- So, basically, you want us to make an art piece of you.
- Yeah. - Ready for the reveal?
- Two, one. - Two, one.
- Oh my God!
Oh my God! (Trudy giggling)
Oh my God, they're photos of penises!
So as you might be aware,
my birthday is months away. (laughing)
It's cause I'm turning 31.
(all laughing)
10-year anniversary of my 21st.
I would love for you (bell rings)
to make an artwork.
As your gift to me on my birthday.
Make it good. It's gotta be good!
For my 10-year anniversary of my 21st,
I would love the three of you to make an artwork
that's representative of me.
It can be...
It doesn't have to look like me,
you don't have to do a painting,
but just something that's inspired,
preferably that does look like me
or represent me in some way.
And then present me that artwork on the 6th of January
and I will judge you based off your skills.
- So, basically, you want us to make an art piece of you.
- Yeah. (laughs)
Well, when you say it like that, it sounds
(laughing) it sounds- - Vain?
- Yeah! I mean, it is vain, isn't it?
I just love the idea of someone making a statue,
out of bronze. (laughing) - A bronze statue!
- Oh my Lord! - I feel like you think
that we are much more artistic than we are.
- I know you're all very artistic!
- And you know we have jobs to do as well?
- Yeah. And lives. - Right?
- Can we do this in our work time?
- No, this can not be done in work time.
- Are our art supplies tax deductible, or?
- Yeah, can we collect- - No, no, no!
(Ben and Phoebe questioning) Just stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
Firstly, you don't have lives, I know that.
I am your life. (artists chuckling)
You've devoted your lives to me, and I know that
and I'm exploiting that right now.
Question from Ben.
- Can we use the work credit card for the art supplies?
- What a great, hang on, what a great-
(Christian wheezing) - Trudy, what are you doing?
(all laughing) - I'm trying to turn you on!
(all laughing)
(bell dings) - [Artists] Idea!
(Trudy claps) - Um, yeah, okay.
- (gasps) So we can do gold. Gold leaf, on paper?
- No, you have a budget. - [Phoebe] Oh.
- You can only spend at most each $200.
- Oh wow. - $200 budget.
- That's a lot of money.
- Yes, Ben. (Phoebe giggles)
- Can we donate the artwork to maybe
like a charity or something like that?
- Absolutely not. I want them for myself.
(Phoebe giggles) (Christian chuckles)
- We won't put them on eBay?
Oh! What if, what if, what if- - [Christian] No, no!
Wait! No! - [Phoebe] Idea! Idea!
- [Ben] Gotta put your hand up.
- Quietly put your hand up.
- Trudy, you have anything you'd like to say?
- Um... - Me! Me! Me!
Wait, pick me! Pick me, please! Please!
- Ben? - [Phoebe] No!
- Yeah, I was just wondering (shushes Phoebe)-
- Phoebe, Ben's talking. - Wait your turn, Phoebe.
(sighs) What was my question gonna be?
- Christian, pick me. (giggling) Pick me.
- Well while Ben thinks,
Phoebe? - Thank you.
What if what we do is, the winner,
'cause obviously it's a competition, right...
- When did it become a competition?
- I do not know!
- Phoebe made it a competition.
(upbeat trumpet music)
- Point number one is,
you are going to make an artwork,
and the central theme is Christian Hull.
Point number two, you have a budget of $200.
Point number three, it has to be physical
and you have to be able to hand it to me.
And point number four,
I want you to buy those items at an art store.
- We're competing against each other,
so if I push Ben into a pool-
- Who said you were competing? No one is competing!
- Phoebe said we're competing!
- It's a competition!
- Well Phoebe's competing with you!
- No, it's always a competition.
You always say- - Ben?
- I just wanna say I'm really excited
about this project, Christian, and-
- [Phoebe] Suck-up. - [Christian] Thank you, Ben.
- I'm looking forward to your birthday, and-
- [Christian] Aw, thanks. - yeah, I'm gonna go home
and go to the center.
- All right, Ben gets one bonus point.
Are there any other questions?
(artists laughing)
Can you imagine trying to manage this?
(upbeat trumpet music)
Okay, are we all good?
Oh, for Christ sakes! Yes, Ben?
- If we don't spend the $200,
can we take the $200? - (gasps) Yes!
- That is a very, very good point!
- No, because, actually, you know what?
Yes, the winner will get- - [Ben] Winner?
- Oh, so it is a competition! - There is a competition!
- This turn into a competition?
- No one is competing!
The winner gets the remaining cash of everyone.
I just want you to make a (beep) artwork of me. The end!
- Oh! Why didn't you say that is the first place?
- That makes it so clear! - [Trudy] Honestly!
- [Christian] (groans) I'm gonna have a nap!
(upbeat music)
It's been 10 long weeks of absolute torture
working with you guys,
but I've kept you employed, obviously,
because I wanna see the artworks that you've made
for me for my birthday, that I'm forcing you to make.
You'll be judged on technique, out of 10,
theme, color, out of 10- - No, hold on! No, no!
- (exclaims) Questions at the end!
Resemblance. And then, the overall look.
And then I also need to know how much
it has cost you to make.
I think I wanna view these artworks from shittiest to best,
and so we'll start with the shittiest.
- Why is everyone looking at me?
Why are you all looking at me? That's not fair!
- Well prove us wrong, Phoebe,
(Ben laughing) 'cause you're starting us off!
(Ben claps) (upbeat music)
Are you ready? - Yep.
- Three, (giggles)
two, one. (material flapping)
- Oh my God!
That's really good!
Did you draw that?
- So, I did drypoint etching.
(Christian laughing)
- [Christian] Is that a print?
- Yeah.
So you have a look and I'll explain to you
while you look at it.
So I did drypoint etching.
That means that I bought some acetate,
which is basically like plastic,
and I used a little needle and scratched it all out.
(Christian laughing)
- How long did it take? - A lot of time.
I spent most nights up until 2:00 AM doing this.
- My favorite thing about this
is just how haggard and tired I look.
That is insane for me.
Wow. I am blown away! - Thank you.
- That's really good!
(Phoebe clapping)
I do wanna ask, you had a budget of $200,
how much did you spend?
- Technically-
- How much did you spend. No explanation.
- Okay, what I've put on the work card?
- Yep. - $200.
- Why does it sound like you're lying?
(both laugh) - Because-
- How much did you spend personally?
- Um. (both laughing)
- How much is the total cost of this artwork?
- This really is a gift, too,
'cause I have put my own money into this.
- Okay, how much was it?
- All together? - Yes.
- 270. - Okay, 270.
I mean, I'd probably pay $500 for that, easily.
(Phoebe gasps) (Phoebe claps)
(Phoebe exclaims) Well done! Wow!
If this is the worst one, bring on Ben's!
(Phoebe giggles) (upbeat music)
(Christian giggles) (Christian wheezes)
- [Christian] It's framed. - I got it framed, yeah.
- Are you feeling nervous after seeing Phoebe's?
- Wouldn't know, because I feel good,
because I have come under budget
and I've got it framed, so-
- Yeah, but they're all, they're all little extras.
Okay, here we go. (Christian clapping)
- I put a lot of effort into this.
- Yeah, well, okay. We'll see.
- So I wanted to do like a- - No, reveal.
- Well, I kinda wanted- - No, I wanna reveal first.
- All right.
Try and fit it in frame.
Are you ready? - Yep!
- You sure? - Yep.
All right. Three- (Christian giggles)
(chuckles) Two, one!
(Christian gasps) (Christian laughs)
- Oh my God!
- It's like a comic book.
- It's pop art! - It's like a comic book,
but I wanted to go like a comic book style.
- Did you draw that? - Yeah.
- Like, by hand or on the computer?
- Well, funny you should ask.
I decided to spend my art supplies
on a tablet, like a digital tablet,
so that I could draw it all and-
- Oh, I see.
I mean, that's smart, you've bought a tablet
with work money- - [Ben] Yes!
- and claimed it as art supplies.
- Correct. So I spent 177 in total.
- Ooh, he came under budget.
I love that!
- You should see my other rocket.
- You're referring to my-
- Penis. - Thank you.
- Oh my God, that's amazing, Ben!
I can't wait to put this up on my wall.
- You're a bit quieter, you're not as excited-
- No, no, no, I am!
I was just realizing that this is gonna be
an incredibly tough competition to judge.
- Do you wanna gimme some points?
What are we going with? - Well, 10 for color.
(both laugh) (Ben claps)
Aw, thank you, Ben. - No worries.
(Christian laughs)
- I'm nervous for Trudy's,
'cause I've earmarked hers as the best artwork.
You've got some stiff competition.
- I do have some stiff competition.
(Phoebe giggles) - Oh no, she's made a penis.
- [Trudy] Very stiff. (upbeat music)
- Oh God. - So-
- You've just got a box from the merch room.
Okay. Yep. - Well, I mean, it's my box.
- I also wanna point out that Trudy and I
have been friends for the last 16 years.
(Trudy chuckles) So to be fair,
I probably should have put her first.
Okay, I'm ready. - Ready for the reveal?
- Just before the reveal, did you do it this morning?
- (laughs) No, I didn't do it this morning!
- [Christian] Okay. Oh. - You will find out
in the points, right. - [Christian] Okay here we go.
- [Trudy] You'll find out in the points and notes.
(Christian laughing)
- Oh my God!
Are they all little photos of me?
Oh my God! (Trudy giggling)
Oh my God, they're photos of penises!
(Christian laughs)
Let me have a look. - Yes, yes, yes.
- It's a great photo of me. - [Trudy] Yes, yes.
- Look at that solid jaw line.
- [Trudy] Yes. - Oh my God,
they're all (beep)! (Trudy giggles)
- Well- - It's me, made up of (beep)!
- I mean, it's the gift that keeps on giving,
because somewhere in there is-
- Is mine? - Well...
- (clears throat) Oh, is one of them Ben's?
- Well, it's kind of like where's Wally, but-
- My theory is, Ben's is this one here!
Where's that chodey-looking one? That one.
- Well, you have 500 plus options!
I mean, that's gonna keep you busy.
- The micropenis. (laughs)
Wow, well, I'm gonna study this intently
and I'm gonna work out which one is Ben's.
It's probably the one that's on my mouth.
- I mean, I feel that I came in under budget.
- Oh yeah, how much did this cost?
- In total, $59. Yeah.
- [Phoebe] Aw. - Aw, should've been $69.
How did you get the penises? - [Ben] Watch this video.
- Are you copying and pasting penis pics from online?
(Ben laughing)
- I Googled penis photos and then I'm like,
"But what is it called? What do they call it?"
And I was like, "Hang on! (beep) pics!"
- Is this the most amount of (beep) you've ever seen?
- I have never Googled (beep) pic in my life.
- That is incredible. - Yep.
- $59, way under budget. Well done.
Trudy, you've outdone yourself.
(upbeat music)
Phoebe, I have scored you:
technique, 10; (Phoebe exhales)
theme, 10; (Phoebe gasps)
color, 0; (Phoebe groans)
look, 10; (Phoebe giggles)
resemblance, 10. (Phoebe gasps)
And because you spent the most amount of money,
you are only awarded 1 point for budget.
(Trudy giggles) - Good budgeting was points?
- Well, there is in this one. - [Trudy] It is now.
- Ben, your score: technique, 10;
theme, 9; color, 10;
look, 8; resemblance, 9.
- Why did I get theme, 9?
- Trudy:
(wheezing) technique, 10; theme, 10;
color, 6; (Trudy winces)
look, 7- - Ooh!
- resemblance, 10.
And because you came well under budget,
I gave you three points.
- [Trudy] Aw, thank you.
- Ben, you came 2nd under budget,
so you got two points. - Ah, okay.
- The final scores are, (Trudy laughing)
coming in at 3rd- - Coming in? Sorry.
- Coming in at 3rd is the work
that I'm probably more excited to hang on my wall,
and that is Phoebe. (Phoebe gasps)
(group cheers) Well done.
- [Phoebe] 3rd?
(trombone drones) - That's great!
You did a really great job!
Coming in 2nd- - Coming?
(artists chuckling) - She's done it twice now.
- on 46,
is Trudy.
- Yes! (artists clapping)
- Which means Ben is our winner!
(group cheers) (audience cheers)
- [Ben] Yay! Woo! - I mean, he got a tablet,
so he really is a winner. (group laughs)
- No, it's a work tablet.
Ben, congratulations. - Yay!
- You win the leftover money from everyone's kitty.
- Thanks, Phoebe. - That becomes $110 you win.
(group cheers) - You can buy another tablet!
- I know! (chuckles)
- It would've been $168, but Phoebe went over budget,
so I'm deducting that from that money.
- Ah no, but that was my own personal money!
- No, I'll give that back to you.
- [Phoebe] Will you? - Yeah, yeah I will,
that's really good. - I love you!
- [Trudy] Yay! - [Phoebe] Happy birthday!
- No hugs! No hugs! (group giggling)
- Guys, I've called this meeting today
for us to put on our ideas hats.
And I think I'm getting an idea.
Not gonna lie, this switch on this hat is-
(bell dings) Ah, I've got an idea!
(Trudy gasps)
And that is, here you go, Ben,
put that in front of your (beep).
(Trudy chuckles)
Am I turning you off, Ben?
- Yes, you are. - Aw, I've turned Ben off.