(sea witch laughs)
- [Narrator] Previously on "The Villains Lair."
- The sea witch must be dealt with for the last time.
- Ursula mentioned a deal,
perhaps we should discuss the terms.
- I have no intention of making another deal
with her.
- You are familiar with the shadow man, I presume?
He has aligned himself with the sea witch
and threatens our past and future.
You possess an artifact capable of controlling shadows.
Pair of dice, I believe.
- The sea witch is merely a descendant of a God.
Perhaps then what we need is a God
The Lord of the Underworld himself, Hades.
- Isn't he dead?
Like dead, dead.
- You know as well as any of us, we've all cheated death.
- His soul was devoured and lost to the River Styx.
- I say we fish his soul out of the river
like a cod fish.
- [Queen] Perhaps a less primitive solution.
- The black caldron.
Legend says its magic can return the dead.
- Magic mirror, show thy face,
reveal the cauldron's resting place.
- Across the sea the caldron lies,
hidden under Morva skies.
- What are we waiting for?
We must leave at once.
- I shall accompany the captain to Morva.
(thunder crashes)
(thunder rolls)
- A single player and a pair of dice.
My dear, if it's games you desire
then you need only ask to be the court jester,
after all, you already have the hat.
- How flattering.
You above all would certainly know the qualities
best suited for a fool. (laughs)
This game, however, does not concern you, Your Majesty.
- Well, I suppose it depends on the game.
You'll remember well that the queen
is the most powerful piece on the board.
- Powerful perhaps, but not invincible.
- Certainly more powerful than your knight in burlap sack
you've had tucked away.
- (laughs) Knight, how quaint, merely a pawn.
Nothing a queen can't make short work of.
- Enough!
Why are you so eager to take this journey?
I've never known you to be a volunteer.
- Well, as an old monarch one said,
"If you want something done right, do it yourself."
- And what might that be?
- Oh, you've forgotten already?
Why to return the Lord of the Underworld, my pet.
We really must have someone write this down for you.
- To return Hades and nothing more?
- Could it be that the mighty queen is threatened?
- Threatened, by a wingless fairy?
Let us not forget who restored you
to the world of the living.
♪ If it weren't for me maybe think what if ♪
♪ You would still be at the bottom of that cliff ♪
♪ Just a sad old tale ♪
♪ Beaten and impaled ♪
♪ A pathetic relic all because you failed ♪
♪ This is the story as I recall ♪
♪ So show some gratitude instead of attitude ♪
♪ That's all ♪
- The story yes, but a detail or two omitted.
I imagine a woman of your age
must have difficulty remembering.
♪ True, I owe a debt but let's not forget ♪
♪ Why you needed me to give you what you could not get ♪
♪ So go on attack ♪
♪ I have what you lack ♪
♪ It was I not you that brought the villains back ♪
♪ So ask your mirror on the wall ♪
♪ Who's the saddest or the baddest one of all ♪
♪ That's all ♪
- If by saddest you mean the one who follows orders
then I believe that title belongs to you.
♪ Yes you brought them back under my command ♪
♪ It was I not you that had the master plan ♪
♪ Lock that witch away in a sea she'd stay ♪
♪ Now unable to collect her debts from us to pay ♪
♪ You mean your debt ♪
♪ My debt ♪
♪ Yes ♪
♪ It was our debt ♪
♪ Wrong again my pet ♪
♪ With a single bite on a stormy night ♪
♪ Seven little men caught what you did to poor Snow White ♪
♪ Now you're off your throne ♪
♪ So I'd watch your tone ♪
♪ As I recall you took a little tumble of your own ♪
♪ Well done I'm sure that now you think ♪
♪ You've won this fight ♪
♪ But alas you forget I survived that night ♪
♪ Not quite ♪
♪ In the sea you drowned but the sea witch found ♪
♪ An opportunity and brought you back to solid ground ♪
♪ Quite the find she made for your life she'd trade ♪
♪ The sea king's crown a deal that you betrayed ♪
♪ That's rich now let's talk about the deal you made ♪
♪ There was once a king who had found his bride ♪
♪ But a winged green fairy the kingdom denied ♪
♪ Stefan's love you lost so the sea you crossed ♪
♪ A deal for a sleeping curse your wings it cost ♪
♪ Spare me your high and mighty and your gall ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm the ruler and you are nothing but the fool ♪
♪ That's all ♪
♪ You're the one to blame no denying it ♪
♪ You're responsible and yet you are defying it ♪
♪ Now you've made your bed so you can lie in it ♪
♪ You just need me for someone to blame ♪
♪ Now let's not forget ♪
♪ If it weren't for me ♪
♪ Why you needed me to give you what you could not get ♪
♪ Oh please just a washed up hack ♪
♪ I have what you lack ♪
♪ It was I no I brought the villains back ♪
♪ This is the story as I recall ♪
♪ So show some gratitude instead of attitude ♪
♪ Ask your mirror on the wall who's the saddest one of all ♪
♪ I'm the baddest one of all ♪
♪ That's all ♪
(birds call)
(thunder crashes)
(suspenseful music)
(music continues)