(audience applause)
(beep)
- Hi. You reached the, uh, answering machine
of Lebron James. Uh, I just wanna say...
Ho- where you- where you go...
My fault, that's my hairline. He said
he moving on without me. Uh-
(audience laughter)
You know, I just wanna thank, you know,
the whole Cleveland Organization for this-
- Good game, baby!
- Chris Bosh, we not on teams no more, man!
(bell dings)
(audience laughter)
(audience cheering)
(beep)
- You have reached the voicemail of a giant!
(audience laughter)
I am the owner of the billion dollar Big Baller brand!
(audience laughter)
All 15 of my sons play in the NBA.
(audience cheering)
I made millions of dollars playin' against Michael Jordan
for 2 seconds.
(audience laughter)
(bell dings)
Thank you. I appreciate you.
(audience cheering)
- I consider this a huge honor to be able to say to you,
"Oh!"
(laughter)
Your first Wing Stop was in Memphis, Tennessee.
What's the name of the starting point guard that plays
for the Memphis Grizzlies?
- I know the answer. I know the answer.
(audience laughter)
I'm just not gon' say it yet, but-
(laughter)
- Ja Morant? Yes! You got it everyb-
He got it, everybody! Ja Morant.
- Boss can't get it wrong, he da boss!
- [Chico] That's the boss right there.
- [DJ D-Wrek] The Jordan Face.
- Aye!
♪ Eat that ass up, eat that ass up ♪
(bell dings)
- That's the wrong damn Jordan!
- Do the "I Thought We Were Up By One"!
♪ Eat that ass up, eat that ass ♪
(audience laughing)
- [Nick] Uh.
(audience laughing)
(bell dings)
- What are you doing, JR?
JR!
- Do the "Lean With It, Block With It".
♪ Eat that ass up, eat that ass up, eat that ass up ♪
(audience laughter)
(bell dings)
♪ Eat that ass up, eat that ass up ♪
♪ Aye, I'm just here to shoot my shot ♪
♪ I like to dribble balls to the spot ♪
♪ Wait a minute, I didn't like how that sound ♪
♪ But I shoot my shot and made the dunk ♪
♪ Dunk the ball ♪
♪ And do what I gotta do ♪ - Basketball player.
♪ Dunk the ball and do what I gotta do ♪
♪ NBA player, thank you for telling me ♪
(audience cheering)
(upbeat hip hop music)
♪ Everybody in the NYC ♪
♪ Throw your hands in the air if you follow me ♪
♪ Everybody in the NYC ♪
♪ Throw your hands in the air if you follow me, check it ♪
♪ Every Wednesday to Thursday ♪
♪ I'm on TNT, yes, it's my day ♪
♪ I got a million bucks ♪
♪ I chill with Smart Kenny and Dumb Ass Chuck ♪
(audience laughter) - [Nick] Aye!
♪ Do you understand? ♪
♪ Nick's a boy, Shaq is a man ♪
- Whatever!
♪ This is how I do ♪
♪ I'm the one, Nick is not a two ♪
(laughter)
♪ Or a three, or a four, or a five ♪
♪ Wednesday, Thursday, TV, live ♪
- Okay, are you a sportscaster?
(audience cheering)
(bell dinging)
- The scene is in the bleachers.
(audience cheering)
- This what Ja Rule concert feel like, this is cool.
- Aww.
(audience laughter)
- [Mikey] Welcome back to the game, let's see who we have
on the Kiss Cam!
- Oh, nah. Hell naw!
(audience laughter)
- Uh uh, Amber! Where yo boyfriend at, girl?
(audience cheering)
(bell dings)
- Damn, the WNBA really needs to start givin' out tickets.
(audience laughter)
(buzzer)
Coach, put me in!
- Your scene is at a pick-up game.
(audience clapping)
- What we playin' for? - Your heart.
(audience awes)
♪ You made a fool of me ♪
(bell dings) ♪ Tell me why ♪
(audience cheers)
- That was a good one.
I said, "That was a good one".
(audience laughter)
(buzzer)
- What?
- Bro, stop fouling! - It's not foulin',
it's streetball, boy!
(imitates gunshots)
(bell dings)
- Aw man, lemme get yo number.
- Brick!
- I said lemme get yo number. - Brick!
- Lemme take you out.
- CashApp.
(audience laughter)
(bell dings)
- Yo we gon' get to this first game, y'all ready?
- [Audience] Yeah!
- It's one that we usually use a Wild N' Out girl in,
so we gon' switch it up!
And we gon' bring one of the Brooklyn Nets to the stage!
Y'all make some noise for Spencer Dinwiddie one time,
give it up for 'im!
(audience cheering)
Now- - What's up, baby?
- Spence, you tall, you dark, you handsome,
you got a lotta money...
All you gotta do is stand yo ass right here,
all right? - Aye I'm good with that.
- Just stand here
and we gon' play a little game called "Let Me Holla".
- Let's do it.
(audience cheering)
- All the teammates gon' get the opportunity
to come holla at you.
You single, right?
- More or less. - We'll talk about that later.
- Okay. (audience laughter)
- So MC Lyte, if that pick up line is funny,
give 'em a bell. It's not funny, they get that buzzer.
Y'all ready? Let's wild out!
(audience cheering)
- I just got one question...
what dat mouth do?
(audience cheering) (bell dings)
(audience cheering)
- Hey, Professor Dinwiddie. - What's happening?
- You know you my favorite teacher.
- Oh, word? - I brought you this apple.
Oop! Wrong one. (audience laughter)
Lemme be honest. I'm not tryna get good marks this semester,
so you gon' F me or gimme that D?
(audience cheering) (bell dings)
- Wow.
(audience cheering)
- [Unknown] Let's go, red!
- Let me ask you something.
You ever been with a white lady before?
'Cause I'm gonna be screamin' your name the same way
I scream to speak to the manager at Panera Bread!
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
(audience clapping)
(audience cheering)
- Hey cutie! - What's up?
- How're you doing? - Good.
- Good! Well, I see you're so strong, you have them biceps.
Can you hold this?
That's a buzz! That's a- (buzzer)
(laughter)
- It's okay!
(audience cheering)
- Hey, sweetheart. - What's up?
- Says here on Wikipedia that you're 6'6".
Now, is that hard or soft?
(audience cheering) (bell dings)
(audience cheering)
- Okay, I'ma keep it real with you.
(audience laughs)
Ladies don't care about the Brooklyn Nets,
but we might wanna see them Brooklyn Nuts!
(bell dings) (audience cheers)
(bell dinging)
(audience cheering)
- [Nick] Spencer...
You feel violated at all, yet?
- Yeah. (laughter)
- Y'all make some noise for Spencer Dinwiddie!
(audience cheering)
- Hey, hey! You Britney, right?
- Mm-hmm. - I heard you love basketball.
- I do. - Well, why won't you
let me give you some of this K.D.?
(audience cheering)
(bell dings)
- The topic is "Basketball Moves".
♪ Now you wild out ♪
♪ I'ma take it through my legs, I'ma take it through my ♪
♪ Legs, I'ma take it through my legs ♪
♪ Now you wild out ♪
♪ I'm dunkin' on yo ass, I'm dunkin' on yo ass ♪
♪ I'm dunkin' on yo ass, now you wild out ♪
♪ I'm sitting on the bench, I'm sitting on the bench ♪
♪ I'm sitting on the bench, now you wild out ♪
♪ I got a max contract, got a max contract ♪
♪ Got a max contract, now you wild out ♪
- You wild out, girl. Okay!
(bell dings) - [Nick] Now you wild out.
- Your topic is "Sitting Courtside".
♪ Aye put me in coach, put me in coach ♪
♪ Put me in coach, now you wild out ♪
♪ Give me yo jersey, give me yo jersey, give me yo jersey ♪
♪ Now you wild out ♪
♪ I'm trippin' the players, I'm trippin' the players ♪
♪ I'm trippin' the players, now you wild out ♪
♪ This is my seat, this is my seat, this is my seat ♪
♪ Now you wild out ♪
♪ Aye dis my homeboy, dis my homeboy, dis my homeboy ♪
♪ Now you wild out ♪
♪ He not supposed to be here, he not supposed to be here ♪
♪ He not supposed to be here, now you wild out ♪
♪ I'm puttin' nuts in the rim ♪
(audience laughter)
(bell dings)
(bell dinging)
(audience cheering)
♪ Pick up and kill it, and kill it, and kill it ♪
- Your topic is "Basketball Teams".
♪ Pick up and kill it, and kill it, and kill it ♪
♪ Yo, Nick Cannon stay scrammin' ♪
♪ I'm gettin' money like I stay scammin' ♪
♪ Killin' (indistinct), pink range like I'm killin' Karen ♪
♪ I'm demanding, y'all stay glarin' ♪
♪ We stay glarin' but you wearin' my team ♪
♪ We're the Red Squad, you know what we mean ♪
♪ Every time we rock we stay fresh clean ♪
♪ But you over here tryna be on my team ♪
♪ You tryna be on my team, you won't look mean ♪
♪ Catch me in the streets and I'm ridin' in the Beam ♪
♪ All my ganstas lean, you starin' at a beam ♪
♪ You talkin' that, huh, we gon' put you in the street ♪
♪ Put me in the street, that's where you from ♪
♪ Harlem, Brooklyn, where you want some ♪
♪ Y'all don't want none because we bring the hookin' ♪
♪ Everybody know. Shouts out to Brooklyn ♪
♪ Pick up and kill it, and kill it, and kill it ♪
(bell dings) (audience cheering)
- [DC] Do ya thang!
- Nick, Nick, Nick, what's up man?
- 'Preciate you. - Yeah, I don't like that
you're suckin' on stuff, but anyway.
(audience laughter)
Matt Barnes, what's up man? - What's up, baby?
- Ah! Remember you did that to Kobe? Ah, you remember that?
(audience laughter)
All right, but look, I ain't gon' keep ya up here long.
I know you got a SCurl box to pose for or somethin', so uh.
(audience laughter)
My question to you is really, really simple man.
Uh, I wanna know exactly
what made you whoop Derek Fisher's ass?
(audience laughs and oohs)
- It's just rules to the game, that's it.
- So you confirming that you whooped his ass?
- Absolutely. - Aight, so wait-
(audience cheering)
(audience laughter)
(audience cheering)
- Here we go. - [Chico] Get 'im, DC.
- Matt, what's up?
Matt, just reachin' for a- aight?
(audience laughter)
Since you already confirmed
that you whooped Derek Fisher ass, you know- (laughs)
I'm goofy! Was the (beep) like, "Ah! (beep)! Damn!"
(audience laughter)
"You fight better than you play basketball! Damn!"
(laughter) How was it?
- He ran all through the house, I had to catch him.
- He ran all through the house?
- Like a- like a mouse!
- The house you paid for? - The house I paid for.
- The house you paid for? - All through the house.
- You a real (beep)!
(audience cheering)
Damn, that's a (beep)!
- [Nick] You keepin' it all the way G!
- Dwight Howard, I'm sorry. We have the originator,
the real Superman in here. You guys seen 'im.
For the Los Angeles Frosted Flakers,
he played for the Miami Eat, give it up for
Shaquille Oatmeal!
(audience laughter) (bell dings)
- You know what? I can't even believe this, man.
I'm- I'm- I'm really 'bout to-
I'm 'bout to start cryin' 'cause...
I never thought I was gon' see them in person like this,
you know what I'm sayin'? Like, they known
for blocking shots man, like-
and you only see 'em on TV, man, like...
Y'all make some noise for Dwight Howard's shoulders!
(audience cheering) (bell dings)
(screaming)
- And the award goes to D. Rose.
(audience laughter)
(clapping) - Oh!
(audience laughter)
- (beep)!
(laughter)
- Get up there D, get up there Derek!
- Yeah!
(groans)
- Thank y'all so much for this Basketball Longevity award!
(audience laughter)
I dedicate this one to God- I just ripped my armpit!
(groans)
You can do it, D. Take a deep breath.
(inhales) Too deep, I punctured my lungs. Goodbye!
(bell dings)
(audience cheering)
- The award goes to Kevin Durant.
(audience cheering)
- [Nick] Let's go, Red Squad!
KD!
- Wow! (laughs)
The MLP, Most Loyal Player award.
This is crazy! (audience laughter)
I would like to thank the fans of Oklahoma- Ah! Sh- ah...
Uh, Golden State Warriors, my bad.
- Ayo, yo, yo, yo. KD man, you forgot something, bruh.
- What's this? - That's a brush.
- Pfft!
Use no brush!
(audience laughter)
And, uh, to the Black Team, you know what I'm saying?
Look like y'all winnin', so if you need somebody next season
holla at ya boy!
(audience laughter)
(buzzer)
- Thank you! Took you long enough!
- Come on! - You dead serious, bro?
- Rest in power!
(audience cheering)
(upbeat hip hop music)
♪ Uh, I'm the Man of Steel, yeah I'm your homie ♪
♪ I don't eat beef unless it's Kobe ♪
♪ I'ma cop but you gotta understand ♪
♪ before Will Smith was the Genie, I was Kazaam ♪
(audience laughing)
- Shaq!
(bell dings)
(audience cheering)
- We're gonna do it for all the people out there
who have messed up Jays. DJ D-Wrek, give it to me.
(audience cheering)
Well, let's give it to 'em right now.
It goes a little something like this for you, baby.
Check it. Uh.
(gentle guitar music)
♪ Your Air Jordans are done, oo-wee ♪
♪ Your Air Jordans are- ♪
♪ Babe, you know that they through ♪
♪ Your Air Jordans need to go in the garbage ♪
♪ I said you know that they ♪
♪ Leaning, leaning ♪
♪ Oh-oh oh oh ♪ ♪ Your Jordans are leaning ♪
♪ I said you know that they through ♪
♪ Your Air Jordans ♪
♪ Are done, oo-wee ♪ ♪ Oh-oh oh oh oh ♪
(audience cheering) ♪ Your Air Jordans are done ♪
♪ La-Da-Da-Dee yeah ♪
♪ Your Air Jordans are done ♪ (vocalizing)
♪ Oh-Oh-Oo-Oh-Ah ♪ ♪ Your Air Jordans are done ♪
♪ Oh-Ah-Da-Da ♪ ♪ Leaning ♪
♪ Yo-Ah-Da-Da ♪ ♪ Leaning ♪
♪ Wo-Dah-Da ♪
♪ Wo-Yeah-Ee-Yeah ♪
♪ Your Air Jordans are done ♪ (bell dinging)
(audience cheering) ♪ Your Air ♪