(band music)
- Richard, your hand is empty, go get a drink.
I love your earrings, I just noticed.
Excuse me gentlemen, if I may.
Walter, I brought you a cupcake.
- Joanna, you shouldn't eat those,
you're getting fat.
- Ow.
- [Walter] Listen I need to take Victoria home.
- Now?
But what about your party?
- Joanna, the party was great.
Everyone's having a wonderful time.
You outdid yourself darling.
Be back in a flash.
- Really, really great party Mrs. Brown.
- Walter?
You're home late.
- Did I say I was going to be early?
- No, not exactly.
(TV background noise)
Let me do that for you.
- No.
- [Joanna] I was just going to do those.
- It's okay.
- Walter, you really don't have to do anything.
- Did you sweep yet?
- No.
(glass shattering)
- Now you have two less glasses to clean.
(door slams)
- [TV Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen,
it is with great privilege
and responsibility that I present to you
a device so advanced in its design and creation,
it is surely to usher in a new age of human achievement.
First conceived of my the Soviets,
developed by the Nazis,
before being heroically liberated
by American industrialists,
this device immediately and effectively
addresses the source all all social and political strife.
When men exhibits social dysfunction,
such as persistent anger,
alcoholism,
or an excessive need to sow his oats,
it can be attributed entirely to
instability in his home life.
While many women are able to self-correct
the such problems, most are not.
Either due to genetic inferiority
or inadequacy in her upbringing.
By supplementing these inadequacies
with the latest atomic technology,
we can physically create a better woman.
Ladies, the Wifeomatic.
- Will it hurt?
- It will be excruciating, that's why we put you out.
- But is it safe?
- [Doctor] Is it safe, of course it's safe,
it's made in America.
- I just want Walter to be happy.
- Oh believe you me Mrs. Brown, he'll be happy.
Satisfaction guaranteed.
(saw cutting)
(upbeat music)
- Welcome home darling, did you have a nice day at work?
- Of course not, that's why they call it work.
(laughter)
I'm gonna watch the game.
- But dinner's ready, don't you want to eat first?
- Oh, sure.
- Walter,
I was thinking we could drive up the coast this weekend,
you know like we used to.
You've been working so hard
and putting in extra hours at the office.
And with this big promotion,
I think you deserve a little break.
It was just an idea.
- Jesus!
What is that?
- Oh this?
It's just a little something I got to help around the house.
I know I've really been disappointing you lately.
So,
I got myself a little upgrade.
What do you think?
Well,
it's not all business now.
This next one is just for you darling.
Are you ready?
- Uh, sure.
- Ta da!
What do you think?
Pretty sexy huh?
You just
sit back.
Uh huh.
Does that feel good?
- Uh huh.
- You like that?
- Uh huh.
Joanna,
slower.
Stop, stop!
Jesus.
Trying to tear my damn dick off?
Bust my ass at the office all week
to put a roast on the table and you pull this shit?
The nerve of you.
I ought to divorce your ass.
- What she got that I don't got.
I'm not stupid Walter.
Victoria?
- Shut the hell up and mind your own God damned business.
- Does she cook for you?
Does she shop for you?
Does she clean your house?
(slap)
Who irons your shirts Walter?
Who irons your shirts?
- I don't know what's gotten into you,
believe me, get it out.
(screams)
What the fuck is wrong with you?
- What the fuck is wrong with me?
No,
what the fuck is wrong with you?
You have always been-
- You stay away from me.
- The miserable one.
It's not me Walter, it's you.
(eerie music)
What are you?
- You don't recognize me?
I'm the perfect wife Walter.
Satisfaction guaranteed.
- Kill you.
(eerie music)
- The blender attachment works
exactly as you'd expect.
Simply insert your ingredients into the blender and viola.
Soup in seconds.
Granted a food processor is better
at creating a perfectly smooth texture
and give you more control over chopping nuts,
but I'll show you just how we do that.
(screams)
(eerie music)
(upbeat music)