Hey Western TV! Uh...
Shoutout to you for being SHIT!
Hey! We’re Western TV. My name’s Rebecca McLaren.
And my name’s Griffin Jaeger.
Today we’re at Laurier University to see which university does St. Patrick’s Day best.
Let’s see how lucky we can get on Ezra today!
*music*
Okay, so what school are you guys from?
Laurier! You already know!
Laurier, obviously.
Is Laurier hard to get into?
No! Not at all.
We’re Laurier, bro. Laurier!
Laurier.
Is it hard to get into Laurier?
No…
You go to Laurier?
LAURIER!!!!
Are you from Western?
I’m from Western.
No! Boo! Get out!
Come back!
LAURIER!
HUMBER! HUMBER!
I’m from Fleming College.
I’m not in school, haha!
I’m from Western.
You’re from Western?
Yeah.
So you don’t go to Laurier?
I do not go to Laurier.
And you don’t go to Western?
I do not go to Western.
Do you go to Brock?
Nope.
Do you go anywhere?
Nah! I go to UIT.
What time did you guys start partying this morning?
I got up at like quarter to eight.
Yeah, I rolled me a J. And I f*cking like, started taking some shots.
YEAH! LET’S GO!!!!
7:30? I don’t even get up that early - do you guys get up that early for class?
I don’t get up that early for my 8:30. F*ck that! LET’S GO!!!!
Around like 8. Shotgunned a beer. Got ready to start.
Have you been shotgunning beers all day?
Oh, of course. That’s the only thing I do.
Ouu!
Haha! Oh yeah!
Uh, 9am?
9am?
We’re still new to this. Like amateur hour, you know?
Why do you think people say that Laurier’s the best St. Paddy’s Day?
That’s not true.
I think FOCO’s better. I'm sorry guys, but FOCO - FOCO over Paddy’s.
Laurier has more girls that like, don’t mind condoms. So, it’s like, it’s fine.
Why is Laurier the best St. Paddy’s Day?
Uh, it’s...dude look at it! C’mon, are you kidding me? LOOK. AT. THE. GIRLS.
Okay, why do we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day?
Okay, well there’s probably a good reason.
But for me, just an excuse to drink a coupla Growers. Fertilize the soil.
I actually have no idea.
It’s an excuse to drink.
To get f*cking hammered and have a great time with the boys.
My family’s 100% Irish, fun fact! We just did 23andMe - both sides - and I’m 100% Irish.
And I still cannot tell you why the f*ck we’re doing this!
Oh one word: alcohol. That’s it!
All praise St. Patrick's, baby!
So do you know why we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day?
No. No…
Why are you celebrating?
Cause I like Irish people!
Next question: are you Irish?
No, not at all.
I look white, but I’m not Irish.
Okay, but you are white?
Uh half white.
You’re full white! You’re white as f*ck!
I’m Spanish, bro! I'm Spanish!
Any of you Irish?
Nah.
Do we look Irish?
Did you say you're...are you Irish?
B*tch, I’m a ginger! Of course I’m Irish!
Are we making the Irish proud today?
YEAH!!!!!
So can you tell me a little about your look here today, my friend?
Uh, I bought it when I was really high.
So we’re green friendly…?
Uh...molly friendly.
I thought, you know - let’s take a little bit of molly, go to Party City, and see what happens.
And this is what happened.
Oh.
What do you have to say to the cops trying to shut this down?
I’m a cop. I’m in police foundations. They’re just doing their job, but let -
Let the f*cking kids party!
I’ve been directing traffic, so I’m doing half their job. I don’t even know why they’re here.
What would you like to say to the cops right now that are trying to shut this down?
The cops? Suck this d*ck.
Oh! F*ck the 5-0!
Uh, I’m legal. I’m supposed to be allowed to do this.
Uh, we’re not hurting anyone. So, let us have a good time.
At the end of the day, they gotta do their job. But like, at the same time you gotta let the
boys have fun, you know?
What are your thoughts on Western students?
Umm...Tinder looked pretty good.
How’s the Tinder game in - in Waterloo? Have you tried yet today?
Oh yeah!
Have you gotten any matches?
Oh yeah, yeah. A handful. It’s hit or miss!
What are your thoughts on Western students?
They’re awesome.
They’re awesome?
Oh yeah. If you go to Western, like you’re pretty sick.
They can party hard, and uh they’re nice people, and the girls are very beautiful too!
I - I have good buddies at Western. Aiden Badia, I f*cking love you bro.
Therefore, all Western boys are f*cking beauties.
So why do Laurier students hate Western students so much?
Cause it’s not f*cking Laurier!
Strong number two! Western’s number one.
Well, I think people are kind of threatened by Western because it’s so fun.
Um…
Cause they *****!
OH!
They’re not nice.
What are your tips for people trying to get through the day?
You gotta hydrate, and you gotta have some vegetables.
Beer for breakfast, beer for lunch, beer for dinner.
However, you have to eat, and you have to stay hydrated throughout the day.
Drink water - lots of water - but, make sure you don’t have to go to the washroom cause
there’s no washrooms here on Ezra.
What should we invest in?
You know what? I think you would probably be best to hedge in this market place right now.
So we can get money moving in this country, and I will be the one to do that one day.
J Church, baby!
I’m going all the way to the top.
Ayy! J Church for f*cking president, bro. Let’s go, let’s go!
It’s St. Patrick’s Day. They say: “Kiss me, I’m Irish!”
What are your best kissing tips?
I have a girlfriend!
So, are you good at kissing her? Like, you can still give us tips…
Uh, I’d like to think but we never know!
Um, honestly it’s eye contact and like, you know?
What are your best kissing tips?
Are you going to kiss me?
I am not going to kiss you.
Tongue, but not too much tongue because if you’re too aggressive, that is a no-go!
How much tongue? Can you show us?
Here…
Not with me!
All the - all the pretty ones are taken.
That’s what I’ve learned from my experience in this life.
So I’m ugly?
No! Because you’re beautiful.
Well first off, I don’t go - I don’t go shoot my shoot, okay? I slowly -
WRONG!
I slowly go in, and I -
Let’s go JC!
I give my shot.
Go all in, you know?
Go all in…
Kiss with your eyes open!
Stare at them!
And have you been getting good feedback with that - with that tip?
Have you? Yeah, it works every time. It works like a charm!
Bruh! A little bit of tongue, but not too much tongue, alright?
You don’t want to scare a girl!
I get b*tches, bro!
It’s been 2 years since he’s gotten laid!
2 years!
Have you ever kissed somebody?
NO!
Have I ever kiss -
Yo, what do you mean have I ever kissed somebody?
No.
I think it’s a no…
What are your plans for tonight? Are you going to be getting lucky?
My plans for tonight is to get f*cking my d*ck sucked!
YEEEAH-AYY!
Who knows? I’ll f*cking do anal tonight!
YEEEAH-AYY!
I will get lucky any day I want to get lucky.
Uh, probably not cause Laurier f*cked our dorms so we can’t bring anyone in.
You - you could do something outside…
Oh, you know what? F*ck it. Yeah sure, why not?
Hundred percent! Wearing this - not taking it off.
What are the odds?
I don’t know. You tell me, what are the odds?
I’m personally not interested, sorry!
Aww!
What are the craziest things that you guys have seen today?
Oh, well a girl just collapsed right behind you actually.
Uhh…
Her almost wiping out! Her almost falling would be pretty insane…
We saw people fall down the hill.
Oh! Kind of like that!
A girl fell off of someone’s shoulders.
My residence got destroyed!
Destroyed? How - how did it get destroyed?
Uh, there’s like 30 ceiling tiles busted out of the wall.
Saugeen ceiling tile punching happening over out in Waterloo!
I got a ticket for $225 dollars.
What did you do?
I had an open beer…
I saw someone fall from a tree.
Someone fall from a tree?
Yeah, some kid already fell from the tree.
Were they okay?
Uhh, I hope not.
What’s the craziest thing I’ve seen...?
Honestly, it’s not f*cking that great.
So sounds like nobody really knows why we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, but it sure
is a hell of a lot of fun!
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We’ll catch you later Western!