Hi Kira Leskew here, so you know how you feel, and it is hijacking your concentration.
This is common. I am going to give you one technique in how
to deal with this in about it in 5 minutes or less, so stay tuned.
This video is part of a series on improving concentration. In previous videos, I have
been talking about the relationship between emotions and concentration, and being able to identify how you feel.
If an emotion doesn't have a lot of momentum (i.e. you catch it early on) then often identifying
it is going to be enough to have it dissipate, and get back to concentrating.
However, our emotions related to a particular topic will get some momentum going, and they will
not be as easy to change. In this case, some additional mental strategies may be required.
I personally use many different ones, but in this video, I am going to outline one that
you can use to begin to use to lessen negative emotions that impede your ability to concentrate.
This technique works better with negative emotions, and there are other techniques that can be used with
positive emotions (such as excitement) which may prevent you from concentrating in a moment.
I'm only going to cover dealing with negative emotion aspect because it is a lot more common for most people.
I find that this activity works best when I write it down in my own writing (not typing),
there is something about writing it that actually slows us down, and helps us to focus and concentrate,
another bonus for improving concentration. So keep a notebook or journal handy to do this
and other focusing activities as you're learning to improve.
Scenario: you are in a meeting, and you have some tight deadlines on some really important
projects. Then, a decision is made on your key project that you feel really frustrated
with, and it adds to your workload. As you go back to your office, you can't concentrate
on what is in front of you because you keep going back to the meeting, and you replay
it over and over in your mind, and possibly, you manufacture new scenarios. And you get
more and more upset, and now you are distracted, and you are getting overwhelmed with your
email, phone messages and all the other things that you need to get done.
Clearly none of this is helping your concentration.
Well the emotions that we feel are due to a conflict between what we want, and what we perceive
to be happening in our experiences. One way out of this, is to mentally resolve that conflict.
There are a lot of ways to do this, but in this video, I am going to show you one technique that I use a lot.
Next time something this happens to you, try this:
Take out your journal, and name and write your emotion on the top of the page. FRUSTRATION
Then write on one side of the page: DON'T WANT, and write out everything that you don't
want to happen as a result of this.
Then, on the other side of the page write: DO WANT, and write the opposite.
All the optimal and better outcomes that can come out of this situation.
This helps us reframe the incident in our minds, but it also starts on some positive
momentum going, and it also helps us visualize getting the result that we want.
So in our earlier example, it might look like this:
Don't want: having extra work to do, not being listened to in decisions, not feeling
like I can influence decisions that affect me, feeling like my experience is not being
taken into account.
Do Want: being able to get my work done at a high level on time,
my output asked for and valued, my experience to be valued when
it is relevant, and I want to be concentrating on the project at hand and getting it done on time.
Most of the time, this will relieve some of the emotions that we are feeling that are
interfering with good concentration because we are mentally resolving the conflict that
we feel. Sometimes, this will work right away, but at other times, you may have to do it
a few times. It depends on how practiced you are at the old thought patterns
and how quickly you can reset your mind.
Learning better concentration is a process, and a little piece that you add to it will improve your ability to concentrate.
For other videos on improving your concentration, check out the cards for this video, and find
the playlist for improving concentration.
Also, I am going to be offering an online course in developing your own concentration, so stay
tuned for that. In the meantime,
do your best, leave me comments, let me know what's working, let me know where you're challenged,
and remember you have a choice when you're feeling the conflict, so do something about it.
Get our your paper, make a decision and do the exercise and see it that makes a difference.