, like lots of parents
see that really differently than their kids do.
I guess the younger generation
are more willing to interrogate that a bit more
and hold people to account and say "that's not okay,"
whereas the older generation is more likely to
maybe let it go a little bit, not wanna stir the pot.
Just wanna live their lives
because they just don't wanna cause trouble
and they wanna be grateful for the life that they have here.
When you walk on the street and the young boys,
they would call out-
Like ching chong
or whatever? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Konnichiwa or ni hao. (laughing)
You know, I had to say "actually I'm Korean."
Your immigrant parents aren't as conservative
or aren't always as mad as you think they're gonna be.
Like you built it up more in your head
than they really will be.
That's actually a common theme in the podcast as well,
kids trying to protect their parents
and then realising that they don't always have to
and that their parents understand more than they think.
Totally!
Like that was such a good line from one episode,
is "we always tell you, you underestimate us."
I love that.
If we moved to a place while papa was away
and he wasn't there, until he came back
I would not call that place home.
The home for me is somewhere
where all of us are completely together.
Families are what hurts you, what heals you,
and that's all the podcast is,
it's just families getting into it with each other,
so you don't actually need to be a migrant to listen to it.
It's gonna give you something if you are
and it's gonna give you something even if you aren't.
We all are trying to work towards
some kind of ideal family situation
that doesn't really exist,
but it's really nice to hear people
talk about what it is for them.
For Conversations With My Immigrant Parents,
it's out now on all good podcast platforms.
You can get it on RNZ's website
or you can listen and watch it on renews.co.nz.
Cool. Enjoy! Listen!
Share! Binge. Binge! Binge listen!