Why do ex's rebound? That's what this video is about. But first, my name is Clay with
modernlove.life. We help you get the great loving relationship that you're looking for
without having to play mind games, without having to play hard to get and without having to pretend
to be someone or something that you are not. Because you, of course, deserve to be loved
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hit the buttons, all that stuff. But, yeah, what we're talking about in this video
is why ex's rebound. I've been helping people out with relationships and breakups since 2009. I have
noticed that there does seem to be an increase in the number of rebound relationships that seem
to be happening. People breakup and they're more likely to get into a new rebound relationship with
someone else. So why exactly is this happening? Well, first of all, I think that a lot of it is
due to emotional unavailability. Okay? Now, pretty much most people are going to be emotionally
unavailable immediately following a breakup, whether that's temporary emotional unavailability
or long-term emotional unavailability, is a little bit of a conversation for another video.
But let's just say that pretty much everyone is emotionally unavailable for a period of time
after a breakup. So why does this happen? This happens because obviously a breakup is
an emotionally intense experience that people go through. You're in a relationship and then you're
not in a relationship. It doesn't matter whether it was your choice to leave the relationship or
whether it was someone else's choice to leave the relationship. It's still an emotionally taxing and
emotionally demanding and emotionally challenging experience to go through. As the result of that,
you have to go through a process of healing and looking at your emotions in order to really
work through them and get to the point where you can have a genuine, authentic
relationship with someone else that isn't just a reaction to the previous relationship.
Now, in my opinion, this is becoming harder these days because of certain things that most
of us have. And the reason for that is because these things, these phones that we have with us,
they encourage us to turn away from the present moment and towards technology. Basically, they're
conditioning us to turn away from the present moment when we feel an intense emotion, whether
that's anything, even something as mundane as being bored. Being bored while we're waiting for
something to happen, to wait for our bus or our train to arrive or wait for some appointment or
wait for a Zoom meeting to start or something like that. We're like, "Oh, let me just check
and see what's happening on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram or something like that or YouTube."
We're being conditioned to turn away from the present moment, because we're not sitting with
that discomfort. We're not sitting with that feeling, whatever it is of like, "Oh,
hey, I just have a few minutes. Let me just see what's happening." And that's spilling over into
bigger issues like breakups. Like, "Hey, so-and-so and me aren't on good terms. They're
upset with me, or I'm upset with them." Instead of dealing with it, instead of cleaning it up,
we just look the other way and escape into some easy distraction, whether that is social media,
whether that is a rebound relationship or whether that's something else. In my opinion,
there is an escalation in rebound relationships because as social media and smartphone use becomes
more accelerated, people are conditioning themselves to disengage from the present
moment. Which, of course, is having all sorts of disastrous results in relationships in all
sorts of ways. That, of course, is also a conversation for another video. But,
when it comes to rebound relationships this is why I believe this is happening more often.
What this means is that, yeah, I do believe that the emotionally unavailable period for coming
out of a relationship of a breakup is getting longer for people, because they are distracting
themselves more. They are turning away from the present moment. They are turning away from their
genuine feelings and distracting themselves more. It's not just a matter of, "Oh, hey, let's watch
some goofy cat videos or something." But it's, "Okay, what could I be distracted by?" Well,
I could be distracted from how I actually feel by paying attention to stupid pointless things like
how long it takes my ex to respond to something. Or I could be distracted by, "Oh my goodness,
my ex unfollowed me on this social media app." Nevermind the fact that the social media app
wasn't even there or didn't even exist when we got together, but they unfollowed me from this
thing. They unfollowed me from a website on the internet, even though we actually just had
a really great conversation the other day. Or all of these other things that pull us out of
the present moment, whether it's social media, whether it's who's initiating contact with who,
whether it's how long it's been since somebody replied or how long it takes them to reply,
whether it's sports, whether it's TV shows, whether it's all of these other things that
are constantly pulling our attention out of the present moment and not giving us the
opportunity to actually sit with our feelings. They condition us to turn away from the present
moment, to deny the present moment, to push it away and to look for some sort of distraction.
In many cases, a rebound relationship fits that bill very easily. So in a lot of ways, we were
being conditioned to turn away from the present moment. We're being conditioned to deny our
feelings and we're being conditioned to actually invite rebound relationships into our lives,
and that includes your ex. Why do dumpers rebound is because they're being conditioned to do that.
Obviously, there's also other reasons that they could be rebounding as well, too. But to look
at the core underlying reason is because they're not willing to actually sit with their emotions.
They're not willing to actually feel through their emotions. They're not actually willing to
experience their emotions in a full way. They're trying to turn away from them. They're trying to
look at the next bright, shiny object. They are oftentimes doing themselves more damage than good
in the long run. And this goes for anyone, not just dumpers, but anyone who's going through a
breakup or anyone who's going through any sort of human experience, whether that's a breakup or
whether that's some sort of other setback in life or whether that's just you going through your day
and just not being able or willing to just sit in quiet and look out at the present moment
and experience it. Whether that's just watching a sunset, whether that's watching a bird fly through
the sky, whether that's being there with someone else and just connecting with them, whether that's
being honest with someone and telling someone the truth or anything else. If
you can be in the present moment, when you can actually be okay with that and actually
handle that emotional intensity, then you're much less likely to end up in a rebound relationship
and much more likely to end up in a genuine, real, authentic high-quality relationship.
If getting yourself able to actually handle that emotional intensity, sever the ties of the past
and being able to put yourself in an emotionally available place where you can actually create
a great, wonderful, amazing relationship with something that you want to experience, we do,
of course, have our course called Emotional Freedom. It used to be called the Compatibility
Code, but it's now called Emotional Freedom. You can find that down in the description box below
this video. Feel free to check it out. If it's a good fit for you, you're more than welcome to sign
up. If it's not a good fit for you, no worries. But, it is down there. If you did like this video
and if you do want to help a guy out with his YouTube channel, hit that thumbs up button, hit
the subscribe button, leave a comment down below. What do you think, has smarter phone use,
has social media use been a positive aspect to our interpersonal relationships or has it held
us back in some way? Leave a comment down below. Let me know. And if you do want to learn a little
bit more about rebound relationships, we do, of course, have our video playlist on rebound
relationships. It's right over here. Or you can check out this video right here. But once again,
thanks so much. Please take care. I'll talk to you in the next video.