(upbeat music)
- Hello there, I am Tess the intimacy OT.
And today I'm answering the question;
"can I have sex while I'm on chemo?"
The answer is yes,
But before I go into the details,
I just wanna introduce myself.
I'm an Occupational Therapist.
I work in sexuality and intimacy
for people diagnosed with cancer,
living with chronic illness and disability.
And I also have cancer myself.
So I've got a few little insights around that too,
and I've had chemo.
So, before I get stuck into it,
please click on that subscribe button.
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Please ask me any questions in the comments
and the details of my private Facebook group
are below as well,
if you want some one-on-one advice from me
and a really lovely, supportive community
of anyone affected by cancer.
Let's get started.
So, yes, you can have sex during chemo.
But there are a few things we need to be careful of.
Remember that chemo is toxic,
and it's being put into our bodies.
So there are most likely going to be levels of
precautions that you do need to take.
Now here's the thing.
It does actually depend on the type of chemo that you're on.
I didn't even know that there were lots of types of chemo,
until I was actually in the chair
and I saw all of the other people
were having different bags put in.
Drips, tablets, you name it.
Blew my mind.
So it depends on the type of chemo that you're on,
how often you have it, and the dose that you have.
So how do you know what to do?
You ask your oncologist
and you talk to your chemotherapy nurse.
The only way you're gonna know what you need to do
is if you ask your treating team.
So that could look like,
maybe you wanna ask,
"Hey, I just wanna know,
is there anything I need to do in regards to sex?"
Or "Are there any safety precautions I need to take
about intimate type of things?"
You can even just say,
"Look, I wanna talk about sex.
Can we go somewhere private?
I'm a bit awkward about this."
They're trained to answer your questions,
and their priority is your care.
So unfortunately, you do have to bring it up.
Now, a few more things, lubricants.
So the, our tissues can become quite sensitive.
We can become a little bit sore and also dehydrated.
So lubricants are so important.
I'm actually gonna be doing a video shortly,
only on chemo and the right types of lubes to use.
So I won't go into too much detail right now..
But just remember, lubes are your best friend.
If sex is toast, lubes' the spread.
You can use water-based.
Silicon-based is great too.
But remember that you don't wanna do any more damage.
So yes, use barriers if and when you need to,
such as condoms, dental dams,
internal condoms, or external condoms.
And also we want you to use lube.
Because again, your pleasure is really important.
I want you to also know that
it's okay if things don't normally function
the way that they used to while you're on chemo.
Your body is fighting cancer,
and you have a toxic medicine inside your body.
If your sensitivity changes,
if your pleasure changes,
if the way that your body used to work changes,
that's okay.
Please think of that as being normal.
And things might actually change
or go back to the way they were after,
or they might be different and even better, you never know.
So it's really important to remember,
you've gotta talk to your treating team.
It's very different depending on the type of chemo
that you're on.
It's really important also,
we don't want anyone to get pregnant during chemotherapy.
The toxins in the body can actually
cause some damage to the fetus.
So again, talk to your treating team.
It's really important.
You are doing safer sex protocols,
not only to prevent pregnancy,
but also to protect the tissues.
Your partner's tissues and yourself as well.
And lastly, sex does not need to be
an Olympic sport sweat fest.
It can be slow, soft, and gentle.
And I'm actually gonna be talking about in another video,
some really handy tips and tricks around sexual positioning,
around things like fatigue and nausea,
and ways to get around pain.
So that's my chemo and sex, "yes, you can do it" advice.
Again, I can't say this enough,
please talk to your treating team.
They know your regime, they know your chemo,
they know your treatment cycles,
they are the ones to talk to.
Yes, you can have sex.
To the partners, if you're a partner of someone on chemo,
we will not break.
I understand that we're very ill
and you don't wanna hurt us.
Just be gentle.
Don't be curious, like,
be curious, be gentle.
You don't have to avoid us completely.
Just go slow, ask questions, communication is everything.
Thank you for joining me.
I'll see you on the next videos.
Please subscribe,
please like, and again, ask me any comments or questions
in the comments below, that would be great.
I love hearing from you.
See you on the next, everybody.
Bye.