I’m Sludge Rinder and this is Slime and Punishment!
Silence in court! Order! Order! Order!
Last week we gave Owain Wyn Evans an honourable sliming
and this week I’m looking for another open and shut case.
This case as you can see is shut, I don’t know where the open one is. Aha!
Now this week, it was good.
This week, James, you have been found guilty by the Mash-Up jury of crimes punishable by slime.
What says you?
[James] No, not guilty sir! I’m sorry, I’m sorry! [Joe] Objection overruled!
No time, James! You vet.
Now I must introduce to you the case for the prosecution.
I’m Harpz Kaur attorney at Law and in just a moment
I’ll be cross-examining James a series of tough questions.
If our star gets it right, they will get one point but if they get it wrong
then they will be dealt with some rough slushtice when they receive a bucket of slime right in their face.
So, James it’s time to take to the stand because your 90-second interrogation...
...starts now!
Okay!
Which British stand-up comedian has been announced to host the 2022 BRIT Awards?
Urm...Tom Holland?
Mo Gilligan, slime him!
What festive item has found its way onto some of the statues on Cambridge University’s chapel this week?
Umm…I don’t know. I don’t know. I can’t hear. Urm… Er.....
Anything festive?
A Christmas tree?
Santa hats. Slime him!
Who won Best New Artist at the American Music Awards last weekend?
Er I don’t know, Adele?
Olivia Rodrigo.
Which pair were voted off Strictly Come Dancing last weekend?
Oh um, Aljaz and Sara?
Tom Fletcher and Amy Dowden. Slime him.
Adele was reunited with her secondary school teacher live on stage during an ITV concert
but what subject did she teach?
English!
Correct!
I’m a Celebrity is back on the TV for another series, but in which British castle is it currently based?
Oh, it’s one in Wales. Um, Carmichael?
Gwrych castle
Okay!
Slime him!
[James] That was good! [Harpz] Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has been sacked as the manager of Manchester United
but which country is Ole originally from?
Urm, I don’t know anything about football.
[James] Bring it on! [Harpz] Norway. Slime him!
More than 1,000 primary school pupils in Scotland entered a competition to name a robot dog,
what name was crowned the winner this week?
Er...Rex?
M.A.R.T.I.N Slime him!
Singing sensation Susan Boyle has secured an acting role playing herself in which Scottish soap?
Oh um…
Er...Ex....?
River City, slime him!
Oh yes, slushtice has been served!
You got one question right, so you got one point.
But James, are you happy with that point?
I’m pretty, pretty, pleased with that
You are not James, you want more points do you not?
I do want more points!
I thought you did,
Okay, I want more points!
There we go!
So I sentence you to one further question. It’s time for this don't you know
James, answer the ultimate question correctly you’ll leave the studio a free person
and you’ll give yourself 20 points
but if you get it wrong, you’ll be covered in so much slime that it can’t be legal!
So, can I have some tension music, please?
Here’s the ultimate question, James
How are you feeling?
I’m feeling good, I’m going to get this, 20 points!
Alright, here it is.
The Pet Show is hosted Dermot O'Leary and Joanna Page
but when you combine their ages how old are both of them in days?
In days?! Okay…um I’m going to say 134 thousand days and 453?
That’s not a bad number but they’re not that old either James.
The actual answer is 34 thousand and 39 days, which means...
I’m sorry!
It’s time to super slime him!
A lot of slime got lost there
James, how are you feeling?
I feel slimey!
You've never been slimed before. You've always got out of the vote, haven't you?
I've always got out of this.
This is normally Cat that gets slimed!
Now I know how she feels!
Is it everything you've always imagined James?
I'd just like to thank my family. I'd like to thank everybody that's got me to this point in life, you know?
That's okay, you can let that sink in literally.