- Hey, what's up everybody?
Welcome to Stupid Questions: Roast Edition.
(imitating sizzling)
(laughing)
I'm here with Nikki Glaser, Brian Moses, Coach Tea,
and Dom Irrera.
- A lot of people don't know this.
We went to grade school, high school, and college together.
- True
- And to see you again, it breaks my heart,
I love you so much.
- Dom, I appreciate that, I really do.
(rock music)
Here we're gonna play this little game.
It's a fill-in-the-blank game.
So Bruce Willis is a lousy what?
- French kisser, and I'll tell you why.
He does the thing with his tongue, the twirling thing.
It just gets all my, I see where you stop it and relax
and just (beep) rub the tongue.
- I would love to roast Bruce Willis.
- Would you?
- Yeah.
- You said you don't like roasting.
- No, I know, but I'm a fan of Bruce Willis,
so I would like to...
- What's your favorite Bruce Willis movie?
- Look Who's Talking.
- Really?
- 100 percent.
- If I was roasting Bruce Willis,
it's like those eyes are crystal blue.
I would just get kinda getting lost in your eyes now.
- Oh, thank you.
- No problem.
- I don't think he makes eye contact.
- Oh yeah, I've heard that.
- I've heard that on set you can't.
So I think that's why.
It's not that he's rude or he thinks he's above it,
he doesn't want people falling in love with him.
Because then it can distract from the work he needs to do.
- Just goes full Stevie Wonder.
What do you think his tomb stone would say?
- "Why are you staring at me like that?"
- Maybe it'd say "Look who's not talking now".
You know, because of the movie Look Who's Talking.
All right.
(rock music)
What would you say is your most roastable attribute?
- If I were roasting me, I'd go after the fact
that I don't have an ass.
(laughing)
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- You would just, yeah that you're just assless.
- Yeah that I just have a long back,
I think that that's a good one.
- I don't need an ass, to be honest with you.
- Thank you for saying that.
- Absolutely, and I mean that.
- I lost it in the war.
- The thing about me, I'm so adorable.
- You really are.
- You know, with this whole puffy-faced closed-eyes look
that I'm going for.
I don't know what they could possibly say about me.
(rock music)
- Brian Moses, who is the referee of Roast Battle.
Do you have pre-battle, pre-Roast Battle pump-up music?
- I'm a jazz guy.
- Interesting.
- Yeah a lot of Coltrane.
Unity's smooth because it's so vicious.
- I'm always listening to Taylor Swift because she is...
I like to think of myself as the Taylor Swift of comedy.
A lot of people have called me that
because I've asked them to.
- I'm here with Coach Tea the DJ.
Here's a stupid question.
- [Coach Tea] All right.
- What do you think, what's the dumbest song that you feel
you've had to play during a roast battle?
- I have an interesting role because whenever the comedians
come out to battle, I'm always trying to make fun.
- Yeah.
- So one time there was a guy and he had a short arm.
And so I played a song that just kept repeating
"Put that hands up in the air".
And everyone's laughing because he literally can't
because he's got a little miniature arm.
(rock music)
- Have you ever roasted someone so hard
that you really felt guilty afterwards?
- No, no.
- You just, doesn't matter?
- It usually happens to me.
And they were like "Oh I feel guilty
because I was so mean to you."
- We roasted Ann Coulter last time.
- Oh yes.
- And I went really hard on her and it felt great.
I didn't have any regrets about it.
So I never wanna say anything that's gonna make someone
feel terrible about who they are
unless they're a terrible person like Ann Coulter.
And then it's like you need to know.
I didn't have to hold back at all.
- Have you ever roasted someone so hard
that you felt guilty afterwards?
- You know who Jack Palance is?
- Jack, oh yeah of course, City Slickers.
- He got mad at people.
I heard Chevy Chase did too.
- Why?
- But you can't, he goes.
Somebody would say something, and he'd go "(beep) you".
I don't think he got the theme of this whole thing.
It's a joke.
- Jack Palance, he's dead now, right?
- He's either dead or having a tremendous lull
in his career.
- Here's something, because I don't like to roast really,
because I don't like to be mean, right?
And you're a really nice guy, I can tell that.
But you're a part of this Roast Battle show
where people are slamming people.
So how do you get into your place where you can just be mean
just for a little bit?
- I love it because I don't consider it to be mean.
- Okay.
- Because I don't think anybody should ever have
power over you, period.
So when something actually agitates you,
that's a moment in your life, and be like
"Why am I so uncomfortable with that?"
- That was some Roast Battle Gandhi shit.
- (laughing) Yeah.
(rock music)