Hi everybody.
If you're anything like I have been, you are having a lot of anxiety over having a new
baby.
It might not feel this way and you might look out onto the street and see all these mothers
happily walking their babies along with their stroller and their nice little packed diaper
bag and they're smiling and they look like they've got it all together, they figured
it all out and you feel like you're the only one who is so overwhelmed, you're sitting
at home.
You don't have time to go to the bathroom.
You can't get in to the shower, people are calling you on the phone and you're yelling
at the phone and you like "Leave me alone", and you feel like you just can't handle all
the things that have been flicked in to your lap because you have assumed an enormous responsibility.
You are now responsible for another human being.
It's a huge responsibility, its very daunting and anxiety is a totally normal reaction.
You are not alone.
I promise you every mother has felt this way.
So the question is, what do you do when you have all of these anxiety?
Well, just to start out in terms of how you're feeling about yourself as mom.
One of the things that happens to a lot of us when we have babies is that people, very
nicely because they do care, start to try to give us a lot of advice.
So you might be getting advice from your mother, from your sister, from your mother-in-law,
from your friend who had a baby and everybody has got a different idea about how some things
should be done.
Or whether bragging to you about how well they did it, "oh, my baby slept through the
night at two weeks."
And its very intimidating and it contributes to anxiety because you feel like you have
to make your own choices about how you gonna do things.
So keep an eye with all this.
Its very good to gather information and get good advice.
But really what you're trying to do is find what works for you.
What works for you as a mom.
What make sense to you.
No one else has ever been a mother to your baby and actually nobody knows your baby better
than you know your baby or hopefully your partner knows your baby.
So you will get in to your own rhythm with things.
And with this full confidence.
And with confidence, your anxiety will go down.
So this will start to happen over time over the days and over the weeks as you get in
to a rhythm of being any mom and your anxiety will go down.
In the meantime, I think it's very very helpful to try to come up with a plan of what you're
going to do.
Meaning that, you can try to take one day at a time rather than worrying about things
that are way far down the line.
Try to just focus on what's immediately in front of you and this is really gonna help
you.
When you have a plan, you feel less anxiety because you're like.
"You know what, I'm freaking up but guess what?"
this is what I'm gonna do."
So don't worry about this snow suit that you're gonna need six months down the line.
Don't worry about potty training, don't worry about pre-schools, don't even think about
those things.
Just think about the day that's in front of you and what you need to do.
It might make, it might help sorry to, break things down on a piece of paper, let's say
to yourself listing these are the five things I'm gonna try to do today.
I'm gonna try to feed the baby, I do want and try to make something for dinner.
Whatever it is, just create a very discrete set of tasks and try to get those things done,
okay?
Now, another thing to think about is that this time is really for you.
And you might really be wanting to welcome a lot of other people.
You might have a big family or you might have a lot of friends.
You might be wanting to welcome all these people into your baby's life and you might
feel lonely and overwhelmed and you might feel as if you want their support.
But you really have to realize that this is a special time.
It's a nesting time.
This is a special time for you, for your baby and for your partner, if you have a partner.
So these other people could be around the periphery, let them come in, take their support.
Have them help you in come by and bring you things if you need them but most of all, focus
on your baby and focus on your self.
You get home form the hospital, the phone is ringing off the hook, there is a box you
need to open, someone gave you flowers.
You need to call back your mom, whatever it is, put those things aside, sit down, figure
out when your baby needs to be fed and feed your baby.
Put your baby in the crib and when you feel like you have a little bit of time, you can
then start to attend to those other things.
But the priority now is your baby and you.
So hopefully these little things will help you during the time of anticipating or having
a new baby.
And remember most of all, that no mother faced with dealing with her new baby has never gone
through this before.
Feeling anxiety is totally totally normal and if you try to focus on yourself, nest
and come up with a plan, it's really gonna help.