- I know somebody's gon' look at this and say,
"Why is he drinking? He got cancer."
Fuck off.
(orchestral music)
- I'm Paula, that's my daughter Madison.
- My name is Preston.
- I'm Patrice.
- My name's Amy, this is my mom.
- Colleen. I have cancer.
Cancer sucks.
- I have multiple myeloma.
- My mom has lung cancer.
- Stage four lung cancer.
- You don't look sick.
- I don't feel sick.
- Okay, kid.
How did you react when you found out I was sick?
- I think I just kept saying these stories in my head
where my mom died when I was 20.
She didn't see all of these...
- Grandchildren, I wanna see grandchildren.
- I just felt like everything just stopped.
It was just unreal.
- Yeah.
- I knew something was weird because you kept saying,
"Just go in my account. Take my money."
- Because I was like, okay, I want to pay off her bills
before I go if I go fast.
- I don't want to cry, we're not far enough into this.
- What's on your bucket list?
- What I've always said that I was gon' do was do
a business transaction with a prostitute.
Now, do I have editing control over this?
- You said it, he didn't tell you to say that.
You could've definitely lied or took a shot.
- Sexcapades?
Sure, who doesn't?
Yeah, I'm not dead yet.
- Oh, God.
- Have you ever stolen from me?
- I mean, what's to steal?
- Have you ever stolen from me, missy?
Tell the truth.
- Maybe $50.
- Oh, you're lyin', you better take a drink.
I don't believe ya.
- Have you ever stolen from me?
- Yes.
- Yeah. All of us remember that.
- Probably cigarettes.
I wasn't working and I had really bad depression
and she deserved so much better.
- Have you ever caught me having sex?
- Oh my gosh, no! Never, never.
- Have you ever caught me having sex?
- Do you have sex? - I don't have sex, jesus.
- One time, I came out of my room and I feel like you were
literally like spread eagle naked.
And he looks over.
He's like, "Uh, your daughter's there."
And then I just ran back.
[Madison] Yeah, thanks.
- Let's take a bet on how much longer I have to live.
What the hell kind of question is that?
- That's sick.
- I ain't gon' take no bet.
- I don't know, there's no bet.
Let's take a shot.
- So we'll make a bet, who will pay you?
- Tell me, have I disappointed you?
How so?
- Oh, absolutely not.
You know, I idolize you.
- I understand you're 22 and I don't want you to have kids
now, but it sucks me thinking about
I may not be around when you do.
- I don't desire to have kids.
- Never?
- I don't know. I don't know if I want.
- I want grandkids.
I mean, in 10 years, things change.
- We'll see. - Okay.
- Do you think I did enough in my life?
- Travel wise, seeing things around the world, no.
But I mean, you sacrificed that time to take care
of your family and work.
- You know, people say, "What you gon' leave behind?"
I say, "Hey, I raised three girls
and they all good people. I'm cool."
- Do you feel like you had enough sexual experiences
back in your day?
- Okay, time for a shot.
Oh, that brings back memories.
- Sound like you partied a lot.
- I did, I went through the disco era.
- What was your drug of choice?
- Always had to have my weed.
And then I unfortunately got into cocaine.
My life drastically changed.
- From coke?
- Yes.
- I didn't know you were addicted to coke.
- Damn.
All right, let's talk funeral arrangements.
I don't even want to talk about that.
How do you want it to go down?
- I have a playlist.
Parliament-Funkadelic, James Brown.
I want people to have a party.
- Oh, I've told you I don't want anything.
I just want to be cremated.
No big party, no big celebration, just you know.
- But then you know me, and that's not how I want it.
- I know, you're the opposite.
- Even just to burn it, you'd be in a nice casket.
- I don't want to be in a casket.
- They don't just put your body on a thing and roll
you in there and burn you.
- Oh, alright.
- I don't even think I'd put you in a cheap,
it would be a decent, you know.
- Oh honey, don't waste the money. It's just a box.
I mean, you know.
- What do you really want me to know before I die?
- I guess I want you to know
that I don't just seek out men.
- You're bisexual?
- Yeah, I'm bisexual.
- Did you lie to me about that when you said you were
going on dates?
- I didn't lie, you just assumed it was a guy.
- I had no idea, I really had no idea.
- What's your biggest regret as a parent and in life?
- One regret, being apart is not being there enough.
Y'all had to do stuff with just you and mamma
'cause I was working.
- Probably that I didn't get divorced sooner.
It was ugly for you kids, and I regret that.
I'm sorry for that.
- I honestly hated our household.
Even being there, even if nobody else was there.
It reminds me of the trauma of growing up there.
- Sorry.
- What's your biggest regret as a parent and in life?
- Oh, the drug addiction that I wasted so much time
doing so much stupid shit.
And causing me to not be
an emotionally present parent for you
and denying you the fair and good start you deserved.
And to this day, she doesn't hold it against me
for what she missed out on.
It's my biggest guilt.
I carry that with me every day.
- What will you miss most about me?
- You don't take shit.
You are direct, you are blunt.
- Well I was ready to tell that guy at the movies
to fuck off last night.
- You're so embarrassing.
You are so angry.
He said sorry. - I didn't hear him say that.
- I just fear, I know it sounds selfish,
but what's gonna happen to me when you're gone.
- Unfortunately with my dad, I just don't feel like...
- He's not emotionally supportive.
- To be honest, I thought that before.
I'd rather it be my dad.
- Oh, honey.
- I know that sounds so bad, but I've always said
it doesn't matter who doesn't like me because my mom
is obsessed with me, she loves me.
I don't care if I have nobody, at least I have my mom.
- I love you my baby. You know you're my world.
- Is part of you ready to go?
- Hell no.
- I'm not ready to go.
I'm waiting for my grandchildren.
So when I'm 90, maybe you'll have one then.
- I mean, I know all that when I'm on the other side
I can still be with you and all that.
No, I need to physically be with you, so no.
I am not ready to go.
I'm gonna prolong this and stretch this out
as long as I can.
Fuck you, cancer.
- We didn't cry, we didn't cry!
- I didn't cry.