- Hey everyone, I'm Taylor and welcome to Debatable.
The show where we take extremely
opinionated comedians from Twitter
and have them debate the most polarizing topics.
Our panel of expert judges will weigh in on each argument
and finally declare a winner,
putting an end to years of discourse.
Today's resolve is, 'Shake Shack is not fast food.'
Otto, you're on the affirmative
and you've got 60 seconds starting, now.
- Okay, Shake Shack is definitely not fast food.
Because, for one, when you go to McDonald's
and you order a chicken sandwich and medium fries
and it takes longer than 10 minutes to get to you,
when I say you, I mean me.
Yeah, that's not, fast.
That's a long time.
With Shake Shack, 10 minutes, that's the standard.
I've never been in a Shake Shack
and it's taken me less than 10 minutes to get my food.
Shake Shack is not fast food.
It's stealth brunch, okay.
That, is what Shake Shack is, alright.
You can go with your friends and get a community table,
sneak some alcohol in there and then just have a good time.
Okay, having a little bit of time left.
Uh.
Yeah, McDonald's on Delancey and Essex,
you owe me something like,
you owe me like seven minutes at least, okay.
Yeah.
- Alright, Otto.
You heard it here first.
The McDonald's on Delancey and Essex,
you owe him and it is Black History Month so pay up.
- Reperations, son, alright, okay.
- Alright, Lacey, you're on the negative
and you've got 60 seconds, starting now.
- Thank you, your Honor.
Not to be that eighth grader
but fast food is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as,
'food at a restaurant or a snack bar
that can be prepared quickly and taken to eat out.'
Babe, that is Shake Shack.
Even if they keep you waiting, around for your Shack burger
for more than 20 minutes it is still defined as fast food.
A good rule of thumb, if you're eating out of a paper bag
or on a plastic tray, you're eating fast food.
I appreciate that they've added rosé to the menu,
no one appreciates it more than me,
but that doesn't make it a Shake chateau,
it's still a shack.
And nothing screams shack more than fast food.
My hard proof that Shake Shack is fast food
is that I love it.
I have the palate of a drunk nine year old
so ultimately fast food makes up the majority of my diet.
I ate there twice this week.
I have the receipts to prove it.
My advice to you Shake Shack,
don't try to be something you're not.
You're beautiful just as you are and that's fast food.
Thank you.
- Amazing commentary from Lacey
and Shake Shack, you are beautiful the way you are.
We're body positive here.
Alright, you ready for your rebuttals?
- Yes, I am.
- Otto, you've got 30 seconds on the clock, starting now.
- Okay, I did not know Shake Shack started serving rosé.
Just by that very fact I would say
that having rosé does not make it fast food 'cause rosé
is not a fast food beverage.
Boom.
Fast food beverage, okay I probably said food weird.
But yeah, my point still stands,
the fact that they have alcohol on their menu,
you know that's not fast food, that's an evening in.
- Rosé is not fast food,
but I do have to say that rosé slander
does technically count as sexism.
- What?
- Alright, you're up next.
You've got a 30 second rebuttal, starting now.
- Okay, if you're not being waited on,
it is probably fast food.
If you have to get your hands dirty
and pump your own ketchup it is fast food.
And as delicious as it is, I think it's safe to say
that no-one would propose in a Shake Shack
and that legally makes it fast food.
If you're not getting down on one knee
you're not in a real restaurant.
Thank you.
- Excellent rebuttal, Lacey.
I will say that there was a viral video recently
of someone getting proposed to in a KFC
and people hated on them so much
that a Go Fund Me was started
and their honeymoon was funded.
Alright, let's take it over to the judges.
John, isn't that beautiful?
- That's a beautiful thing.
- I know, truly it warms my heart, alright.
John, what do you think.
- Yeah, so full disclosure.
I've never actually been to Shake Shack.
- Cancelled
- Because, I don't eat fast food
and for that I'm gonna have to go with Lacey
because you gave a very clear, coherent argument.
You cited the Oxford Dictionary.
She did her homework.
It's fast food.
It's pretty clear.
It's fast.
There's no-one serving you.
They may have rosé but still,
you're doing it all on your own.
It's gross so I don't eat it.
It's fast food.
Lacey won this by a landslide.
- You're very smart.
- Okay, Kat, what do you think?
- Oh, it's hard because the argument about the fast food,
the term fast is definitely part of, you know, the name.
Shake Shack is not a fast place.
They take some time to serve you.
But then when Lacey said
that you have to pump your own ketchup, I really felt,
you know, that's not something you would have
to do at a regular restaurant.
So, I think I'm gonna go with Shake Shack is fast food.
- Okay, another vote for Lacey.
Additional, John.
What do you think?
- Well, so as a registered dietician,
I do say that it's fast food.
But, for the debate, I'm sorry Otto, I love you,
but Lacey won this one.
- Hm, alright.
- Okay - Hands down
- That's a unanimous Lacey vote which means,
Lacey, you are the winner of this round.
Congratulations.
- Thank you so much.
The jury, your Honor.
Thank you.
- Well you heard it here, once and for all.
Shake Shack is fast food.
Thanks so much for joining us
and we'll see you next time on Debatable.