*Jack making horse noises*
*continues but like an even bigger weirdo*
It's meme time, everybody!
Welcome to meme time! Yay! Everybody's favorite time of the day. It's always a great time for memes. :)
Wake up in the morning? Meme. Going to bed? Meme.
At your grandparents funeral?! MEME!! It's like doctors always say, "A meme a day keeps the sadness away." (SO TRUE!)
So I'm here to cure everyone's depression. *chuckles* I need a name for this. I need a name for this type of format.
We have Funniest Home Videos. We have to reddit 50/50s. I don't know what this is. (Meme review??)
"Jacksepticeye: laugh at myself hour." Let's call it... "What do you meme?"
*chuckles cuz it's also a board game. COPYRIGHT!* Let's not call it that. That's fucking stupid.
Jacksepticeye, Flamingo Shorts and the (JSE) Community. So the Flamingo shorts are keeping us together? US: Jack I got you!
(Marvin): "Oh, no you don't. *laughs*
I don't even know what's happening in this.
What, what, what am I seeing here? What is this even from? Why is Marvin killing everybody?
OOH! RIGHT!
Cuz I said- OH! Cuz in the video with the Flamingo shorts.
I pulled up the mask and I said, "This thing!" I get it now. I don't even know my own channel anymore..
And, so I'm so out of the loop with my own brain. That's how you know, things are getting bad, guys.
*watches intensely at comedy genius* *video has no sound* *laughs*
*continues laughing*
I don't know why I'm putting on the headphones!? I know exactly what he says xD
*Jack screams, "LAUGH!" as CJ from GTA: SA says "Ah, shit, here we go again."
Me every time I go to watch Jacksepticeye's Funniest Home Videos, that's what it's all about.
It's all about laughing. :3
If you're not there to laugh then why are you watching the series at all?
Other series on YouTube are all about TRYING not to laugh.
Or saying, "if you laugh, you lose." But, over here on the Jacksepticeye variety channel, we just, we just let you laugh.
We know you're gonna laugh, anyway. We're just not trying to fool anybody.
I'm not trying to pull any wool over your eyes. You can come here. :)You can laugh, it's fine.
You can... *smack* LAUGH!
*chuckles* End world hunger, end world poverty or... *smack* LAUGH? *laughs*
Which would you choose? Such a hard choice!
I know what I would choose. Each and every time, because I am the ambassador of goodwill,
and because they want to spread positivity to the world and just be...
as good a person as I can be. I know that out of these three, I will always pick...
*le epic cutscene* *Smack!* LAUGH!! Well, it says, "Meme"... *smack* MEME!!
Good job, Sean. *thumbs up* Make up one joke and then run it into the ground. *chuckles*
*says at top speed* Have I told you about the "How did we get here?" Live show comedy world tour, sponsored by Coca-Cola™©® zero sugar,
same great coke taste? I don't have anything... :( *laughs*
(Child:) Mommy, why is he yelling so much? (Mommy): Don't look at him. *chuckles*
I get that so often from parents whenever I meet them. At, like, conventions or anything.
They always come up and they're like, "I just want to thank you, for entertaining my kids."
"You're very loud though, and you swear a lot." And I'm like,
"What can I say? I'm Irish. That's what we do."
If you know that I'm Irish, then why are you surprised that I yell and I swear at things? Have you been to Ireland?
It's more of a problem when I stop doing that. Also, you fuckers love it. *we do tbh*
Okay? You're here to watch the yelling, screaming, swearing Irish man. Don't act like that's not why you all subscribed in the first place.
I'm just a.. a zoo exhibit for what can go wrong with the human form and you're all here to watch it, okay?
And, for FREE I might add...
Have you subscribed yet? *laughs*
Aww, hell yeah!
That's what I'm talking about. The true, son of a viking! The Gaelic Gladiator! The water warrior!
Okay? I've said this before. First of all, this is terrific art. I love this a lot. Is this my version of Mjolnir?
They smash people in the face with it. I would love a Warhammer.
If any fans out there are into smithing and forging...
I'm really missing a Warhammer for my house. But that's what my name means. I've said it before.
That my- my name in Irish, Sean. Sean is an Irish name. S, E, A, father, N.
It's Irish for "John" which is my dad's name. Okay, are you with me?
Are you keeping up?
"Sean McLoughlin", in Irish, is Sean Mac McClaude. Which means..
"Sean, son of land and.. Son of..
What does my name mean?
Son of lake and land which we used to call the Scandinavians people.
Of the lakes and seas and the oceans and the lands.
Who are also Viking. So, I'm Sean, son of viking. Alright? I am a viking by birthright.
I am the son of a Viking. I am the Gaelic gladiator. The true spud warrior.
So if you come into my house, you're gonna have to go up against this alpha Chad.
Okay? You know I had to do it to him. What is the average...
*cringes* McLoughlin lifespan.. First off, you spelled it wrong. It's McLoughlin, not McLAUGHlin. Oh, God! Our average lifespan is 75.
Uh, oh.
Umm.. *chuckles uncomfortably*
Okay... Well, at least it's a year above the other general population, so I'm gonna survive a year longer than all of you :)
HAHA! Eat that! You...
Stupid betas. Ya... *laughs at his own joke*
If this was Game of Thrones, I'd be sitting on the throne at the end of it.
The only one left alive. All the McLAUGHlin's will be left alive, but we sitting on a throne o' bones!
*giggles* Are you calling me a crab because of the way I hold my cups?
Alright, people make fun of me because, there's a bunch of pictures of me online holding things like this.
And, people always say, "Why are you holding your cups like this?" You know what? It's cuz I know the real way to hold things.
Cuz I'm a- I'm a warrior.
I'm a- whatever. I do this mainly with cups that don't have handles.
Because, usually the contents of it are gonna make my hands feel a certain way.
I'm holding the Starbucks thing, it's gonna make my hand too hot.
If I'm holding like a can of Coca-Cola™©® zero sugar, same great coke taste but now with zero sugar and a hint of added vanilla...
It's gonna make my hand cold. Alright? Cuz you don't drink Coke™©® room temperature. It has to be ice-cold.
So, this protects my hand, okay? I am the evolved person here. I'm the one who's living in like...
The year 3000 and you're all back here in stupid 2019 not knowing how to hold a cup. Get with it.
Is this just me now? Is that what I've become? A crab? A crab warrior?
*chuckles heartily* "Coca-Cola™©®, "Check your email Pewds..."
Nine-year-olds. Jacksepticeye: "Am I a joke to you? Am I?"
Suddenly, T-Series has a thing with Pepsi (ew) and then everyone's like, "Ooh, Coke™©® should sponsor Felix!"
When I've been over here.. Day and night...
Selling the SHIT out of Coca-Cola™©® zero sugar, same great Coke™©® taste, zero sugar, now with a hint of added vanilla.
And, you just laugh in my face like this.
If Felix gets sponsored by Coke™©® before I do,
I'm gonna suck some major ass. *laughs*
At this point, it's just become a thing where I have to say face.
I can't not be sponsored by Coke™©®. I've said it too many times. I can't just give up on this.
I need a response. Coke™©®. Please. Give me your response!
I need something.
But only give me response if it's a yes. *giggles* Pimples? Zero. Blackheads? Zero. Coca-Cola™©®? Zero...
Sugar, with the same great coke ta- I know exactly what's gonna happen now after this one.
Some of- one of you is going to go out and just make, "Pimples? Zero." *laughs*
"Blackheads? Zero. Coca-Cola™©® sponsorship for Jacksepticeye? *laughs dryly*
ZERO.. *Anti shows up*
Alright? *gets closer to punish us* Get out of my life, alright? I don't want this.. hardship :/
New ideas for Coke™©® sponsors. (Employee #1): American Idol?
(Employee #2): Olympics?
(Employee #3): Jacksepticeye? Maybe? No, come on. What do I have to do? I'm already screaming the loudest about it.
And I thought that that's how the internet works...
Whoever says something the most and screams that the loudest is the person who owns that thing.
Have I been lied to this entire time? Does the internet not work that way?
*laughs*
Oh, that's wonderful.
That's like- that's like one of the few times that this meme has actually made me laugh.
Any other time I've seen this it's always been pretty silly. But this one's good. *laughs again*
How are my hands doing that though? How do I have thumbs on the backs of my hands? Am I doing this? *demonstrates it like a baws*
I really am a crab if that's how I'm doing things like, "Oh no Sasuke."
Sas- Sasker- what's his name?
I don't watch Naruto, because I'm a fan of top-tier high-quality anime's like, 'Shingeki No Kyojin' and...
'Boku no Hero MY Academia.' And, who could forget such classics as 'One Punch Man' and 'Mob Psycho 100.'
I'm a man of taste and class. I like all the Normie anime's. MY favorite anime is Dr. Phil.
When he goes super saiyan... man... No kids are gonna stand up against him. When he sends them to the ranch..
*mwah* Beautiful.
Breathes in confusion, fake background, real background. Which one is it? Which one do you see right now?
Is it- is it a fake background or is it a real background?
None of you know! That's how good we've gotten here on the Jacksepticeye variety channel.
No one knows if it's fake, or it's real which one is it? *bamboozles our minds* No one has any idea anymore. It's imperceptible!
*chuckles* Only true Jacksepticeye fans can answer this question...
Real background, fake background. Which one is it? You don't know until I go to that board.
It could be right in front of me or it could be way behind me. See I keep going further and further back.
Haha, see? Yeah. Now you know it's real because I'm all the way back.
*crash!* IT WAS FAKE!
Don't even pretend you're ahead of me, babies.
Okay? You can't understand this true high quality, high IQ intellect.
*laughs heartily*
I even gave... There's even a format for this of me going... *demonstrates*
And, pointing at something that people always use but I applaud your effort of getting a different one.
*laughs* And getting stuff from my thumbnails. I can just see "Subnautica" in the background. That's great.
See, the lamp will never be fixed.
Alright, what is the- are you lampists?
Just because the lamp suddenly looks a little different, is a little disheveled. Suddenly. You're all like, "Jack, fix your lamp."
Assuming that it needs to be fixed. There's nothing wrong with this lamp.
*grabs lamp* This lamp is beautiful the way it is. The way God intended it to be.
This is nature's design. You- you telling me to fix this lamp just shows how insensitive you really are. *kisses lightbulb* You're beautif- *gags at the taste*
*chuckles* I tweeted out recently saying that five years ago, someone asked me what I would do with 22 million subscribers, and I said it would never happen.
It was a weird number to ask. I can't remember the context of it. I don't know why they asked 22 million instead of like 20 or 25. It was 22 at the time.
I think some other channel, maybe Felix's, was at 22 at the time.
So they asked me what I would do with 22 million subscribers.
And, I said it would never happen, that- that comes with a lot more responsibility and hate.
And, different things and that I was just happy where I was. Which was, like, 60K subs at the time and yet here we are.
22 million subscribe- five years and 22 million subscribers later.
That is absolutely bananas. So, thank you, first off for that.
I can't believe 22 million people know who I am, and I still can't get my dad to return my calls.
*chuckles* But, after I tweeted that out,
Grandayy said, "since sub to pewdiepie meme is now over can we initiate sub to jacksepticeye meme?"
"Ah shit, here we go again." How about let's not do that. *laughs*
We saw how disastrous it...
can end up.
When people get all riled up and that rallied together and all in one place and even though with the best of intentions...
Some horrible things can come out of that. Umm..
And to respect Felix's wishes and to respect...
Everything that happened with that, let's just leave that where it is. He's wanted it to end. Let's let it end.
Though, Dr. Grandayy, our meme mayor himself,
I appreciate your faith in this channel and this community. We... we accept your your love and support.
Every YouTuber thumbnail be like: *laughs*
*chuckles* Okay. Alright, okay. *laughs again*
God damn it. *continues to chuckle*
Okay, I wasn't...
See, here's the thing. Most thumbnails that people make are them posing to get that face.
This was my actual face. This actually happened to me. That's a genuine reaction.
Maybe I'm just so absorbed in the YouTube sphere right now.
Maybe I've just done let's plays for too long, that my natural reactions... my brain is already like,
"Ooh, thumbnail material!" *laughs* Also, when did you get this?
This is two weeks ago and then you have a screenshot of my video from four hours ago. This video was really old now.
Well, that's gonna be it for me today. That's all the time we got for memes today.
I hope they made you chuckle. I hope they made you smile.
I hope they made you laugh. If they didn't, what's wrong with you? You dead inside?
What does that say about your relationship with your dad? Also, remember when you go out there today,
don't be making fun of lamps who are broken, alright? They're perfect and beautiful.
Just the way they are. And, if you're new here, don't forget to hit that sweet subscribe button, okay?
Because, apparently, like, 40% of my viewers come from people who aren't subscribed.
So, here I- I'm petitioning. Maybe the more subscribers we have,
Coke™©® will finally listen to me. And, they'll be like, "Yes, that sponsorship is your's. Mr. Big Shot."
Also, don't forget to hit the like button all that good stuff really helps out the video.
But I'm gonna go now, okay? Into the realm of...
uh... non memes. Until next time, my friends. Until next time! *I'm Everywhere by TeknoAXE begins to play*
Away I go! *ding, bye lmao*
*outro plays TeknoAXE - I'm Everywhere*
*sarcastically* Oh, no. Where have I gone? Where am I now?