Hello, everyone.
Welcome to another edition of Marvel Reads.
My name is Alice Rosenthal and I've had the privilege
to work at Marvel Entertainment in New York City for just shy
of 10 years.
I know I've had a little extra time in my day
to catch up on some reading.
Some of my most favorite reading so far has been to check in
with my favorite superheroes.
So today, I want to check in on my main man
Spidey in a wonderful comic called "Ahoy, Spidey!"
from Marvel Superhero Adventures Frost Giants Among Us.
Ooh, we start out on a beautiful summer day on the Hudson River.
Spider-Man appears to be having a lobster cruise dinner.
Excuse me, ooh la la, fancy Spidey.
So on the boat, he decides to kind of
add a little levity to the situation
by starting out with a joke.
"What did the lobster say before dinner?" he asks.
"Looks like I'm in hot water.
Dang, you sure are a tough crowd.
What's the matter, feeling crabby?"
he asks.
Oh Spidey, that's a lot of puns right there in a row.
That's a great start.
But just as he's enjoying his lobster and French fries,
he does hear someone screaming in the background.
"Help!
Someone please help!"
Spider sense is going off and yoink!
He takes off.
But not without grabbing a fistful of French fries first.
Because as we all know, wasting French fries
is a crime unto itself.
Swinging and eating, he runs into the young lady
who was screaming.
She says, "He's getting away!
Someone help pl--" And just as she's about to finish the word,
Spider-Man appears over her shoulder.
"Please?
Were you going to say please?
You have good manners, even when you're screaming."
Spidey, that's so nice of you to point out.
Good manners are very, very important, aren't they?
"You got here fast" she says.
"I was in the area."
Yeah, eating lobster and French fries.
Not getting over that, I'm pretty jealous.
"We're from a charity that helps New York public schools
purchase classroom supplies.
And tonight is our big annual fundraising event. "
And just as she's in the middle of telling Spidey
all of this news, she looks confused and stares at him
and goes, "Um, are you eating?"
And then as we all do sometimes, even though we know we
absolutely shouldn't, he talks with
his mouth full and goes "mm mm mm, yes, m'sorry, m'sorry."
Frustrated, the woman goes, "Are the Avengers available?
This is serious."
"I'm sorry", Spider-Man says.
"I mean, I am here to help.
I promise.
Now, what's the problem?"
She then goes on to tell him as they look at the ship sailing
away.
"The ship we rented for our charity cruise
tonight was just stolen.
It's full of artwork and electronics
that we're going to auction off to raise money for buying
all of the classroom supplies.
It's about a million dollars worth."
"Uff, that is a lot of classroom supplies. " That
is a lot of classroom supplies.
So true.
Spidey swings into action after hearing about what's going on
and how he can help save the day.
"For the kids! " "But the pirate thieves are that way" she says,
pointing in the other direction than where Spidey is swinging.
"Yeah, but the tall buildings I can actually web sling between
are this way."
The road less traveled, Spidey knows what he's doing,
he knows.
"Plus, my real superpower is getting from Midtown to Battery
Park in under five minutes."
That's definitely the superpower I would want.
"I'm gonna take a short cut to cut them off
before they get out of the harbor."
He's got a plan here, this is good.
"Let's just keep finding more boats."
Whipping, whipping, swinging around the city.
And then he goes, "Oh no!"
Spidey sense is going off again, something's about to happen
and then splash!
"Too cold!
Too cold!
And now the bad guys are getting away."
Unless, not letting the cold or his little minor mistake
distract him, he comes up with a cool new plan.
"Unless I can hitch a ride."
So Spidey slings his webs onto the back of a speedboat.
It kind of looks like he's doing some really cool
waterskiing, which is not easy.
I have tried it and failed.
"There's the stolen boat!
I better catch it before we get mixed up
with all of the other ships!"
he screams to the passengers.
"Wait!
No!
Hi, people I don't know-- bad guys are over there."
To make sure he doesn't lose the ship
that he needs to get back on, he thwips
his webs onto the end of it.
"Now, I know which boat is the stolen one.
" Then he's in the water, connected with the webs.
Pulling and swimming and pulling and swimming.
Uff.
I'm exhausted just reading that.
He climbs up aboard.
"Ahoy!"
Ah, look.
Hence the title of the book "Ahoy!
It's your friendly neighborhood Spider-Pirate.
I'm taking your stolen treasure and the boat
back to whom it belongs.
Hey!
You can't re-steal the boat with me on it."
They're still trying to get away.
"Stop revving the boat engine."
What are these guys thinking?
Spider-Man's hear now to save the day.
"I just realized that I sealed you up with all the boat
controls, including the anchor.
Which would be really useful for me right about now.
They're going for the bridge!
At least they're closer to the city now."
He's already finding the silver lining, and I just love that.
I just love that about Spidey.
"Come on Spidey think, think!
What can be used as an anchor?
Wait a second."
And he's-- he's flinging webs every which way.
That's my best attempt at the thwip noise.
I don't know if it's good, but it makes me happy
and it's certainly fun to do.
"Man, you're still trying to make a run for it!
I'm fighting a boat engine here",
he says out of frustration.
He's pulling, he's yanking, he's got webs on the boat,
webs on the building, trying to pull the boat in.
"The wind isn't doing me any favors either.
Well, thanks for siding with the boat, wind."
I mean, you know, could he get a break here?
He's trying to do the right thing.
"If I can just keep towing it in."
He's pulling.
"My Spidey suit is getting sweaty.
I can feel the tensions in my web lines, it's about to snap,
that's it!
Where one web fails--" thwip, thwip, thwip--
"many may succeed. " That's right, not everything
has to go to plan here Spidey.
You're doing great.
"Almost-- I got it!"
Then in a victory song--
we all have our own victory song.
(SINGING) "Yo ho, yo ho, a bottle of Coke,
no more pirate's life for me.
Ha, ha, ha.
I caught the scalawags in my web."
I never get to say the word scalawag so I'm
going to read that again.
"I caught the scalawags in my web.
I may not make a great pirate, but I make a great spider."
The young woman, who grabbed Spidey's attention
for help at the very beginning has
been watching this whole time.
She says, "Thank you for rescuing
all of the stolen goods they took from us, Spider-Man.
I don't know how we would have raised all the money to buy
school supplies without them.
Hey, Spider-Man, do you take constructive criticism?"
I mean, we all know he did a great job,
but there's always room for improvement, right?
"Sometimes, when I feel like it," he says.
"Well--" she says "--you just blocked
traffic on one of the busiest bridges in the world."
Spidey is just staring at the bridge,
looking at all these backed up cars.
"Oh, noted."
"In any case, thank you again for helping us."
But you know what?
If I was stuck in traffic because I was watching
Spider-Man do his thing, I'd say that's a pretty
good commute, honestly.
So I wouldn't mind the traffic.
"All in a day's work.
Thwip."
"Wait, you actually say thwip?
Like out loud?"
Spider-Man, as he swings away victorious after saving the day
he goes, "Sometimes, when I feel like it.
Thwip."
The end.
Thank you so much for joining, and please tune in next time
for more Marvel Reads.
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