*Whip sound* TOP OF THE MORNIN' TO YA LADIES! MY NAME IS JACKSEPTICEYE
and welcome to a cute little game called Astroneer!
And I'm joined by Robin! We're gonna explore a planet together.
Robin: Yeah. Space Robin, it's me!
*Jack laughs* Robin: Back again.
Robin: Less insulting this time.
Jack: Sooo *laughs* , yeah we're not - we're not insulting each other this time
We're just- It's a collaborative effort
We have to survive on this planet
Robin: Well, let's be honest.
we are gonna end up insulting each other anyway but-
Jack: That's what friendship is!
*Laughter*
Jack: Ummm
So we haven't played this game a lot but, it's new on Steam
and it's a pre-alpha and it looks really, really cool
and it's really cute and we like these types of games.
And it has-
Robin: and it's space!
and it has online co-op so we were going to try it out together
So I'M GONNA LAUNCH
GO!!! EXODYNAMICS ROCKET!!
It's so cool!
Robin: Godspeed. Jack: It reminds me of umm, "Grow... Up..?"
Robin: Oh yeah, yeah it does. Yeah
Robin: Especially the low-poly style as well. Jack: Yeah, and everything freaks out and...
Spazzes and loads and then, "Ahhh it's pretty".
*Robin and Jack laugh*
Robin: Aww, I love how colorful it is. Everything, this is like - This is what I.. I'm uhh...
Robin: A comparison that many people draw, is that this is No Man's Sky the way it should have been.
Jack: Yeah.
Robin: But this is the way I wanted No Man's Sky to look. Just color-wise.
Jack: Yeah instead of-
Robin: Not talking about game play or anything
Jack: Instead of Instragram filters and everything.
Robin: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jack: Umm, okay.
Jack: Now Robin has to launch and join me. I don't know where you're coming from though.
Robin: The problem is I don't see you on the planet anymore, I think you need to send another invite.
Jack: Ohhh!! You broke the game!!!
Robin: DANG IT!
Jack: I got a little moon man walk
*HEAVY BREATHING*
Robin: *chuckles* , you don't have do that with your mouth-
Jack: I'M HAVIN' FUN! I'M ROLEPLAYING!
Jack: Oh how wonderful it would be if I had a friend to explore this planet with.
Jack: Ohh, oh prithee.
Jack: Send me a friend...
Robin: I - I'm screaming at you but I'm in space so you can't hear me.
Jack: Yeah you're just like, (muffled) "RRRRRGGHHHH".
Jack: OHHH, I see a blue!
Robin: You see me?
Jack: I see a blue, ou - out in space.
Robin: I'm still up in space.
Jack: It's like a little dude with a hand sayin', "He - hey I - I'm... I'mma come over." (Robin: Ah there we go!)
Robin: Which suit did you pick? I wanna pick a different one.
Jack: I'm blue and white, I think.
Jack: YAAYY, you're moving!
Robin: Yeah!
Jack: I like your little symbol is just like, "He - hey, I'm comin' down."- WOAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Jack laughs*
Robin: I see a little house on my screen.
Jack: Ohh, look at you.
*Robin Coughs*
Jack: I wonder can you crush me with your pod?
Robin: No, get out of the way! (Jack: Okay let's not try that)
Jack: Yaaaaay!
Robin: I did it.
Robin: And now my spaceship's gonna leave me again.
Jack: Yeah, bye!
Robin: Peace out
Jack: Aww, you have a cool suit!
Robin: See I told you.
Jack: Oh man, bye ship!
Robin: Bye.
Jack: Can you still the blue little house? Okay, it just went off over the horizon. And now he's dead.
Jack: OKAY! Let's go collect sh*t. Stop deforming my ground.
Robin: But that's the point of the thing.
Jack: We have to collect compound.
Robin: Yeah, and you eat the... styrofoam
Jack: *laughs*
Jack: You eat the Asbestos!
Robin: *small laugh*
Jack: Oh, no power.
Robin: And then poop stuff.
Jack: Okay, I'm gonna make a solar panel
Robin: Okay, have fun..!
Jack: I think...
Robin: Oh yeah, and also...
uhhh...
Robin: As long as you have a blue cord, attaching you to something,
Robin: you have power and oxygen.
Jack: Yea!
Robin: But if you go too far, you don't.
Robin: And then you die.
Jack: Can I have my solar panel? There we go.
Jack: I'mma stick it on-
Robin: How do you make the tethers? Do you know?
Jack: You neeeeeeed...
Jack: ...whatever it says.
Jack: "Battery, tethers-"
Robin: Oh yeah, there we go!
Jack: We need compound.
Jack: Just made a little button, bro!
Robin: *high pitch* YAY, I DID IT! I'M SO COOL!
Jack: *high pitch* Oh gee, gosh.
Robin: I'm doing space, mom!
Jack: Umm, I'm makin' a beacon!
Robin: Tether.
Jack: OooOOOOhhhh. Robin: Oh I have to place it ma - Okay. I see.
Jack: So that extends our oxygen. OOOOHHHH, we're learning!
Robin: Te - Sh*t. Jack: Okay, I'mma go see what this is.
(Robin in the distance): But you don't have power. ;-;
Jack: I have enough.
Robin: I'll - I'll tether our way so you have a line to go back to.
Jack: This is oxygen. Heh.
Robin: Ohh, 'kay.
Jack: *giggles* R: We don't need oxygen in space, what do we look like?
Jack: Heh, wait why are you tethering then?
Robin: I don't- know -
Robin: Well, we can pick them back up.
Jack: Hey, look at that cloud. That one looks like Mickey.
Jack: And that one looks like a cease and desist.
*Jack and Robin giggles*
Robin: have you been watching JonTron? Jack: Noooo, I just really like him a lot, is all
Robin: Wait, where're we going and why? Jack: I don't f***ing know, there's- there's another blue arrow over here!
Jack: Lead on!
Robin: You're a blue arrow. J: You're a f-
Robin: I'mma eat some plants
Jack: Don't eat the plants!
Robin: omnomnomnomnom, *jack laughing*
Jack: (giggling) you're such a fatass
Robin: Noooo, they're tasty, they're healthy, it's plants- woah!
Jack: What's it even giving you?
You've no power!
Robin: Shit!
Ooooh, that's the problem, it's night time
Jack: Ah haha, that would make sense
Ooh, resin!
Ooh, this is useful.
Jack: We need the- R: Resin is good, yes!
Jack: We need this for stuff.
Robin: We can make modules-
*Jack making weird sounds*
I'm eatin' it all.
Robin: Do it! Eat that resin.
Jack: I feel bad though. We just arrived in this planet and now we're destroying it.
Robin: Well, we're humans, that's what we do.
Jack: Oh man, 'cause-
Originally I was gonna play this-
I'm talking to the people now! Robin: yea.
Jack: I was gonna play this on my own, but-
I don't know.
I play a lot of survival games on my own. I thought this would be fun, if we could actually just play it together.
And discover stuff together. R: Yea
Robin: It's nice- I really like that it has the functionality at all.
What are you doing?
Jack: Wuuuh!
Robin: Yea, build it!
Wow!
Robin: You're supposed to be able to make these in-
Yea yea yea.
I can do it, too.
Woahhhh
*again excited noises*
Robin: Now we can make shit.
Now we can make like - like actual modules.
Jack: A printer, a research, a smelter, a vehicle bay!
Robin: Vehicle bay!
Do it!
Jack: We need aluminium.
R: alOOminium!
J: or-
AL(OO)MINUM
Sorry!
Over here we say al-uh-min-ee-um! *country voice*
*both laugh*
Robin: Sorry, jeez, I'm not as cultured as you are.
Jack: Sorry, dad- Why did you put this tether like over here?
Robin: Shut up!
How do you- how do you store them, you know?
Jack: Right click?
Robin: Noo...
I just put like, a thousand tethers in one spot.
Oh shit... *Jack laughs*
Jack: Dooon't do that.
What are you doing?
Robin: I don't know! *agonized*
Jack: Come over here!
Oh, you're so fucking cute!
You have like a little Kerbal outfit on.
Robin: *laughs* Yea, I do!
*awww*
Jack: Adorable... Robin: Wait, we're not tethered...
Do we dare?
Jack: Yea! Robin: I'm out of tether.
Jack: You don't NEED to be tethered.
You get ox-
Your oxygen is the blue bar above your yellow bar.
Robin: *little kid's voice* I know, but it's scaary.
Jack: You think I give an ass?
Robin: No!
Robin: You don't give ass, you take ass. Jack: I'm collecting all the-
*laughs*
Jack: Goood one..!
Uh oh.
*little kid's voice* UH oh!
Ouchy!
Robin: Okay, the oxygen actually lasts a long-
Jack: Oh yea and you can suck oxygen of that rock over there!
*Jack laughs*
Jack: Hey, Ma!
Robin: Can you eat that though?
Jack: Yea, it goes into your backpack.
It's like: Billy, what are you doing?
Stop eating that oxygen off that rock!
*Robin laughs*
Robin: But Moooom!
Jack: Okay, research uses compounds and I have two compounds,
so let's just do that.
Robin: No, you don't eat the oxygen of the rock!
It just makes a little pebble in your backpack.
Jack: I made a research. *whispering*
Robin: Uh oh
Robin: Shouldn't have done that. Jack: I don't know what that do.
Robin: You should NOT have done that... Jack: It has- It has power on it.
Jack: It has more power, oh wait is that like a timer for how much it's done?
Also, what is it, why are there a bunch of like floaty balls on the ground?
Jack: What are you?
Oxygen!
J: The oxygen just floats on the ground apparently. *laughs*
R: Yeah, Have you- have- have you never seen oxygen before, jeez.
Jack: WAIT! There's some right there! Look at it go! Holy shit!
Jack: *Disturbing inhaling sound* Uuugh. Goes down smooth.
*both chuckle*
Robin: Very oxygen-y Jack: *laugh/coughs* I like.. sucked up a bunch of saliva at the same time.
Robin: Careful man, you don't want to get too much oxygen.
Jack: I'm living how the fish do.
Robin: Do you wanna just dig a hole?
Like Joey on the beach in friends?
Jack: I don't know, because we won't get out of it!
Robin: Well... I don't need to get out of it!
I just wanna get in the hole!
Jack: Okay.
What happens if we just put compound down in the thing?
Nothing's happening with this research!
Robin: Shit.
I'm dying.
Help.
Help!
*Jack doesn't give a fuck*
Heeelp.
I'm not dying. I'm just kidding.
We like to have fun here. *Jack laughs*
Jack: Aw, we fucked up our thing then.
Oops, my b.. Robin: WE? You!
Jack: My b..
Because I put down the research, now we have to extend another thing off our pod
Jack: OOPS. Robin: Yeah, yeah, yeah
Robin: I know.
Well, it only takes resin.
The thing is, I don't know what the research is good for.
Absolutely nothing?
Uh, hah. Good god, y'all.
*Jack laughs* *fart noise*
Jack: Okay so we're makin' aaah... a vehicle bay outta this one.
Robin: Okay, yeah.
Jack: OR A SMELTER.
Robin: No, a vehicle bay!
Jack: Awww... bu- Robin: VE-HICLE BAY VE-HICLE- I'm gonna make another solar panel.
Because I feel like we might need it.
Jack: *disappointed* Okay...
I- Imma go over to these blue arrows!
Robin: Okay have fun, ah ha.
I'm- I'm gonna... not.
Jack: What is this? What am I suckin' up?
Are you aluminium? Robin: What are you suckin'?!
DON'T GO OUT SUCKIN' STRANGE THINGS!
Jack: I WANNA SUCK WHATEVER I WANNA DO.
Robin: We've been over this!
You know what happens when you suck strange things...
Jack: God there's a lotta shit in dis-
AW IT'S A BIG RESIN CHUNK. Robin: Oh nice, eat it.
Jack: Woaaah...
And I'm assuming... okay. I'm just gonna go out on a limb here... and assume that
blue ones suckin' off rocks are oxygen,
so this one over here is power.
Robin: Oh yea- Jack: IMMA SUCK THE POWER... off the rock.
Robin: Power IS yellow, by the way.
Jack: Oh yeah, it just filled my battery pack... sweet!
I like that it fills up like a clump of the stuff in the back of your gun
and then it goes into your backpack. That's really cool
Robin: Oh yeah, yeah yeah. Very nice.
Jack: DUDE WE HAVE OXYGEN-
Robin: And you can always see what's in your backpack. I like that.
Jack: Yeah and you always see your... it's a very Dead Space type of UI.
Robin: Yeah, yeah yeah.
Jack: Dude, we can last weah-oxgen fer aaaallever.
Robin: We c'n askfer *heaves & coughs* dead.
Jack: I want some cheese pizza. * in a strange voice*
I'M SUFFOCATING. OH SHIT. Robin: Okay, have fun!
*Jack screams*
Jack: Oh god I'm really dying! FUCK!
Robin: You should've just brought some tethers, man!
Jack: I DIDN'T KNOW... I WAS SO YOUNG!
NO EVERYTHING'S GOIN' DARK.
AH I SUFFOCATED! *dying noises*
*Jack laughs*
Robin: Hello!
Jack: Oh, hi... Robin: Welcome back!
If you go find- if you go find your corpse you'll get all your shit back.
Jack: Aaaah!
Robin: Yeah, yeah yeah.
Jack: Df- deh.... why was I freakin' out? *laughs*
I was just like... Robin: We can bring tethers...
Jack: AH JESUS! Oh hey.
Jack: Oh I'm right bes- Robin: We just need one compound chunk.
and then you make like... 10 tethers.
Jack: Dude, I already am at my body. *chuckles*
Robin: Oh okay, fine. I thought you were-
Jack: I'm just face down in the fuckin' dirt!
*both laugh* Robin: Oh hahaha, yeah.
Jack: Oh god, it's so ridiculous lookin'!
*body disappears* Aaaand he vanished.
Robin: Yeah...
Jack: I hate that guy...
*Robin laughs* Robin: Ah, he was a douche anyways. Good riddance.
*Jack chuckles*
Jack: Okay, Imma- Robin: WOAH. THERE'S LIKE A GIANT THING HERE!
It's like a crashed spaceship!
Jack: WOAH. Robin: Ooooh this is amazing!
Jack: STOP SEEIN' COOL SHIT WITHOUT ME!
Robin: Sooorry, I'll go back...
Jack: I wanna see a- I see a sign that says cooooompooound.
Robin: I'll- I'll put some more tethers down so we can go to it.
It's over by the flower over there. *Jack gasps*
Jack: I see it!
... But look at all this reeeesin.
Woah... Robin: You vacuum.... You do some cleaning, honey.
I'm gonna go over here.
Jack: Don't call me honey...
Robin: Okay, I'm out of stuff. Let's go.
*Jack chuckles and pants*
Robin: What is this?! It's like a giant portal gun!
Um... can we- can we suck it?
Jack: No we can clear around it... and it falls down. But...
Robin: But I wanna suck it...
Jack: Wooooah. Look at this thing, it's blue and orange!
Robin: You think this is like... just a failed-
Jack: OH I GOT A RESEARCH THING. LOOK AT THIS!
Robin: Woah woah woah woah woah!
Bring it home!
*Jack screams*
Jack: *sings* I'm commin' home, I'm commin' home!
Robin: *speaking* I'll tell the world.
Jack: That I'm commin' home?
Robin: Yeah, yeah yeah.
Jack: Thanks, man.
It just looks like somethin' that you'd put clothes into to wash them. (Like a washer, Jack?)
*Robin laughs* Robin: Maybe it is!
Our space suits are probab- *Jack makes flying saucer noises*
Jack: UFO. *continues the noises*
Can you see this UFO? *continues again*
Robin: I can! *breaks into laughter halfway through*
*more saucer noises and laughing*
That's how they do it! It's just a guy carrying all the-
Jack: DAS NOTTA UFO, DAS A GUUUY.
*both laugh*
Robin: I'm gonna go- oh, there's a cave over here.
You go home with that. I'm gonna go to the cave and tether up-
Jack: Okay... Robin: So you can just run over.
Jack: I don't like how this- Awww, I put it right on top of the research thing.
Robin: You don't like how what?
Jack: Makes us sound like a fuckin' married couple.
AW IT'S DOIN' SOMETHIN'.
I RESEARCHED a ball! ...
Robin: Nice! I've always wanted one!
Jack: Oooh, it's like a random generation thing.
Robin: Oh. Jack: It comes out and it like... cycles through like a...
casino machine and then it lands on one.
Robin: Ooooh, like a Super Mario Kart power up!
Jack: Yeah. So I... I got filters apparently.
Robin: Okay, we can make some coffee.
Jack: I dunno what these do...
Robin: Filter stuff!... I would assume.
Jack: Filters... I can click on them. I can look at them. I don't know what they do.
Robin: Can you suck them?
Jack: No, they just go in my backpack.
Robin: Oh... well that's nice. It's like a decoration!
SHIT. I'M SURFIN'. I'M SURFING!
Jack: STOP SURFIN'
Robin: Aw, I'm- but I'm in a cave! It's cool!
Jack: Did the filters give me more oxygen?
Robin: I'm scared...
Jack?
Could you come over here?
Jack: That's not my real name. Shut up.
Robin: Sean?
*Jack starts laughing* Sean: DAMN IT.
Sean: HE FIGURED IT OUT! FUCK. Robin: Could you come over here?
Robin: Uuuh, okay so down where the tethers end, there's like a cave system under the ground.
And there's also a cave in the mountain. Jack: Ooh.
Robin: I'm scared.
I haven't gone into either...
Jack: You're not uncovering things though...
You need to uncover.
Wooooah.
Robin: See? I told you. It's spooky down here.
Jack: This's badass!
Robin: Okay, Imma- Imma- Mah tether us up.
Jack: I'M RUNNIN'. I'M GOIN'. *Jack laughs*
Robin: Oh... okay. Jack: SEE YA LATER.
Robin: I'll *chuckles* I'll plonk down-
Jack: AH GOD I FELL.
Robin: Did you- did you die?
Jack: Ummm.... Nooooo
Yeeesss...
Robin: Just a- just a little bit?
Jack: Small bit...
I- I went runnin' and he had a bit of momentum and he slid off the edge and died-
It wasn't my faaaault!
Robin: Woah, there's green shit down here!
Jack: Yeah...
Das mah body... *chuckles*
Robin: Oh... I can steal all your stuff!
Jack: NOOOO. *Robin cackles*
Robin: I can point!
Jack: Umm... my body's down there...
...
Robin: You mean down...
Jack: Like, literally right below us.
Robin: Down there? *chuckles*
Jack: SHUT UP!
*Robin laughs*
Jack: *gasp* Look at the big ship! Robin: Can we go into the cave?
A ship?
Jack: On the side of the mountain!
Robin: Are you finding cool shit?
Jack: Over here! Right- right there!
Robin: Where?
Jack: Are you fuckin' blind?
Robin: Yeah.
WOAH!
Jack: YEAH! *chuckles*
Robin: It hadn't- it hadn't spawned in for me!
Das crazy!
Jack: Woah...
Robin: Look there's a bunch of compounds just sittin' there!
Get them! Suck em!
Jack: I got organic... there's titanium as well, apparently.
Robin: It's making a beep beep!
Jack: OOOH ALUMINIUM.
Robin: We need that! For... I forget...
Okay, you go deal with that.
Jack: Ooooh.
Robin: That's cool... Jack: Oooh my oxygen's runnin' out...
*Jack screams*
Aw, I lo- I lost my beacon...
Awwwwwwwwoh.
I could've put a beacon on the ship... Robin: Wait what?
Jack: The beacon is on my dead body... *chuckles*
Robin: Oh yeah... *laughs* Sorry.
There'll be other beacons, man.
Jack: I'm gonna go make a vehicle bay.
Robin: There's plenty of beacons in the sea... You go do that!
I'm gonna explore this uh....
pulsating... yellow... oblong... phallic.. thing.
Jack: Uuuuuh. I've seen enough...
penises to know where this is going.
Robin: Uuum.
Ummm
There's... things moving in here.
What the hell is this?
Jack: Where are you?
OH MY GOD. LOOK AT THE FUCKIN' PLANETS RIGHT NOW!
Look back at our ship!
Robin: Woah... WOAH!
Jack: Can you see that big blue ball?
Robin: Yeah! *laughs*
Jack: Jesus Christ, that scared the shit outta me!
I thought it was a giant spaceship comin' to kill us!
Robin: Woooah... it's so fast!
Jack: Yeah, what the hell? *laughs*
Robin: Maybe with our vehicle bay, we can make ourselves a vehicle capable of going to other planets.
Jack: Well, today's your lucky day! Cause I'm makin' it!
It looks like... Awwwww badass!
It has no power...
I need to take- I need to take one of the solar panels.
Robin: Ew, this pulsating thing says 'Unknown' and it's making squishy noises...
Jack: Ewww! How do I power you?
Robin: I- you have to put power in them.
Like actual power pellets.
Jack: Aw... how do we make them?
Robin: You suck up power! When your backpack is full, it turns into a pellet instead.
Jack: Oooooh, that's why we suck up power. I thought it was for our backpacks...
Robin: Yeah, it's ALSO that. But when the backpack's full, it just makes it a thingy.
Jack: Oooh, yous'a clever. *high pitched voice*
Robin: So how do you actually make vehicles with this though?
I'll put a power in it. Bop!
Jack: Woooah.
Robin: See? Now it's filling up on the front-
Jack: Woooooah, I don't has any of that. I has organic and titanium...
Aw so close...
Okay... I think we should end the episode here.
Robin: Yeah.
Jack: And continue on next time.
Robin: Do you wanna go explore the- the creepy cave?
Jack: Yeah. We're- we're gonna explore further next time and we're gonna maybe build a vehicle?
Robin: We'll try. Jack: Dude, if we get a vehicle, we're gonna be able to go for miles. Like... Mark... Watney.
Robin: Yeah! And we can live on potatoes.
Jack: Yeah! Potato science! Robin: Yeah!
Jack: OK!
Well THANK you guys, so much for watching this episode
If you LIKED it...
PUNCH THAT LIKE BUTTON IN THE FACE!
LIKE A BOSS!!!
And!
High fives all around...
WAPOOSH.
Thank you guys and I will see all you dudes..!!
IN THE NEXT VIDEO!!! *voice cracking*
Jack: LOWER! That's what I was gonna pick...
OH IT'S THE SAME! YOU ALMOST FUCKED ME UP!
Doesn't that look like a little sad face?
Tink! OH MY GOD I SPLIT THE BULLET!
*Jack screams & laughs*
Robin: Come look at the- come look at the... pod.
Jack: What are you doing- It looks like you're pooping in it.
Robin: Yeah! I'm on the toilet!
*Jack and Robin laugh*
Jack: Get off the turlet! (Thanks for watching!!!)