-Welcome, everybody.
Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show."
You're here. You made it. Thank you for watching.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Guys, it is the holiday season,
and today, it even started snowing here in New York.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah, it was just a few flakes,
but LaGuardia shut down immediately.
Well, here's some fun local news.
You guys aren't going to believe this.
A guy in Brooklyn just won $10 million
from a scratch-off ticket for the second year in a row.
Yeah, he's loving life today.
He marched into his old job like, "I quit again!"
Well, guys, everyone is talking about this.
Last night in Alabama, four candidates took the stage
for another Republican presidential debate.
Yep. The big winners from the night were
Nikki Haley, Chris Christie,
and everyone who decided not to watch.
Yeah, last night was the fourth Republican debate.
At this point, it's kind of like "Indiana Jones" movies.
Three was enough. You know what I'm saying?
Once again, the debate was kind of crazy.
People are saying it was pretty controversial
when Vivek Ramaswamy held up a sign
that said "Nikki=corrupt."
-Ooh!
-I don't think that that's controversial.
I mean, I think it would be really controversial
if he held up a sign that said...
I mean, because that's -- People are --
That is not -- A hot dog is a hot dog.
Meanwhile, Chris Christie came out swinging
and went after Ramaswamy and he really didn't hold back.
Watch this. For real.
-You do this at every debate. -I'll say exactly --
-No, don't interrupt me. I didn't interrupt you.
This is the fourth debate, the fourth debate
that you would be voted, in the first 20 minutes,
as the most obnoxious blowhard in America.
So shut up for a -- [ Cheers and applause ]
-Wow. Wow!
It is clear Ramaswamy isn't well-liked.
After he attacked Christie,
the moderators were like, "Governor Christie,
you have two hours to respond."
At another point during the debate,
Chris Christie said the other candidates
were afraid to mention Trump and treat him like Voldemort,
he who must not be named.
And that got me thinking.
There's actually a lot of similarities
between Republicans and Harry Potter.
-Oh, boy. Here we go.
-What's up, Tariq? -Well, let me guess.
You're going to show, like, a bunch of side-by-side
photos of Republicans and then the Harry Potter --
like, the characters that they look like.
-Yeah, that was the plan.
-Well, I know exactly how this will go.
So, first, you'll show a picture of Harry Potter,
and then you'll say he looks like House Speaker Mike Johnson.
And then, after that, you'll show a picture of --
I don't know -- probably Draco Malfoy,
and you'll say he looks like Eric Trump.
And then, finally, after that, you'll show a picture of --
I don't know -- like, Neville Longbottom
when he got frozen, and then, boom,
there he is, Mitch McConnell.
Is that how this is going to go?
-I mean, yeah, yeah, that was pretty good,
but you're a little off.
Yeah. Because, first, I'd show Harry Potter,
but then I'd say he looks like George Santos.
Then, after that, I'd show Draco's dad,
Lucius Malfoy, and say he looks like
Marjorie Taylor Greene.
And, finally, I'd show frozen Neville Longbottom,
but he's more like Ron DeSantis trying to stand normally.
-I got to give it to you, man. -Yeah?
[ Cheers and applause ]
That's right, everybody.
The debate lasted two hours, and a lot happened,
so it was honestly hard to keep up.
Thankfully, we have a remix to help you out. Check it out.
-Let's get started. [ Hip-hop music playing ]
-Nikki is corrupt.
-It's not worth my time to respond.
-That's not true.
-Don't interrupt me. I didn't interrupt you.
-I have a woman problem.
-The most obnoxious blowhard in America.
-Walk yourself off that stage, enjoy a nice meal.
-Don't interrupt me. I didn't interrupt you.
-They all had man dresses on.
-Get the hell out of this race.
-Don't interrupt me. I didn't interrupt you.
-Thanks for watching. Thank you, guys.
-There you go. Just a little remix.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Well, switching gears, guys, this is very sweet.
Apparently, every year for Christmas,
President Biden gives his wife, Jill,
a personal poem that he's written.
-Aww! -Isn't that cute?
Yeah, and this year, he's been writing a bunch,
trying to find the right one to give.
And we actually got a hold of the wastebasket
from the Oval Office that has some of the rejects.
Should I read some of them right now?
-I would, yeah. -This is the official waste...
-Wow! -...of the Oval Office.
James, can I get some poem-reading music, please?
[ Soft music plays ]
Oh, that's perfect.
Sweet, right?
This one here. How about this one? Oh!
-He really crumpled them up. -This says...
-Aww! -Isn't that sweet?
-That's cute. -It's cute.
He did crumble them up. He did crumble them all up.
Yeah. -Really hard.
-Yeah. Well, he probably shoots them in the basket.
-Yeah, probably did that from a long distance.
So, I mean, that's...
-Oh, there's another one. -Yeah.
-He wrote a lot of these. -Yeah. Oh, this is nice.
Well, it's close.
He's cl-- -He's close.
-He means well.
This is the last one here. -Wow, that one looks glued.
There you go. That's fantastic. Isn't that nice?
That's cute.
Merry Christmas, everybody. [ Cheers and applause ]
We got the wastebasket. -Wow.
That's so great you got that. -Yeah. You guys see this?
A new poll found that New York City Mayor Eric Adams'
approval rating is at 28%,
which is the lowest in that poll's history.
Yeah, he's pretty unpopular.
Check out this news thing I saw, local news.
-Mayor Eric Adams' approval rating is now at a record low,
according to a recent poll.
To put that in perspective, he's now less popular than...
and even...
-Oh, my God! That was in the local news.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Hey...
-Hey!
-Switching gears, I read that, on a recent flight from Canada,
an off-duty pilot had to step in
after the captain suffered an uncontrollable nosebleed.
Yeah. This is why before I board a plane,
I always double-check that the pilot's not a third grader.
[ Laughter ]
And this made things worse.
Instead of tilting his head back to stop the bleeding,
he tilted the plane.
-Oh. -Yeah, it was...
Guys, finally, we have exactly 12 shows left
before we go on Christmas break, which means it's time for that
beloved "Tonight Show" tradition.
It's time for "12 Days of Christmas Sweaters"!
-♪ "12 Days of Christmas Sweaters" ♪
♪ 12 days left ♪
-That's right.
Every show between now and Christmas,
we will be giving one lucky audience member
a spectacular Christmas sweater
from the Countdown to Christmas Cabinet.
Since there are 12 shows left, let's open door number 12.
[ Drumroll ]
Whoa!
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪
Wow. This is gorgeous. Look at this.
I don't know what that is. Holy moly.
Alright, now let's see
who's going home with tonight's sweater.
Everyone look at your seat number, okay?
If I call your number, I need you to jump up
and let me know where you are.
Quest, can I get a drumroll, please?
[ Drumroll ]
Who wants me to pick their number?
It's a good sweater.
[ Cheers and applause ]
442!
[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪
Hi!
How you doing? -Good. How are you?
-I'm fantastic.
What is your name and where are you from?
-Maria from Colombia. -Maria from Colombia!
Oh, my goodness.
Maria, you have a beautiful sweater on.
Does it get a little chilly in Colombia?
-Um, no. -No.
So this is perfect, because those rare occasions
when it does become chilly, you're going to have something.
Do you have anything like this? -No.
-No. Would you like to try it on?
-Of course. -Oh, my God.
Guys, give it up for Maria from Colombia.
[ Cheers and applause ]
You got your gla-- Oh.
-Thank you. -No pr--
Oh, Maria, this is -- I mean, this is gor--
Look at this. That's gorgeous.
Oh, you're a model. Thank you so much.
Give it up for Maria, everybody. Thanks again.
Stick around. We'll be right back with Olivia Rodrigo!