Would you like to know what the most overlooked
symptom of narcissism is? Check out this video and you're going to find out.
Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung and I've been recognized as one of the top 1% of attorneys in the country,
and I've written two best-selling books, Breaking Free: A Step‑By‑Step Divorce Guide and Negotiate
Like YOU M.A.T.T.E.R. and most importantly, what I do is I've helped thousands, millions of people
get out of relationships with narcissists. I have spent my career as a divorce attorney. I've also
had to deal with a couple of narcissists in my own life, and I've learned how to do it. So you
should subscribe to this channel and hit that notification bell so that you can get notified
when I upload new videos and new content so that you can finally escape or at least figure out
how to deal with and manage those narcissists in your life in a productive way that allows you to
continue to have peace of mind in your own life. So there's one particular trait
that everybody overlooks, but there are several traits that everybody
knows about with narcissists. So I'm going to just go through the ones that everybody knows about,
the ones that they think of when they think of narcissists and then at the end, I'm going
to let you know what the one is that everybody overlooks when they look at traits of narcissism.
Number one, shamelessness. So narcissists tend to be openly shameless. They'll just
go and do whatever they want. There's just certain things that narcissists do that I just
am so surprised by. I knew a narcissist one time who would just come into our law office and just
come right behind the desk and come right into one of our offices and not even ask. I find myself
with narcissists sometimes thinking, "Wow, I would never do that." There's just certain things that I
would never do that narcissist end up doing. But they're just completely shameless in that way.
So another trait of narcissism is entitlement. So they feel entitled to anything. They think
that they should have the best seat in the house, the best restaurant, the best this, the best that,
they should have the best spot in a show or something if they're in a show.
Whatever it is, they should be the best. They should have the best. And even if they're not
entitled to it, even if it's not something that they earned or something that they're
even qualified for, that don't care about that. It's just like they should have it.
So entitlement and also shamelessness, they're kind of like two little hands that fit together,
but slightly different, but definitely they're shameless and they feel entitled.
The next one is magical thinking. This is where they just keep going. They don't even look at
the path of destruction that they've created. They don't really care. They just imagine the world and
look at the world and interact with the world in the way that they want to see it. So it can really
definitely be difficult when you're negotiating with a narcissist in that sense because you
give an offer, they come back with a counter offer, you go back with an offer that incorporates
some of the things that they've already agreed to and now all of a sudden they say they never
agreed to that and that sort of thing. It's all this magical thinking. It's part of
the gas lighting and it's just how they think. They just live in their own form of reality.
Another trait that they have is envy. They're often very jealous of people. They're very jealous
of other people's accomplishments. They can't really congratulate people or be happy for people.
They feel like life is unfair. How come they got it? I should have it. They don't really like when
somebody else is getting attention that they feel like they should have. They're just very,
very jealous. Sometimes they're jealous of people that they don't even know. They'll be
watching something on TV and think, "Oh, why does that person have that? Why does ... Who
do they think they are?" They're just jealous and envious and all different facets, including
of course in their own personal relationships. It comes from this place of lack. They are not
abundance thinkers. They are scarcity thinkers. So if anybody has anything else they don't think
that, "Oh, I could do that too." Or, "I could have that too." Or, "Great for them." That's
their thing. That's something that's wonderful for them. It has nothing to do with me. They
definitely do not think that way. It's very much a jealous, envious small-minded way of thinking.
And if you are so ready to move on and create a new life, give me a so ready in the comments.
So the next one, and we're leading up to the one that most people overlook is
exploitation. They're users. They like to use people. Every single person is looked upon as,
what can I use? What can I get? Why am I even going to be talking to you at all? They're always
sizing people up to see if they are going to be a good form of supply for them. And if you want to
know more about narcissistic supply, check out my video on Narcissistic Supply, but supply is
anything that feeds their ego and you definitely are going to be looked upon by a narcissist
in terms of, what can you do for them? It's never reciprocated, by the way. It's like just to be in
their space at all, you better be doing something for them and if you want something out of them,
then you better be ready to reciprocate 100,000 fold and even that's not good enough.
You're supposed to do it all for them. The next one that you normally hear about
is lack of boundaries. And that is, narcissists just do whatever they think they want. They just
go wherever they want. They look through people's stuff. They will open people's mail. They will
go into people's closets. They will show up places that they're not supposed to show up.
They have no boundaries because they feel entitled and it all kind of gels together
into a toxic stew of yuck. But that's one of the things that they also have is no boundaries.
But the last one is the one that's most overlooked and that is that narcissists have
no sense of self. They feel very small inside. That's the not so secret secret. They feel
inside like nothing. They have a very fragile sense of self. So all of those other traits,
the ones that people see, the ones the people identify with the most, the ones that they use
that psychologists and psychiatrists use to determine if somebody is actually narcissistic are
actually all things that they layer on so that they can hide the fact that they have no sense of
self themselves. And so they make it look like The Wizard of Oz and they build all this stuff around
them to hide the fact that they are feeble, small, scared, and that you are actually the stronger one
and that's the thing that I really want you to understand when you're negotiating with them.
The biggest scam in the world is that they have you thinking that you're the one who's weaker.
They're actually the weaker ones. And when you go to negotiate with them, you can shift
that dynamic, you can turn it around, and the reason why you can turn it around is because
you can just go on the offensive. If you just start taking steps toward them in their direction,
they're going to start retreating, you'll see. And the way you're going to start doing that is
by getting my free Crush My Negotiation worksheet. It is an ebook. It's 15 pages. It is free to you.
You just get it at winmynegotiation.com. We'll also drop a link to that below. Also, please do
not deal with a narcissist by yourself. They isolate you. They make you feel like you're
crazy. They make you feel like no one else is dealing with exactly what you're dealing with.
And I'm telling you now, you are not alone. So come join me in my free private Facebook group.
It's called Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung, and you'll get so much support and so much
love and you're going to see that you're not alone. Also make sure you like this video,
give it a share, drop me that comment, tell me that you are so ready or anything else that you
would like to share and make sure that you have subscribed and you hit that notification bell
so that you'll get notified when I upload new videos. So I'm Rebecca Zung. Thank you so much
for joining me on this edition of Negotiate Your Best Life. I will see you in the next video.