-Hello, everyone.
Welcome to "The Tonight Show At Home Edition."
My name is Jimmy Fallon. It is May 1st today.
Actually wearing this in honor of Gigi Bryant.
Today would've been her birthday
and so I'm going to do the show in honor of Gigi
and play like Gigi,
which is with all heart and leading with kindness.
I'm thinking about the whole family today, guys.
Let's get to some jokes.
Here we go.
Let's get to some news. Governor Cuomo said that,
for the first time in history the New York City subways
won't run 24/7, so that they can be cleaned each night.
Yeah, that's right. It's better than the old way
they cleaned the subways --
taping a Swiffer pad to a rat.
Some entertainment news. I saw that Disney
is working on a live action remake of "Hercules."
No word yet on who they want to play Hercules, so...
just gonna put that out there and...
wait for the call.
An-y minute.
Disney will call.
Just sayin'.
Hercules.
Hey, I wanna say congratulations to Anderson Cooper,
who's the father of a new baby boy!
[ Clapping ] Yay!
That's awesome.
You can tell having a newborn
has already taken its toll on him.
Here is a photo of Anderson on Monday
and here he is today.
I read that, since the quarantine began,
"Jeopardy!" has had very strong ratings.
Well, I think it's starting to affect the show.
Take a look at some of the categories from last night.
First, there's Name of Friends You Forgot Existed.
Next, there's Coworkers' Homes You've Judged through Zoom.
Then there's "Sitting and Staring."
There's also "Cocktails That Taste Bad, But Get the Job Done."
And, finally, there's Potent Edibles.
Some sports news. I saw this year's
Little League World Series has been canceled.
All the players heard that and were like,
[ Baritone ] That sucks! [ Inhales ]
Well, back to quarantine.
What's that? When was I born?
Uh...
two thousand, uh...
2014.
Meanwhile, NASCAR announced that it plans
to resume its season on May 17th,
with seven races in 11 days.
That's great. What better way to spice up
living the same day over and over
than watching guys driving in a circle over and over?
This is cool -- LeBron James just unveiled
the title of next year's "Space Jam" sequel.
It's called "Space Jam: A New Legacy."
Everyone's excited 'cause, at this point,
50 million people would watch
Bugs Bunny take free throws [ Laughing ] on ESPN.
Still waiting for that call from the Disney folk.
I read that, because of the coronavirus,
actors may stop doing sex scenes in movies.
This is weird -- Once the news broke,
the running time for "Space Jam 2"
was cut in half.
Wow!
And, finally, I saw that Pillsbury
is now selling Funfetti cereal.
Take a look this.
Yeah. It doesn't come with a toy.
It comes with a tiny bottle of insulin.
There you go, everybody. That is my monologue joke,
right there.
We have a great show tonight.
The very funny, the very talented Jon Hamm is here.
He's gonna talk about this
"Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" project
they have comin' up on Netflix. It's really cool.
And he is supporting stjude.org.
Winnie kind of -- -[ Laughing ]
-She was in a rush to play video games.
-[ Laughs ]
-"St. Judd."
St. Jude is the organization.
Also, Brene Brown, who is amazing.
She's gonna talk to us about what's happening right now
and how we should all be feeling.
She's just so fun and smart and charming. I love her.
And we have great music from Hailee Steinfeld,
who's going to do part 1 of her two-part project
that's coming out May 8th.
It's called "Half Written Story,"
is the name of her thing.
And we also have a fun soap opera
called "The Longest Days of our Lives"
that I'll get to, but that's gonna benefit
The Actors Fund right there.
But [ Laughs ] you have to see that.
Oh, and Salesforce, I want to say thank you.
If you text "meals" to 80100,
you'll donate $10 to World Central Kitchen
and Salesforce said that they will match up to $250,000.
So that could be $500,000 going to World Central Kitchen,
which will be amazing.
And they're gonna do it through June 1st.
So we wanna thank our friends over at Salesforce
for doing that and working with us this whole week.
They've been great.
And for their commitment to helping families,
small businesses,
and many others affected by COVID-19.
Thank you, Salesforce.
I'm feeling very thankful today,
to not only them, but maybe it's a good time
to write out thank-you notes.
[ Funk sting plays ]
-Hi, everybody.
-Smile.
[ Laughs ]
-Hi, Fran. -Alright. Ready? No, not yet.
I don't have music yet.
-Oh, good, big yawn.
Friday yawn. Okay. -Alright.
Guys, it's Friday.
That's usually when I send out my thank-you notes.
Can I can get some thank-you note writing music,
please, Winnie?
♪♪
[ Whispering ] Go.
Thank you, "Trolls" movie,
for somehow making quarantine hair look stylish.
Go.
♪♪
Thank you, tiramisu Oreos,
for being the perfect dessert after some duck confit
Hot Pockets.
[ Laughs ]
That's it. That's good.
Thank you, Cinco de May-o --
Cinco de Mayo, for being a great day
to enjoy a Mexican beer, like Modelo, Tecate, or --
Just Modelo and Tecate.
Go. next one.
[ Whispering ] Go.
Thank you, squirrels,
for being the original panic shoppers.
♪♪
[ Whispering ] Go.
Thank you,
ending of Zoom calls, -[ Laughter ]
-for being a mad dash to not be
the last two people stuck in the room.
Oh, wow. Hey, Craig.
How you doing? Everything's okay with you?
Yep.
Thank you, Roombas,
for looking at us and thinking, "You're home all day.
Why am I still doing this for you?" [ Laughs ]
♪♪
Thank you, ceiling fans,
for having two speeds -- low
and shaking the entire house down.
♪♪
Thank you, homeschooling,
for proving my teachers were right when they said
I'd need to know how to do fractions as an adult.
-[ Laughs ]
-Thank you, butter,
for being the only thing in the fridge
with its own studio apartment.
♪♪
[ Whispering ] Go.
No.
♪♪
Okay, here we go.
Thank you, "Journey is the destination,"
for being the motto of people who have arrived
at a bad destination. -[ Laughs ]
-And finally --
[ Voices overlapping ]
Okay, here's the last one.
♪♪
Thank you, Fred and Shaggy from "Scooby-Doo,"
for looking like a before-and-after
of a guy going through quarantine.
Guys, that is our show.
Thank you so much. What are you doing?
-[ Laughing ]
[ Both humming ]
-Thank you. Okay.
Stay tuned. We have a great show.
More "Tonight Show" when we come back.
A fun, fun soap opera with Will Ferrell,
Kristen Wiig, and a very special guest -- Jake Gyllenhaal.